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  • - We've been celebrating my birthday for the last month

  • but today is the actual big day.

  • Its all been practice leading up to now.

  • Y'all best be ready, it's about to get real up in here.

  • - This year has been such an unproductive waste

  • of my time that I'm not even gonna add it on to my age.

  • Like, I'm forgetting about it completely.

  • I'll still take the presents though.

  • - I can't believe Carol in HR

  • told everyone it's my birthday today.

  • That is supposed to be classified information.

  • - It's my birthday,

  • and none of you will go skydiving with me.

  • Some friends you are!

  • And don't start going on about

  • your heart condition, okay?

  • Save it for someone who cares.

  • - For my birthday let's just do something simple

  • like go out and have dinner somewhere.

  • And then maybe get some margaritas afterwards

  • and then go to the karaoke bar

  • and then a rooftop party at an abandoned building

  • in a different city!

  • - Oh my gosh, I can't believe you all signed

  • this generic Hallmark card and got me a sheet cake

  • with my name on it (sniffling).

  • This is so thoughtful, thank you.

  • This is really the best birthday ever.

  • - Why am I hosting my own birthday party?

  • Because it's not about me,

  • it's about my friends' perceptions of me

  • on the anniversary of my birth.

  • Now, help me stuff these gift bags

  • and arrange these ice sculptures.

  • - Then go skinny dipping in the Arctic Ocean.

  • - I appreciate your concern about the legality

  • of my fireworks show.

  • And don't get me wrong:

  • I am breaking numerous laws.

  • But they can't arrest you on your birthday!

  • Come on man, everybody knows that.

  • - I said thoughtful gifts only

  • and you got me a Subway gift card

  • and put it in a greeting card

  • that says "Happy Bat Mitzvah"?

  • Is this ironic?

  • 'Cause if it is, it's actually very thoughtful.

  • - Doing donuts in the parking lot of a Dunkin' Donuts

  • while eating...

  • bagels.

  • - It's really my birthday, are you sure mom?

  • Okay...

  • And I'm how old now?

  • - Okay, here's the birthday party duties:

  • Jason, take care of the coats,

  • Sally, make sure no one taps on the fish tank,

  • and Aunt Hilda, make sure that this party remains

  • a Timmy-free environment by any means necessary.

  • - [Crowd] Surprise!

  • - More than anything I'm surprised

  • you ding-dongs thought this would make me happy.

  • - Thank you all for attending my party.

  • You can expect thank you notes

  • in the next three to five business days.

  • Now, it is 8:59,

  • I'm gonna have to ask you all to leave.

  • - Going into the woods, with a shaman

  • to perform ancient rituals which will connect

  • me with my past selves.

  • - [Guy] Happy Birthday!

  • - Thanks, you too!

  • I mean, (sighs).

  • (Windows closing music)

  • - Wow, another year older, my parents had two kids

  • and a house by the time they were my age.

  • Me, I've got a five year plan

  • I have to keep adjusting and a houseplant named Kevin

  • that I'm pretty sure I'm over watering!

  • - The end of another birthday,

  • time to reflect upon how time continues

  • to pass me by at an ever increasing speed

  • as I inevitably hurdle towards shuffling off

  • this mortal coil.

  • Just like any other day, except now I have cake.

  • - And then maybe just, like you know,

  • get ice-cream or something, I don't really know.

  • - [Frank James] If you wanna own some of these cool designs

  • to wear on your own body, the link is in the description

  • you can be repping your favorite YouTube channel,

  • which is this one!

  • - My parents had two cats (laughing).

  • - Tonight's party is gonna be aboot a booboo.

  • - Sally, make sure no one steps on the fish tank.

  • - I'm not even a Jewish girl.

- We've been celebrating my birthday for the last month

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B1 中級 美國腔

16個人物的生日 (16 Personalities on Their Birthday)

  • 10 0
    Mahiro Kitauchi 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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