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  • You know that feeling when no one's cancelled for tonight

  • so you have to go out?

  • [sobbing] [Bach's 'Toccata and Fugue in D minor' plays]

  • Ooh, this color is nice.

  • Yeah, staying in is the new going out - you heard me, I'm not wrong.

  • But anyway, what's worse than having committed to leaving your house for the evening is stalking your ex.

  • Stop. Stalking. Your. Ex.

  • I know I'm one to talk. I am guilty of stalking all of my exes.

  • Even the ones that I no longer care about anymore. Sometimes I do it just to be like:

  • "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad that's over."

  • "Oh, and he got rid of that ugly couch, good for him!"

  • Sometimes, I do it to remind myself of how far I've come.

  • I've been alone for a long time.

  • You'll get this joke the third time you watch it.

  • But six months ago, I did it how most of us do it.

  • As a form of torture, as a way to hang on to the past and pine

  • And reinforce all of my terrible feelings.

  • And it's like, why are we doing this to ourselves?!

  • What could you possibly find that would make you feel better?

  • Okay, maybe like a clutch cat meme but like what else?

  • Do you think you're gonna find a video of them saying that they miss you?

  • A subtweet that indicates that they've made a horrible mistake?

  • A Facebook post reminiscing on an old photo of you both?

  • No, because no-one uses Facebook anymore except for event planning,

  • which is why I avoid it at all costs.

  • [sobbing] Why did I click attending? Why did I even log on?

  • I thought Facebook was this desolate place for our parents and relics from another time!

  • If they wanted to reach out, they would.

  • If they wanted to be with you, they would.

  • But they don't, and they're not.

  • And you need to stop checking their social media.

  • And I'm only making this video because now I am tired of torturing myself

  • So I'm holding you and me accountable and we're just not gonna do it anymore.

  • "But Anna, I only check my ex's page when I --"

  • No! Stalking your ex is like drinking poison and expecting them to die.

  • Not only is it stupid, but clearly you don't know how poison works, because guess what?

  • Poison's bad!

  • If stalking your ex on social media was poison, would'ya still do it?

  • - [sobs] Why did you keep refreshing? [sob] Why?

  • - [coughs] [wheeze] I knew that I shouldn't. But he curated such solid memes.

  • - [cries] - [cough] [phlegm-y cough]

  • I think it's time for me to go.

  • - I don't want you to go. - [wheeze] I have one last request.

  • - Anything!

  • - When I die...

  • ...please donate my bones to dogs.

  • - Wait, what? - I just wanna be with good boys.

  • I just want my final resting place to be...

  • with good boys.

  • [long exhale]

  • [sobbing]Wow this is taking a long time.

  • [confused sobs]

  • [exhale continues] Oh wait it's not done.

  • For real though. I mean, we donate our organs to humans

  • So like why don't we donate our bones to dogs?

  • Anyway, just don't stalk your ex.

  • It extends your grief, prevents your healing

  • and reinforces your neural pathways in a pattern of rumination which causes depression and anxiety.

  • Plus, I mean we're all showing our best face on social media

  • so you're misinterpreting something through a lens that is already very biased and skewed.

  • I could go on and on, but we know it's a bad idea.

  • So let's just stop torturing ourselves, okay?

  • Block, mute, unfollow, unlike, unsubscribe, undo, undo, undo.

  • I'm Anna Akana, we're gonna get through this, baby.

  • Also thank you to ExpressVPN for sponsoring today's video.

  • I love and use VPNs for several reasons.

  • First off, and most importantly: enhanced security.

  • People are constantly trying to hack into my accounts whether it's social media sites

  • my bank, or my iCloud.

  • Spoiler alert, hackers! The only pussy pics I have on there are my five cats.

  • And secondly, I travel a lot for work

  • So VPNs allow me to beat location based streaming restrictions

  • Or just use the internet if I'm in a country with an oppressive government

  • that doesn't allow me to access information

  • [cough] China.

  • But VPNs also provide a variety of services

  • such as improved online gaming speeds, automatic encryption on everything,

  • and online anonymity in case you do want to keep stalking.

  • You can get ExpressVPN for only $7 a month with a 30 day money back guarantee.

  • You can take back your internet privacy today

  • and find out how to get 3 months for free by clicking the link in the description box below.

  • ExpressVPN.com/Anna

  • That's ExpressVPN.com/Anna to learn more.

  • Take back your privacy today.

  • And don't stalk your ex, I was just kidding. Don't do it.

You know that feeling when no one's cancelled for tonight

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B1 中級 美國腔

不要再跟蹤你的前男友了 (Stop stalking your ex)

  • 41 1
    nico 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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