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Somehow, many people feel obligated to give away their time and energy to others.
不知為何,很多人都覺得自己有義務要把時間和精力分給其他人。
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But why?
但為什麼?
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Perhaps they feel the need to prove themselves or have the intense desire to be liked?
也許他們想要證明自己,或是他們強烈想要被他人喜歡?
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The problem is that by caring too much about opinions of other people, you become their servant.
問題在於,太過在意他人意見的話,你就成為別人的僕人。
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If you find yourself in that situation often, I will share with you a powerful method to regain your sovereignty and show the world that you value yourself.
如果你發現自己很常身處這樣的情況,那麼我把一個厲害的方法告訴你,讓你重獲主權,向世界證明你重視自己。
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This method is called: "walking away."
這方法叫做:「遠離別人」。
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Walking away seems rude, but sometimes it's a necessary measure to exert a sense of power over a situation.
遠離別人聽起來很無禮,但有時在某些情況施展力量是必要手段。
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In a lifetime you meet a variety of people.
一生中,你會遇到很多種人。
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Some of these people have difficulties respecting other people's boundaries.
有些人不懂尊重其他人的界線。
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Some of them are clingy and demand a great chunk of your time.
有些人太黏人,會花你一堆時間。
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Others are simply cruel assholes that seek to take advantage of people for their own gain.
其他人單純就是冷酷的混蛋,為了自身的需求去佔別人便宜。
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When you show these people that you're willing and able to remove yourself from their presence it will not only send them a message that they do not own you; it will give you back control over your own faculty.
當你願意且可以直接不理會這些人時,這動作就等同告訴他們,他們並不擁有你,這樣會把精神上的控制權交回到你手上。
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The power of "walking away" has two great companions.
「遠離別人」有兩個很棒的同伴。
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One, the word "no."
第一,說「不」。
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And two, direction.
第二,指引方向。
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If you often find yourself wasting your time to the whims of other people, or worse: you are often being taken advantage of and used or even abused by them...
如果你常覺得自己常浪費時間在別人一時興起的念頭上,或更糟的是,你常常被佔便宜、被利用,或甚至被汙辱...
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It is very likely that you have difficulties saying "no" and that you lack direction in life.
很可能的是你發先說「不」很困難,且缺乏生活上的導引。
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The inability to say "no" and the absence of direction in life leads to you not standing firm.
無法說不、生活上又沒有方向,讓你無法堅守立場。
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If you're not standing firm, you're easily caught up in the affairs of other people.
如果你不堅定的話,就很容易被其他人的事情困住。
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The thing is: when people notice that you lack direction, for example in the form of commitment to a personal goal - they will see your time as less valuable than theirs.
重點在此:當人們注意到你生活沒個方向時——例如你沒有個人目標——他們就覺得你的時間沒有他們的時間寶貴。
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This observation legitimizes you doing stuff for them instead of for yourself.
這項觀察結果合理化了你該為他們做事,而不是為了自己做事。
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In their eyes, you're at least doing something valuable with your time, which is being a utility--for their interest.
在他們眼中,你至少有花時間做一些有價值的事,你在他們的利益上有實質功效。
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However, when you are committed to a goal, it shows that you value your time and, therefore, your life.
然而,如果你有一項目標,那就代表你重視自己的時間,進一步來談的話,你重視你的生活。
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People will realize that you're spending your time in ways that are more important than serving them.
人們會理解你在花時間做比服侍他們更重要的事。
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Also, by keeping your eyes on the ball, it's way easier to walk away from situations in which people violate your boundaries or downright abuse you.
而且,專注在一件事情上,會讓你更輕易地遠離一些情況,像是被別人逾越界線或直接汙辱你。
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This could be the case in regards to the workplace, marriage and even friendships.
不論在工作上、婚姻上、或甚至友情上都是這樣。
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Being tethered to your own path results in you caring less about the affairs of others.
心繫在自身的道路上,會讓你比較不在意別人的事。
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When you focus on yourself, you will not engage in needy, approval seeking behavior because there is only one person you have to prove yourself to: you.
當你專注在自己身上時,你不會有一些想被需要、被認同的行為出現,因為你只需要證明自己給一個人看:自己。
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Walking away from abusive people and destructive environments will protect your self-respect and integrity.
遠離會汙辱人的人和惡劣環境可以保護你的自我尊重和正直。
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It shows the world that you decide and are not decided for.
這舉動會宣告世界是你決定自己的人生,而不是被他人決定。
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It shows your friends, family and spouse that, although you love them, you are not dependent on them and will not stick around when they cross your boundaries.
這會告訴你的朋友、家人、另一半,儘管你愛他們,你並不依賴他們,也不會在他們越界時還圍著他們轉。
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It shows the person you are doing business with that you have plenty of other options, despite the fact that you're interested, the deal is not a necessity for you.
這會向你正在相處的人表示,你其實有很多其他選項,儘管你感興趣,但這對你來說並非必要。
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Walking away creates an abundance mindset.
遠離他人會創造富足的心態。
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Even if you don't have a lot of money, possessions or friendships, it signals that you are utterly content.
儘管你沒有很多錢、財產、或朋友,富足的心態象徵著你完全滿足。
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You might like and love certain people in your life, but you don't need them.
你可能會喜歡或愛上生活中的一些人,但你並不需要他們。
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Luxury, a million dollars in the bank, a Lamborghini, a trophy wife, it's all great, but without these externals you'll be perfectly fine as well.
奢侈物品、銀行裡的一百萬、一輛藍寶堅尼、超棒的老婆... 這些都很棒,但沒有這些外在物品,你也會活得非常棒。
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The willingness to walk away, and mean it, is your strongest negotiating position, because either way, you win.
願意遠離他人,並且認真地遠離他人,是你最強大的談判立場,不論怎樣,你都會贏。
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Thank you for watching.
感謝觀看。