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  • So recently I had a client of mine ringing me up

    所以,最近我的一個客戶給我打了電話

  • and she was in a really tricky situation.

    而她的處境非常棘手。

  • Her and her boyfriend of three years have basically just broken up.

    她和交往三年的男友基本上就這樣分手了。

  • Now, they live in the same flat together

    現在,他們住在同一個組織、部門

  • and they've got five months left on the contract.

    他們已經得到了5個月左合同。

  • So not only are they going to have to share the flat

    所以他們不僅要分擔組織、部門的工作

  • for another five months, but because it's a one bed flat,

    再過五個月,但因為是一個單人床組織、部門。

  • they're going to have to share the same bed.

    他們將不得不共享一張床。

  • Can you even imagine how difficult that must be?

    你能想象這有多難嗎?

  • I remember helping one couple in particular whose communication

    我記得我曾幫助過一對夫婦,他們的溝通

  • had become so toxic, that they could no longer hear and understand

    變得如此毒辣,以至於他們再也聽不進、聽不懂了

  • what the other was asking.

    對方問的是什麼。

  • All they heard were their worst fears.

    他們聽到的都是他們最擔心的事情。

  • Let's face it, breaking up is never easy.

    面對現實吧,分手從來都不是一件容易的事。

  • But when you're in a situation that forces you to get on with an ex,

    但是,當你處於一個迫使你和前男友相處的情況下。

  • it can be a really difficult divide to cross.

    這可能是一個非常難以跨越的鴻溝。

  • People fall madly in love and in my experience,

    人們瘋狂地愛上了,以我的經驗。

  • they fall madly out of love as well.

    他們也瘋狂地失戀了。

  • You might find yourself in a tricky situation

    你可能會發現自己處於一個棘手的局面

  • if you live in the same halls as your ex at university

    如果你住在同一個宿舍,你的前夫在大學裡。

  • or you go to a party or a wedding of a mutual friend

    或者你去參加聚會或共同朋友的婚禮。

  • or you happen to work together.

    或者你們正好一起工作。

  • Often the people I help share children and assets.

    我所幫助的人常常分享孩子和資產。

  • And although you may not like them at the moment,

    雖然你現在可能不喜歡他們。

  • your ex is likely to be your best possible resource

    你的前任很可能是你最好的資源。

  • to help you look after your children

    幫助你照顧你的孩子

  • and create the life that you want for yourself.

    併為自己創造想要的生活。

  • A messy breakup means that you need to find creative ways

    混亂的分手意味著你需要找到創造性的方法

  • to cross the divide.

    以跨越鴻溝。

  • I know it's not always possible

    我知道不一定能做到

  • but really try to give one another proper space after the breakup.

    但分手後真的要試著給彼此適當的空間。

  • Ideally commit to going around six months to one year of no contact,

    最好承諾半年到一年左右不聯繫。

  • just so that you give yourselves the chance to get each other

    只是為了給你們自己一個機會,讓你們互相瞭解對方

  • out of your systems.

    出你的系統。

  • Take advice from all sources -

    聽取所有來源的建議----

  • Accountants, tax advisors, benefit officers -

    會計師、稅務顧問、福利幹事----------。

  • whatever is going to help you the most.

    不管是什麼,都會對你有最大的幫助。

  • If you have an area that you're afraid of,

    如果你有一個你害怕的領域。

  • if you're afraid of finances... get help.

    如果你害怕財務... ... 得到幫助。

  • Don't ignore it or stick your head in the sand and hope it will go away,

    不要忽視它或把頭伸進沙子裡,希望它能消失。

  • it won't.

    它不會。

  • Embrace it and grow.

    擁抱它,成長。

  • When you do see your ex in a social situation,

    當你在社交場合看到你的前任時。

  • go out of your way to take the high road, however difficult that may be.

    不惜一切代價,走好自己的路,無論多麼困難。

  • Say hello, be graceful, be mature.

    問好,要優雅,要成熟。

  • So I was in a situation like this myself a few years ago.

    所以幾年前我自己也遇到過這樣的情況。

  • I had been asked to do a speech at a festival

    我曾被要求在一個節日裡做一個演講。

  • about a book that I'd written, now this book was mainly

    關於我寫的一本書,現在這本書主要是。

  • about a really painful breakup that I'd had with an ex.

    關於一個非常痛苦的分手 我有一個前。

  • And my new boyfriend of a year had come to watch me do this talk.

    而我新交了一年的男朋友也來看我做這個演講。

  • And as the workshop started,

    而隨著研討會的開始。

  • in walks my ex, from the book, with his new girlfriend.

    走在我的前,從書中, 與他的新女友。

  • And look, this could have been such an awkward situation

    你看,這可能是這樣一個尷尬的局面。

  • for my new boyfriend, but as soon as the workshop was over,

    為我的新男友,但當研討會一結束。

  • he went right up to my ex, introduced himself

    他徑直走到我前妻面前,自我介紹說

  • and they ended up really, really getting on.

    他們最後真的,真的得到上。

  • So much so, that he has very recently asked my ex

    以至於他最近問我的前妻... ...

  • to be an usher at our wedding next year.

    明年在我們的婚禮上做司儀。

  • Get in touch with the new you and who you want to be.

    與全新的你和你想成為的人取得聯繫。

  • Think about where you might want to be in a year's time.

    想一想一年後你可能想去哪裡。

  • Be curious about those options, think about your wider context.

    對這些選擇要有好奇心,想想你的大環境。

  • Get back in touch with your passions, your friends

    與你的激情、你的朋友重新建立聯繫。

  • and the person that you may have compromised in the relationship.

    和你可能在這段關係中妥協的人。

  • Focus on the future and the person you want to be,

    專注於未來和你想成為的人。

  • rather than the painful events that may have taken place.

    而不是可能發生的痛苦事件。

  • Whatever you do, do not put your mutual friends

    無論你做什麼,不要把你的共同朋友

  • in an awkward position by making them choose between you and your ex

    讓他們在你和你的前男友之間做出選擇,從而使他們處於尷尬的境地。

  • or talking really negatively about your ex behind their back.

    或者在背後說你前男友的壞話。

  • Trust me, this does not put you in a good light.

    相信我,這不會給你帶來好的印象。

  • Mentalise and empathise with your ex-partner's needs

    對你前伴侶的需求進行心理疏導和同情

  • and try to be objective.

    並儘量做到客觀。

  • It takes a great deal of emotional effort

    這需要大量的感情投入

  • to see your ex through that lens.

    通過這個鏡頭來看待你的前男友。

  • But remember you did love them once,

    但請記住,你確實曾經愛過他們。

  • and you did see their positive attributes.

    而你確實看到了他們的積極屬性。

  • They still have them, you just can't see them right now.

    他們還有,只是現在看不到了。

  • Thanks for watching! :)

    謝謝你的觀看!:)

  • If you liked this vide hit like and subscribe!

    如果你喜歡這個視頻點擊喜歡和訂閱!

  • Click the bell to receive notifications for new videos. See you soon!

    點擊鈴鐺接收新視頻的通知。很快就會看到你

So recently I had a client of mine ringing me up

所以,最近我的一個客戶給我打了電話

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A2 初級 中文 男友 研討會 鴻溝 幫助 部門 跨越

六個小貼士:如何與你的前男友相處(當你不得不這樣做的時候)|BBC Ideas (Six tips on how to get on with your ex (when you have to) | BBC Ideas)

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    Summer 發佈於 2020 年 10 月 15 日
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