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I guess I was the cookie cutter straight, white, successful male.
我想我曾經是個很典型的成功、白人男性。
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Probably people would look at me and think, "Well, I'm probably like them and therefore a little bit homophobic as well."
或許人們看著我會想:「我跟他們很像,所以我應該也有恐同症。」
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And then I made the really difficult decision to come out.
因此我在出櫃時做了一番很艱難的決定。
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You know, I met a man that I fell in love with when I was nearly 40 and then I realised I was gay.
我在將近 40 歲時才與一位男性墜入愛河,我才領悟到原來我是同性戀。
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[Why are people homophobic?]
[為什麼會有恐同症?]
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[Richard Beaven is a financial services director and LGBT activist.]
[Richard Beaven 為金融服務總監和 LGBT 活躍者。]
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[He believes it's important to understand homophobia, in order to eradicate it.]
[他認為要消除恐同症,了解恐同症是非常重要的。]
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Mr. Mawby, do you think homosexuals should be sent to prison?
Mawby 先生,請問你覺得同性戀者該送進大牢嗎?
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-Yes. Of course if they are ... -Surrounded by other men or ...
-是,當然要,如果他們… -被其他男人所圍繞或…
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Unbelievable.
難以置信。
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[Homosexuality was illegal in England and Wales until 1967, but homophobia still remains today.]
[在英國和威爾斯直到 1967 年同性關係才合法,但恐同現象至今都還存在。]
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When I think about why people are homophobic, I think about a workshop that I ran in the city a couple of years ago.
每當我思考為什麼人們有恐同症時,我就會想起幾年前我在城裡辦的一場工作坊。
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It was really good, apart from this one guy who literally said nothing and he had his arms folded, clearly really uncomfortable about being there.
那是個很棒的經驗,除了一位沈默不語並雙手抱胸的人,很明顯對參與活動感到很不自在。
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So I stopped the conversation and I looked at him and I said, "I notice you are not engaging with this."
我暫停了談話、看著他說:「我注意到你沒有在參與這一切。」
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"You are not part of the conversation."
「你都不有參與討論。」
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And I said, "I suspect there are three things that I find a lot of people struggle to engage in this conversation with, and the first one is gay sex."
然後我接著說:「我想有三件事情讓人們對於參與這樣的話題感到掙扎,第一件事就是同性之間的性行為。」
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Lots of straight men find it very, very uncomfortable to think about how men have sex with men.
許多異性戀男性對於想到男性與男性發生性關係感到非常不自在。
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But we have to park that.
但我們應該要停止這樣想。
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We're not having a conversation around sex, we're having a conversation about inclusivity and making people feel welcome.
我們的討論重點並不在於性關係,而是關於包容以及讓人們感到溫暖。
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And then I said, "The second thing I think lots of people like you think is that, you know, that 'all men who are gay fancy all men.'"
我接著說:「第二件事就是,大部分像你這樣的人會認為『同性戀男性喜歡所有男性』。」
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And I said, "You're just not my type."
我就說:「你不是我的菜。」
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And he started to smile and I said, "But there's the third thing."
他笑了,我又說:「但還有第三件事。」
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And I said, "This is often a problem, is that, 'If I engage in this conversation then people might think I'm gay'."
「這也很常是個問題,就是『如果我參與了話題,人們會覺得我是同性戀』。」
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[On top of this, Richard believes the HIV crisis still casts a shadow.]
[除此之外,Richard 認為愛滋病危機仍為同性族群的權益蒙上陰影。]
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There is now a deadly virus which anyone can catch from sex with an infected person.
現在有一種致命的病毒,任何人都可以因與被感染者發生性關係而被感染。
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So protect yourself.
所以保護好自己。
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It's safer if you use a condom.
使用保險套會安全許多。
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So I think that crisis had a huge impact on or reinforced the fact that gay people are different.
所以我認為這場危機對同性族群造成了重大的影響,或甚至放大了同性族群的不同之處。
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And there was a lot of terrible language around "gay people spread diseases," and it was just ghastly at the time.
關於「同性戀者散播病毒」有相當多衍伸的難聽言論,在當時非常可怕。
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And I think that's influenced a whole generation in terms of the way they think about homosexuality.
而我認為這影響了整個世代對於同性關係的理解。
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-You know, Russia has got anti-gay legislation, Chechnya you find pogroms against gay people. - Oh my god, yeah.
俄羅斯有反同性戀條款,在車臣曾經大屠殺過同性戀者。
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If you could speak to Vladimir Putin right now, what would you say to him?
如果你現在可以跟普丁來場對談,你會對他說什麼?
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I would love to sit down and talk to him face-to-face because only face-to-face with people do you get any progress.
我很願意坐下來並跟他來場面對面的對談,因爲唯有面對面談話才能獲得進步。
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So the thing I particularly like about what Elton says there is about sitting down with people and talking.
我特別喜歡 Elton 所說的,關於與人坐下來好好對談這件事。
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I do think we have repressed a lot, so people have just put it in a box saying,
我認為我們都壓抑太久了,因此大家都會先入為主覺得:
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"Oh god I'm not allowed to say whatever it may be …"
「天啊,我接下來要講的這些都是不能講的事情…」
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But if you allow people time to say it, and to say words that they might be a bit clumsy about ...
但如果你給人們時間並說出想講的話,並講他們或許不太擅長的事…
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It's fine, because you can help people learn.
這完全沒事,因為你可以幫助別人學習。
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It's fantastic when I talk to young people who are declaring whatever spectrum of sexuality they are on without thinking about it, I think of my own children.
當我與沒有特別思考過就發表自己性向的年輕朋友們談話時,真是太棒了,這讓我想到自己的小孩。
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They don't think about this in the way that those of us born in the 60s and 70s and the influences that we had do.
他們思考模式並沒有被 60 和 70 年代的我們所影響。
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So, is this fixable? It's changeable.
這是可變通的嗎?是的。
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It really is, and a few simple things can help.
這真的是,且幾件簡單的事就可以幫忙。
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If you've never met a gay person, go and talk to one.
如果你從來沒有認識同性戀男生,去找一位來聊聊天吧!
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You know what? They're quite nice to talk to.
你猜怎麼著?他們其實人都很好的。
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And listen and we use something called reverse mentoring.
聽聽他們講什麼,我們稱這為「反向教導」。
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You know, if you're senior, go and find someone that's not like you that is in the organisation and listen.
如果你是為老年人,在團體裡找一位與你不一樣的人並聽聽他們說什麼。
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Not for you to tell them, for you to listen to their story and who they are, because it might feel a bit uncomfortable.
並不是叫你去對他們說教,而是去聽他們的故事並了解他們是誰,因為你或許會感到有點不自在。
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But trust me, that works brilliantly well and I have seen people completely transformed.
但相信我,這真的極其有幫助,我看過有人被完完全全地改觀了。
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Their mind is opened.
他們敞開了心胸。
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They realize, "They're just like everyone else."
他們了解了:「他們其實跟我們一樣。」
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Being a straight ally, I know that word gets used a lot now, really matters.
作為一位異性戀的盟友,我知道這個字現在超常被使用了,但你真的也很重要。
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And say that you are a supporter of the LGBT+ community.
表明自己是支持 LGBT+ 族群的。
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Just do it and you know what, people won't think worse for you they will think a lot more of you.
就這樣做吧,人們不會對你產生負評,反而會對你產生更多想法。
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Because it's even more powerful if a straight ally talks about being inclusive and being welcoming of all forms of diversity.
因為異性戀的朋友們談論包容和多元化是更有影響力的。
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That works really well.
這真的非常有用。