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  • Hi, everyone. I'm Jade. What we're talking about today is saying the right thing

    嗨,大家好,我是潔得。今天我們要談論的是如何在朋友心情低落、遇到問題時

  • when you've got a friend who's feeling down, your friend's got a problem.

    用適當的方式、話語對待他們。

  • We're specifically talking about a friend who has lost a job, but you could use the same advice

    在這邊我們具體要講的是失業了的朋友,但你也可以給相同的建議

  • for a friend with a different problem; a friend with a breakup or some other emotional thing that's happened in their life.

    給有不一樣問題的朋友,像是剛分手或是在生活中遇到的一些其他造成情緒波動事件的朋友。

  • So the formal word for this is: "consoling", "to console" someone,

    所以描述這種狀況的正式用語為:『 Consoling 』,『去安慰 』某人,

  • but the more relaxed way could be:

    但有個比較輕鬆的方式是:

  • how to make somebody feel better about themselves or their problem.

    如何讓某人對他們自己或他們的問題感到好過一點。

  • So what should you do in this situation? Well, a lot of the time, when people have a problem,

    所以你在這種情況下該怎麼辦呢?嗯,大部分時間裡,當人們遇到問題,

  • they just want to talk to someone. Maybe they're not seeking advice. So what can you do?

    他們就只是想要跟某個人傾訴。他們可能不是真的要你的建議。所以你能做什麼?

  • You can ask questions. So remember we're talking about somebody who's recently lost a job or is losing a job,

    你可以問一些問題來引導他抒發。請記得我們現在針對的是那些最近剛失業或準備要失業的朋友,

  • we can ask them questions. We can say: "What are you going to do now?"

    我們可以問他們一些問題如:『 你現在打算怎麼做?』

  • Maybe your tone of voice wouldn't be really positive like that. It would be more like:

    也許你的語氣不能太正面積極。反倒比較像是:

  • "Oh, what are you going to do now?" It would be more soft.

    『 喔,那你打算怎麼做才好?』像這樣比較緩和、輕柔。

  • You could say... This is... This is an indirect question. "Have you thought about..?",

    你可以說...這是...這是個不那麼直接的方式。『 你有想過這樣...嗎?』,

  • "Have you thought about training again?" This is a way of... This is a suggestion.

    『 你有想過要再參加受訓課程嗎?』這是一種給予建議的方式。

  • Or you could say: "Are you looking for another job?" So this way, your friend can just start talking

    或者你可以說:『 你有在找其他的工作嗎?』透過這個方式,你的朋友可以開始訴說

  • and maybe that will help them in their difficult situation.

    而那樣或者可以幫助他們在困境中釐清思緒。

  • Because, as a friend, you need to "be supportive", helping your friend out when they need help.

    因為,身為一個朋友,你需要做的是"支持",在你的朋友有難時給予幫助。

  • You could "be a shoulder to cry on", that's an idiom for somebody who just...

    你可以當他『 想哭泣時能夠依靠的肩膀 』,這是當某個人正好

  • Who just needs someone to share their feelings with. If you're a shoulder to cry on

    需要一個能夠傾訴他們情緒的對象時可以使用的慣用語。如果當你朋友需要你的時候

  • when your friend needs you, that means that you're a good friend. And here's another expression:

    你是那個可以讓他依賴的人,那代表你是個好的朋友。而這裡有另一個表達方式:

  • "A friend in need is a friend indeed." And it kind of has the opposite meaning to what you'd expect.

    『 患難見真情 』。它的意思可能跟你所想的相反。

  • My feeling is this means that you should be the kind of... Real friends are there for you

    我覺得你應該要是...真的朋友會在你需要他們

  • when you really need them. If you're there for people when they need you,

    的時候支持你。如果你在別人需要你的時候在身邊陪伴,

  • that means that you're a friend indeed. So if you are a friend... If you are a friend indeed,

    代表你是患難之交。所以如果你是一個...如果你是個患難之交,

  • then you would ask your friend some questions to help them in their difficult situation.

    那你會問你的朋友幾個問題去幫助他們度過難關。

  • When your friend has a difficult situation, watch out that you don't give advice that they're not asking for

    當你的朋友在困境當中,注意當他們沒有要求時就不要給意見

  • because a lot of the time, people don't really want to hear your advice -

    因為大多數時間,人們並不是真的想要聽到你的建議

  • that's the truth maybe. If you ask someone for advice, it's different.

    那應該是事實。如果你請別人給建議,又是另一回事了。

  • I've had a couple of times in my life where someone giving advice is that probably

    我人生中有幾次經歷,遇到給了朋友建議之後,反而讓我心情更糟,

  • had the opposite effect from what they intended; the advice is not felt right or something I haven't liked

    與他們的意圖相反。也許是那些建議聽起來感覺不對或是我不喜歡的,

  • about the advice, and then it can be... Then it can be a problem.

    那這樣,好心建議就變成了問題。所以如果你對

  • So if you say to your friend who's just lost their job: "You should get down the job centre."

    一個剛失業的朋友說:『 你應該去就業中心看看有沒有新職缺 』。

  • The job centre is where you go if you haven't got... If you haven't got a job in England and you need

    就業中心就是當你失業時...如果你在英國失業但你需要

  • some money and support from the government. If you said to your friend: "You should get down the job centre",

    政府給予金錢與支持時去的地方。如果你對朋友說:"你應該去就業中心",

  • they might not... They might not be... They might not want your advice right now.

    他們可能不...他們可能不是...他們現在可能不想要聽你的建議。

  • Another way you would give your friend advice is if you said: "If I were you",

    另一個你可能給予朋友建議的方式是:『 如果我是你的話 』,

  • "If I were you, I'd go to my boss and say: 'Look, you're not going to fire me. All right?

    『 如果我是你,我會去跟我的老闆說:“聽著,你不可以開除我,知道嗎?

  • I dare you to fire me.'" Well, your friend might be like that, but this might not be something you want to do.

    你敢開除我試試看”』嗯,你的朋友可能會覺得中聽,但這可能不是你想要做的。

  • Giving direct advice.

    給他們直接的建議。

  • What should you do if giving direct advice could be a little bit difficult, a little bit tricky?

    那當你覺得給直接建議有困難、有一點微妙的時候該怎麼辦呢?

  • You could try making these indirect suggestions, a bit like this one.

    你可以試試一些間接的建議,有點像這個:

  • "Have you considered... Hmm, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. You must be feeling awful.

    『 你有想過...嗯嗯,我很遺憾聽到你丟掉工作。你一定覺得遭透了。

  • Have you considered calling your colleagues that you used to work with to tell them that

    你有考慮打給舊同事,告訴他們

  • you're looking for a job now?" Or: "Have you thought about... Too bad you lost your job.

    你正在找新工作嗎?』或者:『 你有想過...你丟了工作真是太難過了。

  • Have you thought about becoming a movie star?" You could indirectly advise your friend to do that.

    你有想過成為一個電影明星嗎?』你可以間接的建議你朋友那樣做。

  • The main... The main reason it would be better to make your suggestion like this is that

    主要的...給予間接建議之所以比較好的主要原因是由於

  • this avoids giving condescending, or patronising, or unsympathetic advice to someone.

    這樣可以避免讓人感到你散發一種優越感,或高人一等,或是給予沒有同情心的建議。

  • These are long words, but they're not that... They're not that complicated.

    這些字都有些長,但它們並不是...它們並沒有那麼複雜。

  • "Condescending", is like imagine you're in this situation: you've just lost your job and somebody says to you:

    『 高高在上的』以想像下面的情境來說明:你丟了工作,而某人對你說:

  • "Why don't you start looking for jobs on the internet?" That would be a little bit condescending.

    『 你怎麼不開始在網路上找新工作?』這就態度有點高傲了。

  • Right? Because you know... You know how to look for a job. What if they said to you:

    對吧?因為你知道...你知道怎麼找工作。又如果他們對你說:

  • "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll eventually get something. I mean you don't have many qualifications,

    『 別擔心,我相信你最後一定會找到工作。我是說你也許沒有很多條件

  • but you'll probably get something eventually"? That might be patronising;

    但你最終很有可能會有所收獲的 』,這就有點瞧不起人了。

  • your friend is seeing themselves as: "It didn't take me long to get a job, but, you know, after a few months,

    你的朋友覺得他們自己是:『我沒有花太多時間就找到了工作,但,你知道,過了幾個月後

  • you'll probably get something. You can work your way up." That would be patronising.

    你可能就會有工作了啦。你會找到出路的』。 這就有點令人感覺高高在上。

  • And "unsympathetic" would be like: "Oh, you lost your job. Oh, yeah. So, do you want to go out now?"

    而『沒同情心』會像是:『喔,你丟工作了喔。喔,對啦。所以,你現在想要出去嗎?』

  • Unsympathetic is somebody not listening to you.

    沒同情心就是沒在聽你說話。

  • So what else can you do? If you're in this situation, you can share your experience with your friend.

    那,你還能怎麼做?如果你處於這狀況,你可以分享你的經驗給你的朋友。

  • Share your feelings and the kind of things that you've been through in your life.

    與你的朋友分享你的感受,和你人生中所經歷過的事情。

  • So here's some sentences: "When I was made redundant it was a big shock."

    所以這邊列了一些句子:『當我被解雇時我十分震驚。』

  • What does it mean to "be made redundant"? This is when your company decides that some people

    什麼叫做『 be made redundant 』?這是當你的公司決定讓某些人

  • are going to get fired, some people will lose their job,

    資遣、開除,有人會丟工作,

  • but it's not always because you didn't perform well at your job; it's just the company decision: 10 people have to go,

    但並非總是因為工作上表現的不好才會這樣,這就只是公司決策:有10位員工必須離職,

  • you're someone who's going and they pay you, generally, when you're made redundant.

    你是其中一位要被資遣的員工,他們會付你錢,一般而言,當你被解雇時。

  • So when you share your experience with someone, that makes them see that

    所以當你和某人分享你的經驗的時候,那讓他們好像看見

  • maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel. There's another idiom that maybe things will be better.

    隧道口可能有一到曙光般。這有另一個表達事情會有轉機的慣用語。

  • They don't seem good now, but maybe things will be better after.

    事情現在看起來不明朗,但也許後來會比較好。

  • Here's another example: "When Sally lost her job she took the opportunity to retrain."

    這有另一個例子:『 當莎利丟了他的工作,她把握機會再去受訓練。』

  • If someone's feeling bad, they might just be focusing on the negatives like:

    如果某人心情不好,他們可能就只會關注消極的部分像是:

  • "Oh, I'm never going to work again. It's awful. I love that job."

    『 喔,我永遠不會再工作了。好糟,我好喜歡那份工作。』

  • But then they just might be talking too negatively, so you can make... You can make a suggestion.

    但是他們可能只是講的太負面。這時你可以...你可以作出一個提議。

  • You can share an experience that shows that from change can come something good.

    你可以分享改變可以帶來一些好事情的經驗。

  • And here's another example: "At first I was anxious"-talking about when I lost my job-

    這有另一例:『 一開始我覺得焦慮 』,在我訴說我失業的事情時,

  • "but I soon saw that it was a blessing in disguise."

    『 但我很快就發現這是因禍得福。 』

  • And that's the idiom or expression for when something seems bad, but in the end, it was the best thing that could possibly happen.

    而這個片語或用法是用在事情看起來不好的時候,但最後,那是可能發生的最美好的事了。

  • When we come back, we will just look at a couple other phrases we can use for this situation.

    休息一下,回來之後,我們會來看其他幾個可以用在這情境的片語。

  • Let's take a look at what to say to your friend who is down in the dumps, feeling a bit sad because they lost their job.

    我們看一下對於丟了工作而陷入泥沼中的朋友,因為失業而心情低落。

  • What else can we say? So you could offer your support or help.

    我們還能說什麼呢?你可以表示支持或提供幫助。

  • So here's some phrases you could say: "Let me know if there's anything I can do."

    這有幾個片語你可以用:『 如果有任何我能幫得上忙的地方請告訴我。』

  • That's a very sweet offer for your friend who needs some help right now.

    這是當你朋友需要幫忙時聽起來格外窩心的一句話。

  • Or you could say simply: "I'm here for you if you need anything."

    或你可以就說:『 你需要的話就跟我說一聲,我隨時都在。』

  • What about reassuring your friend? "Reassurance" means saying like a positive message to them

    那如何讓你的朋友安定心情呢?『 Reassurance 』是指說一些正面的話

  • so that maybe they feel more hopeful about the future.

    好讓他們感到對未來抱有希望。

  • "Don't worry, everything will be ok." What do you think about that one? Yeah, I think like in general,

    『 別擔心,事情會好轉的。 』你覺得那句怎麼樣?是的,我認為大致上來說,

  • eventually everything will be okay. But some people might not really like your reassurance

    最終一切都會好轉的。但某些人可能會不喜歡你的保證,

  • because it might... Everything might seem really, really, really bleak

    因為那可能... 全部的事情可能都看起來非常、非常、非常的黯淡,

  • and it might also sometimes feel like you don't want to talk about their problem if you just say: "Everything will be okay."

    而且如果你只有說:『 一切都會好轉 』的話,他們可能有時也覺得你好像不想談論他們的問題

  • So perhaps... Perhaps a better one to say is: "Something will come up.",

    所以或許...或許比較好的方式是說:『 事情會有轉機的 』,

  • "Something will come up" just means that, you know, a new opportunity; you won't have to wait too long,

    『 事情會有轉機 』就只是說,你知道,會有新的機會,你不需要等太久,

  • something else will come up for you. The phrasal verb, "come up" means to happen or arise, more formally.

    事情自然會找上你。片語動詞『 come up 』意思是發生或升起,比較正式。

  • So you can turn that sad face into a happy face. But we can't say:

    所以你可以讓他們的苦瓜臉稍微擠出一點笑容。但我們卻要避免說:

  • "Up in the dumps." It doesn't work.

    『 Up in the dumps (開心點) 』這是行不通的。

  • So, yeah, so sometimes if you... If you've been talking to a friend for a while

    所以,是的,有時如果你..如果你已經跟一個朋友聊了一段時間

  • and they're just going on a bit now and, you know, they're all sad and crying or something -

    而他們但是有些狀況,你知道,像是他們全陷在悲傷情緒、哭泣等等,

  • what can you do then? Well, you might consider making a joke of the situation.

    你能怎麼做?這個嘛,你可以考慮拿這個狀況開個玩笑。

  • I don't know if you do that in your culture. But in British culture, sometimes in this situation,

    我不知道那樣做在你們的文化中適不適當。但在英國文化中,有時在這種狀況,

  • someone would make a joke. And maybe at first that joke sounds quite mean,

    某些人可能會開個玩笑。而或許一開始那個笑話聽起來格外刺耳,

  • but it does something to just change the focus of the situation so... We've all been upset, someone makes a joke

    但這的確有助於轉移狀況的焦點。所以...我們都有沮喪過,當某人開了個玩笑的時候

  • and it's like: "All right, it's time to stop crying now."

    就像是:『 好吧,該停止哭哭啼啼的了 』

  • So I thought of some things people might say. They might say something like this, this is an expression or idiom.

    所以我想有些人可能會說。他們可能會這樣表達,這是一個表示或片語。

  • So your friend's just, you know, letting it all out, is upset and you could maybe knock them on the arm and say:

    如果你的朋友,大吐苦水、沮喪,你或許可以敲敲他們的手臂然後說:

  • "Cheer up worse things have happened!"

    『 開心點,更糟的事情發生過!』

  • in a sort of positive, but jokey voice at the same time. Or you could say,

    用種帶點正面、半開玩笑的口吻。或你可以說,

  • you could have a pause and say: "Yeah. Hey... Guess what? Did I tell you? I just got a promotion!"

    停頓一下然後說:『 沒錯,嘿...猜猜怎麼著?我有告訴你嗎?我剛升官!』

  • Joke. That one's a bit mean, so I maybe wouldn't advise that one.

    開玩笑的。這就有點令人討厭了,所以我比較不推薦這個。

  • That was a joke of what joke probably not what... Probably you shouldn't do. So let's call that one a bad joke.

    有些不應該開的玩笑就要避免。那個玩笑並不好。

  • What if you already knew that your friend had lost your job and stuff before you met up with them?

    那如果你在見到朋友之前就已經知道他們失業了該怎麼辦呢?

  • So you're anticipating maybe some kind of emotional situation.

    你可以預期可能會有些情緒化的狀況出現。

  • When you see your friend, you could say: "Hey. Why the long face?"

    當你見到你朋友時,你可以說: 『 嘿,幹嘛拉長著臉?』

  • That's another joke because you know that your friend is upset because they lost their job.

    那是另一種幽默的方式因為你已經知道他因為失業而沮喪。

  • When somebody's got a long face, it means they're sad, a bit like down in the dumps.

    當某人拉長著臉,那代表他們很難過,有點像愁眉苦臉。

  • So, yeah, you've got some phrases now and hopefully that can help you in the future in that kind of social situation

    所以,現在你會了一些片語,希望在未來遇到那樣的社交狀況,

  • where someone needs some help or just some kind words from you.

    如朋友需要協助或需要聽你說些親切的話時,可以派得上用場。

  • So if you want to look at this a little bit more, go to the website and have a look at the phrases on the website.

    如果你想要知道關於這個議題更多的資料,請到我們的網站看看網站上的片語。

  • We... Yeah, if you do like this lesson or my other lessons,

    我們...對,如果你喜歡這堂課或我上的其他的課程的話。

  • I'd really appreciate it if you'd subscribe to my channel and also my personal channel

    如果你們訂閱這個頻道和我的個人頻道的話,我會很感激你們。

  • because I've got two YouTube channels, so you can watch me on engVid, you can watch me on my personal channel as well.

    因為我有兩個頻道在YouTube上,所以你可以在engVid和我的個人頻道上看到我。

  • And, yes, I'm finished now so I'm going to go. All right?

    還有,今天的課已經結束所以我要走囉,好嗎?

  • Okay, see you. See you. Bye.

    好的,再見。再見,掰。

Hi, everyone. I'm Jade. What we're talking about today is saying the right thing

嗨,大家好,我是潔得。今天我們要談論的是如何在朋友心情低落、遇到問題時

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A2 初級 中文 英國腔 朋友 建議 失業 工作 片語 某人

【英語技巧】如何好好安慰朋友 (How to make someone feel better)

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    Mises   發佈於 2016 年 03 月 21 日
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