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  • - Na, man, but I love religion.

  • I love watching religion,

  • studying religion.

  • The cool thing about religion is, like,

  • no matter who you pray to,

  • no matter what you study.

  • Every religion follows one basic premise.

  • One basic idea.

  • That every religion follows.

  • And that premise is God doesn't make mistakes.

  • Every religion believes that, everybody.

  • God,

  • does not make,

  • (audience laughing)

  • mistakes.

  • I said, God,

  • does not make.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Mistakes.

  • Okay, God don't make no mistakes?

  • That's, okay,

  • that's pretty ambitious thing to say.

  • No mistakes?

  • You ever read the Bible?

  • What does the Bible say happened on the seventh day?

  • God rested.

  • Okay, seems odd that a perfect being would rest.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Let me ask you a question.

  • Have you ever been performing a task,

  • it was going perfect

  • and you took a rest?

  • (audience laughing)

  • Has that ever happened in your life?

  • No!

  • That has never fucking happened to you.

  • But what's happened to you was,

  • you were performing a task,

  • you fucked up

  • (audience laughing)

  • and you though let me rest before I fuck this up some more.

  • (audience applauding)

  • God doesn't make mistakes.

  • Hush your mouth.

  • God make plenty of mistakes.

  • You ever see a porcupine?

  • (audience laughing)

  • Can't eat it, can't hug it.

  • It's ugly, it's sticky,

  • it's shitting all over the place.

  • Mistake.

  • (audience laughing)

  • What about quicksand?

  • Sand you can drown in.

  • You can drown dry.

  • (audience laughing)

  • You think God meant to make quicksand?

  • Mistake.

  • (audience laughing)

  • You ever been to Mississippi?

  • (audience laughing)

  • (audience applauding)

  • Mistake.

  • M-I-S-S-T-A-K-E.

  • (audience applauding)

  • Are you kidding me?

  • Just a big hunk of racist dirt.

  • Fucking Mississippi.

  • I was there a couple of months ago.

  • I couldn't even tell what year it was.

  • (audience laughing)

  • That's how fucked up and ghetto that shit was.

  • Like, God damn!

  • You know what Mississippi's like?

  • You know, like, when you go to the Caribbean,

  • you know, like, when you go to Caribbean,

  • you land and you get in that van.

  • That drive,

  • that scary-ass drive from the airport to

  • the the resort.

  • And you're looking out the window,

  • you're like what the fuck?

  • (audience applauding)

  • What the fuck is that shit?

  • Oh my God.

  • Whoa!

  • You see little kids eating dreadlocks.

  • (audience laughing)

  • You see Shabba Ranks stabbing a dog.

  • Shabba, Shabba,

  • Shabba, Shabba.

  • (audience laughing)

  • People looking like they've never saw a car before.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Wheel, wheel.

  • And then you get to the resort

  • and you're like Jamaica's nice.

  • (audience laughing) (audience applauding)

  • It's so nice,

  • we should invite your mother.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (laughing)

  • They give you one pina colada

  • and you forgive the worst poverty you've ever seen.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (laughing)

  • You take one sip and you're like,

  • that baby wasn't really dead, right?

  • (audience laughing)

  • I can't wait to jet ski.

  • (bouncy music)

- Na, man, but I love religion.

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克里斯·洛克(Chris Rock)列出了上帝的錯誤

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    VM3   發佈於 2020 年 07 月 28 日
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