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  • We should probably talk about what's been going on in the world last four or five months because it's been a crazy time.

    我們也許應該談談過去四五個月世界上發生的事情,因為這段時間很瘋狂。

  • And, you know, maybe we start with fear because it's all really based around fear.

    而且,你知道,也許我們從恐懼開始 因為這一切都真的是基於恐懼。

  • Everything that's happened and a lot of different things have happened.

    發生的一切,發生了很多不同的事情。

  • But there's something that you say I'm going to quote something you said before and you said Quote during my time is a monk.

    但是有一些東西,你說我要引用你以前說過的話,你說在我的時間裡引用是一個和尚。

  • I learned to lose my fear of fear so that instead of allowing it to motivate me in negative ways, such as avoiding punishment, humiliation or failure, I'm now able to recognize the opportunities that fear signals.

    我學會了失去對恐懼的恐懼,從而不再讓它以消極的方式激勵我,比如逃避懲罰、羞辱或失敗,現在我能夠認識到恐懼所發出的機會。

  • I'm curious about how you got that relationship with fear, Onda.

    我很好奇你是怎麼和恐懼扯上關係的,昂達。

  • How you can process it because, you know, we live in a brand new world now with fear.

    你如何處理它,因為,你知道,我們現在生活在一個全新的世界裡,恐懼。

  • Yes, absolutely.

    是的,絕對的。

  • And and first of all, I just want to say and I mean this, that what the world has experienced in the last 5 to 6 months is such an extreme test off tolerance and our ability to be resilient on ability.

    首先,我想說的是,我是認真的,世界在過去5到6個月裡所經歷的一切,是對我們的容忍度和應變能力的極端考驗。

  • Thio overcome fear that if anyone feels that they have not held it together, they shouldn't judge themselves because it's almost like you can't.

    Thio克服恐懼,如果有人覺得自己沒有堅持下來,就不應該責備自己,因為這幾乎是你不能。

  • You can't take the hardest test of all time and expect to come out passing flying colors without any preparation before her.

    你不能在她之前沒有任何準備的情況下,參加最難的考試,並期望能順利通過。

  • And so, if anything, what should happen for us instead of feeling guilty and sad about not responding in a perfect way, whatever that is, we should actually feel encouraged that now is the time to go in with that.

    所以,如果說,對我們來說,應該發生的事情,而不是因為沒有以一種完美的方式迴應而感到內疚和悲傷,不管那是什麼,我們實際上應該感到鼓舞,現在是時候進去了。

  • Now is the time to build up those skills that we should become prepared when we least expect it, because who knows what is out there?

    現在是培養這些技能的時候了,我們應該在最不經意的時候做好準備,因為誰知道外面有什麼?

  • And so the preparation my favorite example from the Bamberg eateries of off Arjun, who's a warrior and a fighter.

    所以準備我最喜歡的例子,從班貝格食堂的關阿俊,他是一個戰士和鬥士。

  • It's almost like the fighter doesn't go on the battlefield and hope that they have the skills they train every single day, so that when the battle appears that they're ready.

    這就好比戰士不上戰場,希望自己每天訓練的技能,在戰鬥出現的時候,就能做好準備。

  • What's happened in all of our lives is we've had zero training in zero preparation and all of a sudden you're thrown into this battlefield.

    我們一生中發生的事情就是我們在零準備的情況下接受了零訓練,突然間你就被扔到了這個戰場上。

  • And of course, none of us can completely hold it together.

    當然,我們誰也不能完全堅持下去。

  • So for me, I see it is more of a wake up call on a cry to all of us to say Please use your time to feel prepared.

    所以對我來說,我看這更多的是一種警醒,對我們所有人的一種呼喚,說請用你的時間去感受準備。

  • Thio.

    Thio.

  • Feel ready, Thio.

    準備好了, Thio.

  • Grow and invest in yourself so that next time, no matter what it is that comes our way, that you're prepared and you have the quality to stay still.

    成長,投資自己,這樣下一次,無論遇到什麼事情,我們都會做好準備,你才會有靜止不動的品質。

  • That's that's the first thing I'd start with.

    這就是我首先要做的事情。

  • But how you started with fear when you start that training is that the first thing that fear does is it should hopefully connect you to wanting to build up the skills to deal with that fear.

    但是當你開始那個訓練的時候,你是如何開始恐懼的,就是恐懼的第一件事,應該是希望你能連接到想要建立起應對恐懼的技能。

  • But actually a lot of our responses, as we know through psychology and I talk about them in the book.

    但其實我們的很多反應,我們通過心理學就知道了,我在書中也談到了。

  • A lot of our responses are we freeze, we get stuck, right, we go.

    我們很多人的反應是我們凍住了,我們卡住了,對,我們走了。

  • Okay, I'm stuck or we run away.

    好吧,我被卡住了,否則我們就跑路。

  • We run away and we try and avoid these issues or we bury ourselves and we try and forget about.

    我們逃避,我們試圖避免這些問題,或者我們埋葬自己,我們試圖忘記這些問題。

  • And so our responses to fear what we don't realize create more fear because you only become more fearful about something.

    所以我們對恐懼的反應我們沒有意識到的東西會造成更多的恐懼,因為你只會對一些東西更加恐懼。

  • The less you know about, because the less you know about it means there's more unknown.

    你知道的越少,因為你知道的越少,意味著未知的東西越多。

  • Why do we fear the darkness?

    我們為什麼害怕黑暗?

  • Because it's unknown.

    因為它是未知的。

  • Why do we fear what's beyond our solar system because we don't know.

    為什麼我們害怕太陽系以外的東西,因為我們不知道。

  • It's when we don't know that we're in fear.

    當我們不知道的時候,我們才會害怕。

  • If you are playing a team in another sport and you don't know their strength, you feel fearful.

    如果你和其他運動隊比賽,你不知道他們的實力,你會感到恐懼。

  • If you're about to walk into a tourist destination and you don't know the ins and outs of it, you'll feel fear because it's an unknown place.

    如果你即將走進一個旅遊景點,而你又不知道它的來龍去脈,你會感到恐懼,因為這是一個未知的地方。

  • So it's crazy to me that we remain in a state off, unknowing this in our own lives and emotions because we feel scared of actually getting intimate with our fear.

    所以我覺得很瘋狂,我們在自己的生活和情感中仍然處於一種關、不知情的狀態,因為我們覺得害怕真正與恐懼親密接觸。

  • We get scared of being present and close toe our fear, and that's what we try and put fear to the back of our minds.

    我們會害怕自己的存在,害怕接近自己的恐懼,這就是我們試圖把恐懼放在腦後的原因。

  • We try and run away from it.

    我們試圖逃避它。

  • So the first thing to do is when you feel that there's something that you're scared off or upset about.

    所以,首先要做的就是當你覺得有什麼事情被嚇跑了,或者不高興了。

  • Ah, common example is how we all avoid conflict.

    啊,常見的例子就是我們都在避免衝突。

  • No one likes tough conversation on.

    沒有人喜歡強硬的談話上。

  • What I started to do was, rather than trying to run away from tough conversations, Andi, try and find excuses and answers.

    我開始做的是,而不是試圖逃避艱難的對話,安迪,試著尋找藉口和答案。

  • I would try and find the easiest option in the beginning for me to just come out and share the truth or where I was at with it.

    我會在一開始的時候,儘量找一個最簡單的方案,讓我直接出來分享真相或者是我的處境。

  • A good example.

    一個很好的例子。

  • Finally, enough is today's podcast.

    終於,夠了,就是今天的播客。

  • So I was late for today's podcast for a legitimate reason because I'm working with someone and they needed my time on my fear response was, Oh, God, Brian is gonna be so upset.

    所以我今天的播客遲到了,因為我正在和某人合作,他們需要我的時間,我的恐懼反應是,哦,上帝,布萊恩會很難過。

  • His teams, like waited, lay in London.

    他的隊伍,就像等待,躺在倫敦。

  • We could just make up an excuse to to make them all feel better and and, you know, just patch it all up.

    我們可以編個藉口讓他們都感覺好點 然後,你知道,把一切都補上。

  • And I was like, No, I'm not gonna take that option.

    我當時想,不,我不會採取這種方式。

  • I'm gonna call up James, and I'm gonna tell him exactly what happened.

    我要打電話給詹姆斯, 我要告訴他到底發生了什麼。

  • Be really honest about it.

    要真正的坦誠相待。

  • I'm gonna face it because that's the best I can do.

    我要去面對它,因為這是我能做的最好的。

  • And actually that relieves all of us of any pressure and stress and whether you take it the right way the wrong way, that's not my, uh, it's not my responsibility or it's not my decision for how you respond, because that is your own mind, and that is your own decision.

    而實際上,這減輕了我們所有人的任何壓力和壓力,無論你採取的是正確的方式還是錯誤的方式,這都不是我的,呃,這不是我的責任,也不是我決定你如何迴應,因為這是你自己的想法,這是你自己的決定。

  • But I need to get close to my fear.

    但我需要接近我的恐懼。

  • So the first thing I'd say is when you have a fear response instead of running away from it or trying to figure out how to get away from it or avoid it.

    所以我想說的第一件事是當你有恐懼反應時,而不是逃避它,或者想辦法擺脫它或避免它。

  • Ask yourself what?

    問自己什麼?

  • Um, I truly fearful are where is this fear coming from?

    嗯,我真正害怕的是這種恐懼從何而來?

  • And continue to ask yourself when you come up with a fear and I call it the Wild ladder in the book when you come up with a fear.

    而且當你遇到恐懼的時候,還要繼續問自己,當你遇到恐懼的時候,我把它叫做書中的野梯子。

  • So I give the example in the book that, you know, let's take a more common example.

    所以我在書中舉例說,你知道,我們舉一個比較常見的例子。

  • So you may say I am fearful off coverted, and that's a very normal fear toe Have nothing wrong with it.

    所以你可能會說我害怕被遮蓋,那是一種很正常的恐懼,腳趾沒有任何問題。

  • And I think that's the other problem.

    我想這是另一個問題。

  • We think our fears air wrong, so then we don't want to get intimate with them.

    我們認為自己的恐懼是錯誤的,所以就不想和他們親密接觸。

  • But I would say, Okay, well, why are you afraid of covert?

    但我會說,好吧,你為什麼怕隱蔽?

  • And you may say I'm afraid because I might lose my job and you say, OK, why are you afraid of losing your job?

    你可能會說我害怕,因為我可能會失業,你說,好吧,你為什麼害怕失業?

  • Because I need to pay the bills and I need to take care of my family.

    因為我需要支付賬單,我需要照顧我的家庭。

  • Why do you think that paying the bills is what's going to take care of your family and you know everything else because I need to put food on the table.

    為什麼你認為支付賬單是什麼 要照顧你的家人,你知道其他的一切,因為我需要把食物在桌子上。

  • Why do you need to put food on the table?

    為什麼要把食物放在桌子上?

  • Because I want my family to feel loved and cared for and nourished.

    因為我想讓我的家人感受到被愛、被關心、被滋養。

  • Why do you want your family to feel loved and cared for nourished?

    為什麼要讓家人感受到愛與關懷的滋潤?

  • Because I love them?

    因為我愛他們?

  • And then you realize, Wait a minute.

    然後你意識到,等一下。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • They're really looking for his love.

    他們真的在尋找他的愛。

  • And if I can even in this pain choose to give them love, then I'm actually giving them what they need.

    如果我在這種痛苦中都能選擇給他們愛,那我其實就是在給他們需要的東西。

  • And now I'll find all the ways to make the money, figure out my business, get food on the table and do that.

    而現在,我會想盡一切辦法去賺錢,想辦法去經營,讓食物上桌,去做這些。

  • But if I really realized that what I'm scared off is that Cove, it is going to stop me from giving love to my family.

    但如果我真的意識到我害怕的是那個庫夫,那就要阻止我給家人的愛了。

  • And that's actually not true.

    而實際上並非如此。

  • You can give love to your family, and then hopefully in that stress, free of like letting go of that, you actually give yourself the energy to go and figure out the other stuff.

    你可以把愛給你的家人,然後希望在這種壓力下,自由自在的喜歡放手,其實你給自己的能量去解決其他的東西。

  • And so I'm not saying that losing your job means you could just do this activity and you'll be free of fear.

    所以我並不是說失去工作就意味著你可以只做這個活動,你就可以不用害怕了。

  • What I'm saying is that it's your fear that's blocking you from finding the focus to solve the situation.

    我想說的是,是你的恐懼阻礙了你找到解決問題的重點。

  • On doing this, while a direct ladder exercise actually helps you realize what you think you're being blocked from.

    在做這件事的時候,而直接的階梯式練習其實是幫助你意識到你認為自己被阻擋的東西。

  • But usually that's right within your control.

    但通常這是在你的控制範圍內。

  • Nothing is blocking you wild my wife while stop my wife.

    沒有什麼是阻擋你野我老婆而阻止我老婆的。

We should probably talk about what's been going on in the world last four or five months because it's been a crazy time.

我們也許應該談談過去四五個月世界上發生的事情,因為這段時間很瘋狂。

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失去恐懼:過去6個月世界面臨的是對人性的極端考驗 (LOSING MY FEAR: What The World Has Faced In The Last 6 Months Has Been An Extreme Test Of Humanity)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 09 月 16 日
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