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  • To being single forever and ever.

    敬永遠單身。

  • And ever.

    永遠。

  • What video is this?

    這部影片是關於什麼?

  • [Drunk single people review - Valentine's day gifts]

    [喝醉的單身者對情人節禮物的評論。]

  • Today we are reviewing Valentine's Day gifts and we are not qualified to do so.

    今天我們要評論情人節禮物,但其實我們沒有資格。

  • I am as the people say alone but not lonely.

    我就是人們所說的——單身卻不孤單。

  • I am alone and a little bit lonely sometimes.

    我單身,而且有時有點孤單。

  • I'm just ready to cry.

    我快要哭了。

  • This got so sad.

    這太令人感到悲傷了。

  • We are an objective party here to tell you how dumb your gifts are to each other.

    我們代表客觀的那方,在這裡告訴你們,你們送給對方的禮物有多蠢。

  • [Wine & Roses]

    [紅酒&玫瑰花]

  • Oh, a dozen long-stem roses.

    噢,十二朵長莖玫瑰花。

  • Flowers always smell nice.

    花朵總是聞起來很香。

  • They do smell good.

    它們聞起來是很香沒錯。

  • But also kind of smell like a funeral home.

    但是花朵也聞起來像殯儀館。

  • What are you doing, Kelsey?

    Kelsey,你在做什麼!

  • I was going to do she loves me, she loves me not.

    我想用花瓣猜她是否愛我。

  • If you just give me some flowers, that's enough.

    如果只送我幾朵花,我就滿足了。

  • She loves me, she loves me not...

    她愛我,她不愛我...

  • You went, you got the flowers.

    留下花束後,你就走了!

  • You thought of me.

    至少你有想到我。

  • - That's really sweet. - You bought them.

    - 好甜蜜。- 花是你親自買的。

  • She loves me.

    她愛我。

  • Uh, oh It went in my wine.

    噢,花瓣掉進我的紅酒裡了。

  • Just in general, send your friend flowers, why not?

    在一般情況下,送花給朋友有什麼不對?

  • I'm going to drunk send all of my friends flowers.

    我要醉到送花給我所有的朋友了。

  • - She loves me not... - I'm on the edge of my seat.

    - 她不愛我... - 我現在坐立難安。

  • She loves me.

    她愛我。

  • Fucking surprise!

    真令人驚訝!

  • Wow, Wow.

    哇哇。

  • Surprise, surprise.

    真是意想不到。

  • If she brought me wine and flowers, I'm probably going to give it up.

    如果有人送我紅酒和花,我可能會轉送給別人。

  • [Box of Chocolates]

    [一盒巧克力]

  • Oh, I see chocolate.

    我看到巧克力了!

  • It has a fucking cat on it.

    上面竟然有隻貓咪!

  • Thanks, but you don't love me.

    謝謝你,但是你不愛我。

  • Yes, it's going straight to my hips.

    沒錯,會讓我屁股變大的食物。

  • The one thing I don't like about these chocolates is that you don't know what you're getting.

    我不喜歡這些巧克力的原因是,你不知道你會吃到哪一種口味。

  • And then, I try it and I'm like...

    我吃了一顆,然後覺得...

  • This gift tells me, ohhh kind of forgot that I had to do something for Valentine's Day so I'm going to get this.

    這禮物給我的感覺,嗯,有點像是我不知道情人節要幹嘛,所以才買巧克力。

  • This is more acceptable for me in milkshake form or milk form.

    我比較能接受的是奶昔或是牛奶。

  • If you got me chocolate milk for Valentine's Day, that would be awesome.

    如果你在情人節送我巧克力牛奶,那會棒極了。

  • This would be a no for me dawg.

    老兄,巧克力對我來說是不過關的禮物。

  • That being said, I'm gonna have another.

    話雖如此,我還要再吃另外一個。

  • Yeah I'm hungry.

    我好餓。

  • Actually, this is all delicious, you know what, I take it back.

    老實說這些很好吃,我要收回我的話。

  • This is a f**king dope gift.

    這禮物真棒。

  • If you gave me this, I would laugh a lot.

    如果你送我這個,我會笑瘋。

  • And I would wear these with you as a joke one time and then we would never use them again.

    我會把這當作笑話跟你一起穿一次,然後就再也不會碰它們。

  • With four leg holes?

    有四個洞的內褲?

  • This is hilarious.

    這太搞笑了。

  • We're going to try it on?

    我們要試穿看看嗎?

  • This is happening.

    我們要試穿了。

  • This is incredible.

    太不可思議了。

  • No!

    不!

  • This is not sexy.

    這一點都不性感。

  • Two people can't comfortably fit in this.

    兩個人一起穿這個是不可能感到舒服的。

  • A boner, a nice ass and two human bodies can not comfortably fit in here.

    勃起、完美的屁股和兩個人體,是不可能舒服地套在這件內褲裡。

  • - Where do you put your hands? - I can't, I can not put my hands.

    - 手該放在哪裡?-我沒有辦法放我的手。

  • - How does it look? Let's give it a twirl. - There's no way to not be sexy with this.

    - 看起來如何?我們來轉圈圈。- 穿這個不可能性感的!

  • Ohh, yeah.

    噢,耶。

  • Zach, no wonder we're single.

    Zach,難怪我們兩個都單身。

  • I know.

    我知道。

  • - Look at the dumb shit that we do. - I know.

    - 看看我們做的蠢事。- 我知道。

  • Joke gifts would be awesome.

    惡搞的趣味禮物很棒。

  • If my girlfriend got me a joke gift, I'd love it.

    如果我的女友送我惡搞的趣味禮物,我會愛死。

  • Now I'm like a baby joey.

    我像是一隻袋鼠寶寶。

  • I'm like a baby kangaroo.

    我像是一隻袋鼠寶寶。

  • It starts off silly.

    一開始覺得這樣很蠢。

  • But if I was going to have sex with Zach right now, I'd be having the most fun sex I could have.

    但如果我現在要跟 Zach 上床的話,那會是最有趣的一次性行為。

  • That's the most action I've gotten all year.

    這是我今年為止活動最多的一次。

  • Same.

    我也是。

  • [Nicholas Sparks 4-Pack]

    [尼可拉斯·史派克四部曲 DVD]

  • Love this movie.

    我愛死這部電影。

  • The Notebook?

    《手札情緣》?

  • Yes.

    沒錯。

  • The Notebook is great, but you don't do a four pack.

    《手札情緣》很棒,但你不會看四部一組的電影啊!

  • I'm sorry but who has a DVD player any more?

    抱歉,但現在誰家有 DVD 播放器?

  • This isn't for Valentine's Day.

    這不是在情人節時看的。

  • This is for single people.

    這是給單身狗看的。

  • This is for us.

    這是我們要看的。

  • This is what we should watch.

    這是我們該看的!

  • He built her a house.

    男主角為女主角蓋了一棟房子。

  • And yet some people still don't watch my Instagram stories.

    然而,有些人甚至不看我的限時動態。

  • Maybe we just don't like movies that much.

    或許只是因為我們不那麼喜歡電影。

  • No, I like movies, but you gonna take me to a movie and not get me a movie.

    不,我喜歡電影,但是你要帶我去看電影,而不是買 DVD 給我。

  • This is a threat.

    這是恐嚇。

  • This is like if you break up with me, you'll never have this.

    這就像是在說,如果你跟我分手,你就不會有像電影裡那般的生活。

  • These are all sad stories.

    這幾部都是悲傷的電影。

  • You know what I would love, Space Jam.

    你知道我愛看的電影是——《怪物奇兵》。

  • Would you just stay with me?

    你可以留下來跟我在一起嗎?

  • Stay with you?

    跟你在一起?

  • What for?

    為什麼?

  • Look at us, we're already fighting.

    看看我們,已經開始吵架了。

  • Well, that's what we do.

    我們就是會這樣。

  • We fight!

    我們會吵架!

  • You tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass.

    你說我是自大的混蛋,我說你是個討厭鬼。

  • - Because I want you. - All of you.

    - 因為我想要你。- 想要你的全部。

  • Forever you and me, all the days.

    你和我永遠在一起,每一天。

  • - Go, I lost you once. - No, don't go

    - 你走吧,反正我曾失去過你。- 不,不要走。

  • - I think I can do it again. - No, you can't, you know you can't.

    - 我覺得我可以再失去你一次。- 不,你無法。

  • - If that's what you really wanted. - You know you can't, you won't do it.

    - 如果離開真的是你想要的。- 你知道你承受不住,你不會放她走。

  • F**k you Ryan Gosling.

    去 X 的,雷恩葛斯林。

  • I'm gonna cry.

    我要哭了。

  • Nicholas Sparks might be the reason I'm alone.

    尼可拉斯·史派克可能是我單身的原因。

  • [Wedding ring]

    [婚戒]

  • The cynic in me says "ah, cheesy", but then the romantic in me is like "f**k yeah, Valentine's Day proposal."

    我厭世的一面會認為:「齁,真老套」,但是我浪漫的那一面會想:「耶,情人節的求婚」!

  • I would just be like, bitch ...

    我會表現得像個壞女人。

  • You don't propose on Valentine's Day.

    不可以在情人節求婚。

  • You don't propose on Christmas.

    不可以在聖誕節求婚。

  • And you don't propose on my or yours birthday.

    不可以在彼此生日當天求婚。

  • - Why not? - Those are staple holidays that belong to Jesus Christ, Cupid, me and you and not in that order.

    - 為什麼不可以?- 那些是屬於耶穌和邱比特的節日,輪不到你和我慶祝。

  • Will you make me the happiest man in the world?

    你願意讓我成為世上最幸福的男人嗎?

  • Yes! Yes! Yes! A million times yes!

    願意!願意!願意!超級願意!

  • Boo, wait, is it the right or the left?

    等等,戒指是要戴在右手還是左手?

  • It's this one.

    這隻手。

  • I like diamonds.

    我喜歡鑽石。

  • Jewelry's good.

    珠寶是不錯的禮物。

  • I'd say again.

    我要再說一次。

  • Customize it to the person.

    要客製化。

  • Subscribe something on it, inscribe.

    在上面訂閱,不,是刻字。

  • [Final Thoughts]

    [最終想法]

  • I still like the idea of Valentine's Day.

    我還是喜歡情人節這個節日。

  • I hate that none of these things are gonna be for me.

    我只是討厭有關情人節的慶祝,都不會發生在我身上。

  • Just some like love man.

    就是跟「愛」有關啊!

  • I'm happy for people who are in love.

    我替戀愛中的人感到開心。

  • And I'm happy for myself because I love myself.

    我也很替自己開心,因為我愛我自己。

  • Damn straight.

    說得太對了。

  • Do whatever you want, I don't know.

    做任何你想做的事,我不知道。

  • Why are you asking us?

    為什麼要問我們?

  • We don't know anything, that's why we're here.

    什麼都不知道是我們坐在這裡的原因。

  • Yeah, we're the worst people to ask this.

    沒錯,我們是最不該被問這個問題的人。

  • It's all about what's your intention and showing that you really care.

    這跟你的目的有關, 顯露出你的真心。

  • And wear a condom.

    記得要戴套。

  • Oh God, you don't want kids yet.

    我的天,你還不會想要生小孩的。

  • You're not ready.

    你還沒準備好當父母。

  • You're not ready.

    你還沒準備好當父母。

  • Will you be my back-up Valentine?

    你要當我的情人節備胎嗎?

  • I'd be an honor.

    這是我的榮幸。

  • You're drunk now?

    你喝醉了嗎?

To being single forever and ever.

敬永遠單身。

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    Annie Huang 發佈於 2020 年 08 月 21 日
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