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  • Bruh, I can't wait to party hard tonight while wearing a mask...and standing six feet apart.

    兄弟,我等不及參加今晚戴著口罩、大家都站離彼此相距六英呎...的「趴體」。

  • Dude, why even bother? I might as well just study.

    兄弟,幹嘛擔心這個?我還是讀書實在。

  • The school plan on testing and contact tracing is not very clear.

    學校對檢驗和接觸追蹤的計畫不是很明確。

  • However, they did give me a mini bottle of hand sanitizer, as well as a mask with the school logo on it, so I think it's safe to say they're pretty serious about this.

    但他們確實有給我一罐迷你乾洗手,和一個印著校徽的口罩,所以我想他們應該蠻認真看待這件事的。

  • What did I do over the summer?

    這個夏天我做了什麼?

  • I kept it pretty simple.

    我過得蠻簡單的。

  • I mean, I made a me-shaped indent in my bed, walked between my room and the kitchen several times just to get some exercise.

    我的意思是,我在床上壓了一個我的凹痕,還在房間跟廚房之間走了幾回,就為了運動一下。

  • I averaged about 89 steps a day.

    我一天走大概 89 步。

  • I even went to Wegmans a few times, which was really exciting.

    我還去過 Wegmans 幾次,超級令人興奮的。

  • All right, I got my keys, wallet, laptop, ready to go to class.

    好了,鑰匙、皮夾、筆電都帶了,準備好去上課了。

  • And I nearly forgot my mask.

    差點忘記我的口罩。

  • Haha, not today, Satan.

    哈!我的死期未到,撒旦老兄。

  • We went over the syllabus today in class, I think.

    我們今天上課在講課程大綱...大概吧。

  • I'm not really sure, because it was really hard to understand the professor through the mask and the face shield and the plexiglass barrier.

    我不太確定,因為教授隔著口罩、防護面罩跟樹脂玻璃隔板說話,真的很難聽懂。

  • Hopefully, she never tells us anything we need to understand.

    幸好,她從來沒有告訴我們任何需要了解的東西。

  • I couldn't focus at all in class today 'cause the guy sitting next to me had his nose sticking out of his mask.

    我今天完全無法專注在課堂上,因為坐在我旁邊的人把鼻子露在口罩外面。

  • He might as well have been there with his dingle hanging out, that's how distracting it was.

    他可能連他的人中都外露了,你就知道有多令人分心了。

  • Dang, all my classes are on Zoom, and I'm still late every day.

    該死,我所有的課都在 Zoom 上,但我還是天天遲到。

  • The dating scene here isn't so hot.

    這裡的約會打得不是那麼火熱。

  • The most action I've gotten is when the nurse shoved the swab up my nose to test for COVID.

    我最常被對待的方式是護理師用棉花棒塞進我的鼻子,就為了化驗冠狀病毒。

  • It was like she was trying to swab my brain.

    那感覺像是她想把棉花棒插進我的腦袋。

  • You might say it was an intimate experience.

    你可能會說這是一個很親密的經歷...

  • I met this girl at the student union building today.

    今天我在學生會大樓遇到了這個女生。

  • She was super cute.

    她超級可愛。

  • At least from here up, I mean, that's the thing about masks.

    至少上半部是這樣啦,我是說,因為她戴著口罩。

  • You could be chatting up this girl you think is an eight, underneath the mask, turns out she's a four.

    你可能以為你正在跟一個 8 分的女孩聊天,但口罩底下,她只有 4 分。

  • Wait, where did you say you were from?

    等等,你說你是從哪來的?

  • [Man Offscreen] Florida.

    [螢幕外的男子] 佛羅里達。

  • Oh (beep), I gotta go, sorry.

    喔 X,我要閃人了,抱歉。

  • Uh...

    痾...

  • Bye.

    掰。

  • I gotta figure out a way that I can build, like, a plastic bubble for me to live in, because this campus is disgusting.

    我要想出一個可以讓我打造類似塑膠泡泡,讓我能住在裡面的方法,因為這個校園超噁。

  • On my way to my 9:00 AM class, I saw this chick puke in a trash can.

    在我要去上早九課的路上,我看到一位辣妹在垃圾桶裡吐了。

  • She couldn't get her mask off in time.

    她來不及把口罩拿下來。

  • I still see it when I close my eyes.

    我閉眼的時候還是能看到那個畫面。

  • This is, like, the worst time ever to be a Drama major.

    這是最不適合讀戲劇系的一段時間了。

  • Like, who wants to see a socially distanced "Romeo and Juliet"?

    就是...誰會想看保持社交距離的《羅密歐與茱麗葉》?

  • Instead of kissing, they just bump elbows.

    他們不是親吻,而是碰手肘欸。

  • It's not even textually supported.

    這樣甚至跟文本不符合。

  • Plus, in this day and age, it's gonna be so much harder to get the job that this degree is preparing me for: waiting tables.

    再加上,如今要找工作變得更困難,這個學位為我準備的工作只有:服務生。

  • I'd love to hang out with you guys, but what's the distance situation looking like tonight?

    我很想跟你們出去,但今晚的社交距離狀況會是怎麼樣的?

  • Is it gonna be six feet apart, or is it gonna be, like, clearly within arm's length of each other?

    是會相距六英呎嗎,還是相距一臂之內?

  • Like, would we be able to pee on each other?

    我們能夠互相撒尿嗎?

  • I'm not saying I want to do that, I just read somewhere, that's kind of a way that you can judge are you far enough apart.

    我不是說我想這麼做,我只是從某個地方看到,這是一種能夠評斷是否相距夠遠的方法。

  • Yeah, I know it's disgusting, I didn't make it up.

    我知道這很噁心,但這不是我捏造的。

  • I know, I was just drinking beer by myself in my room last night, but I'm still worried that this might be COVID and not a hangover.

    我知道我昨晚是一個人在房間喝啤酒,但我還是很擔心我這可能是冠狀病毒,而不是宿醉。

  • I mean, headache, fatigue? This could be it, man.

    我是說,頭痛跟疲憊欸,很有可能吧!

  • I've got so much left to give.

    我還有很多能夠付出的。

  • Hey, this isn't one of those COVID parties, is it?

    嘿,這應該不是冠狀病毒派對,對吧?

  • This is exactly how I pictured the best four years of my life.

    這正是我對人生中,最棒的四年的想像。

  • Yeah, woohoo.

    耶...嗚呼...

  • College.

    大學。

  • (phone dings)

    [電話鈴聲]

  • And the rest of the semester has just been canceled.

    剩下的學期剛剛被取消了。

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Bruh, I can't wait to party hard tonight while wearing a mask...and standing six feet apart.

兄弟,我等不及參加今晚戴著口罩、大家都站離彼此相距六英呎...的「趴體」。

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好期待開學新生活!2020 年的校園生活卻是… (College in 2020 Be Like...)

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    Seraya 發佈於 2020 年 09 月 14 日
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