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  • Welcome, everybody, to our support group for introverts in the age of COVID.

    歡迎大家來到新冠肺炎疫情時代下內向人的互助會。

  • Thank you for social distancing.

    謝謝你們保持了社交距離。

  • How are you guys doing?

    你們過得如何呢?

  • Hey, I'm doing okay, I think I'm just a little nervous.

    嘿,我過得很好,但我覺得就是有點小緊張。

  • Nervous, okay, about what exactly?

    緊張,準確來說是關於什麼呢?

  • I'm just not ready for things to be opening up already.

    我就是還沒有完全準備好重新開放回正常生活。

  • Okay, so you think it's unsafe?

    好的,所以你覺得現在還是不安全嗎?

  • I don't think so, I just don't wanna have to go back to needing a reason to cancel plans.

    也不是啦,就是不太想回到那種,要躲別人的約還要想理由的日子。

  • Oh my gosh, same!

    我的天,加一!

  • Last year my grandma died eight times.

    去年光是我阿嬤就掛了 8 次。

  • Wait, what?

    等等,什麼?

  • I know, it was a nightmare keeping things straight.

    我知道,要誠實說出來真的有夠難。

  • She had three car accidents, pneumonia, and Dengue fever.

    她出車禍出了三次、得了肺炎還有登革熱。

  • I'm shocked I didn't tell someone the same story twice.

    我很驚訝我沒有跟同一個人說兩遍同樣的故事。

  • Maybe I did, and they just assumed my grandpa remarried a lot.

    或許我有啦,但他們可能就覺得我阿公一直再婚吧!

  • Totally.

    真的。

  • At least now I can say stuff like: "Oh, it's a shame we can't go grab a beer, maybe when things are back to normal."

    至少現在我可以說:「好可惜喔,我們不能一起去喝一杯,或許等一切回復正常我們再一起去。」之類的。

  • They know I don't mean it, I know I don't mean it, but at least it looks like I made an effort.

    他們知道我不是真心在這樣說的,我也知道我不是真心的,但至少看起來我有試著想要赴約。

  • So, you don't actually want to see your friends again?

    所以,你其實壓根不想看到你的朋友?

  • No, I do, I just like the system we have now.

    沒有,我想見到他們啊,我只是覺得現在的生活模式很棒。

  • We meet outside a restaurant, we grab takeout, we go to a park and eat away from everybody else.

    我們在餐廳外面見面,拿走外帶的食物,去一個公園,在沒有其他人的地方吃飯。

  • No extra people, it's perfect.

    沒有閒雜人等,超讚的。

  • You know you can do that anyway, right?

    你知道其實不管怎樣你都可以這樣做,對吧?

  • That's literally just a picnic.

    這根本就是野餐啊!

  • Well, yeah, but right now I have a built-in eject button.

    嗯對啦,但至少現在我有內建的彈射逃生機制。

  • So if I'm not feeling up to it on the day of, I just say: "Oh, I've got a little cough, I've got a fever," and boom, two weeks of guilt-free me-time, baby.

    所以如果我今天真的不是想赴約的心情,我可以就說:「喔,我有點在咳嗽,我發燒了。」然後蹦,無憂無慮地開啟兩週自我小宇宙時間。

  • That is brilliant.

    你是天才。

  • What if you guys just turn down plans directly?

    如果你們直接拒絕別人的邀約呢?

  • I don't wanna do that, I'm not great with conflict.

    我不想這樣做啊,我不太擅長處理衝突。

  • It took me two-and-a-half years to tell my dad he was saying my girlfriend's name wrong.

    我花了兩年半來告訴我爸他一直以來都叫錯我女朋友的名字。

  • We almost broke up over it.

    我們差點因為這樣分手。

  • Plus, if you keep turning things down, you stop getting invited.

    再加上如果你一直拒絕人,你就不會再被邀請了。

  • Is that a problem?

    這會是個問題?

  • Uh, of course!

    當然啊!

  • Just because I don't wanna go doesn't mean I don't wanna be invited.

    我不想去並不代表我不想被邀請啊。

  • I want to know they're thinking of me from a distance.

    我想要知道他們也是有想到我的,遠距離地。

  • Exactly!

    太中肯了吧!

  • Man, it is great to know I'm not the only person who feels like that.

    老兄,知道原來我不是唯一有這樣感受的人真的是太棒了。

  • This is a great moment, I'm glad you guys have so much in common.

    真是感人的一刻,我很慶幸你們有這麼多的共同點。

  • You can work together to get more comfortable at making plans.

    你們可以一起工作,讓制定計劃的時候更加輕鬆。

  • Maybe after tonight's meeting.

    或許在今天的會議之後。

  • That sounds like a great idea, I'd love to, but tonight's not good for me.

    這聽起來是個好主意,我真的很想參加,但今天晚上我不太方便。

  • Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, me neither.

    對對對,我也不太方便。

  • In fact, I'm feeling kind of, like, a little bit of a tickle in my throat.

    老實說,我有點…我喉嚨癢癢的。

  • Probably nothing, but you can't be too careful.

    應該沒事啦,只是小心為妙。

  • Of course, next time though, for sure.

    當然,下次吧,下次一定可以。

  • It's just my grandma right now, she's a little bit under the weather.

    就我阿嬤現在有點著涼了。

  • Oh yeah, yeah, definitely, once things are back to normal.

    真的,好啦,事情回復正常時一定約。

  • We'll do it, and we'll grab a beer.

    一定,我們再一起去喝一杯。

  • Perfect.

    太讚了。

Welcome, everybody, to our support group for introverts in the age of COVID.

歡迎大家來到新冠肺炎疫情時代下內向人的互助會。

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內向人在疫情隔離狀況下的爆笑心聲 (Introverts right now be like...)

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    Seraya 發佈於 2020 年 08 月 01 日
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