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  • Did you bring a fan out with you?

  • Yes.

  • What's happening?

  • A -- gets hot sometimes.

  • [LAUGHS]

  • It's a tiny little fan.

  • Yes, I am in menopause so that's what happens.

  • Wow, so instead of one of those little things--

  • Sometimes I just catch on fire, for no reason.

  • Just woof!

  • Just--

  • I understand.

  • Yes.

  • I know, I've been through it.

  • So wait, so you, I texted you when

  • you got nominated for an Emmy.

  • Congratulations.

  • Why, thank you.

  • Emmy nomination for your special.

  • Thank you.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • And you went to, did you go to the Creative Arts--

  • Yes, I went to the Creative Arts--

  • With Alex, obviously.

  • Yes, with Alex.

  • We had a great time--

  • Does she like those things?

  • She loves those things.

  • Oh, my-- I created a monster, really.

  • I mean, seriously, a red carpet thing, she wants to be there.

  • I wouldn't be surprised if I get home

  • and it's just red carpet in the house now.

  • She just sets up her own little press line,

  • just taking pictures.

  • She loves it.

  • We showed, we sent the picture to my, our kids.

  • I was like hey, you know.

  • And Lucas goes, "Oh, too much makeup.

  • You're ugly."

  • I'm like--

  • Wow.

  • All right.

  • Yeah, he's harsh, man.

  • He just lets her have it.

  • Wow.

  • It's because she doesn't usually wear makeup at home?

  • Right.

  • Yeah, he just wants his natural mom.

  • He doesn't want, you know.

  • Right.

  • And do you like her with makeup on more or do you like her--

  • because I like Portia without makeup on,

  • but she loves wearing makeup.

  • Me too.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, yeah I like Portia without the makeup, too.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • No, I'm like you.

  • I like her natural.

  • I like Alex without the makeup, yeah.

  • But that's and Portia hates red carpets,

  • but she loves an excuse to get dressed up

  • and do things like that, too.

  • Yeah.

  • So what did you do this summer?

  • I didn't talk to you.

  • I know.

  • Yeah, we went to, we were in France.

  • Villefranche, that's in the south.

  • And the thing is, though, they picked these places

  • and they're beautiful, the view is beautiful,

  • but it's just getting there.

  • Like this apartment that we Airbnb'ed, it was like,

  • it was up on this cliff.

  • So, it was like 250 stairs, steps

  • to get up to the apartment and in like 100 degree heat.

  • Oh, my god.

  • Yeah, look at that.

  • That's me--

  • Oh, my god.

  • --heading back to the beach.

  • Just--

  • Oh.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • You don't look-- you don't look happy.

  • Oh, I'm not happy at all.

  • No, no.

  • It's just, it's just steps.

  • And then when you make that turn, it's just more steps.

  • And it just keeps going up, just steps.

  • So it's like, if you get upstairs

  • and you're like, oh, my god I left something on the beach.

  • Too bad.

  • Yeah.

  • It's just, I don't care.

  • Whatever it was--

  • Right.

  • You know, your towel, a kid.

  • I don't care.

  • I'm like, he'll find his way home.

  • Yeah.

  • I don't care.

  • I'm not going back down there.

  • And the thing is, you'd see that, like an image,

  • like in a movie or something and you go, oh

  • my, that is so charming.

  • But the reality of steps.

  • Right, yeah.

  • How do people move into a house like that?

  • How did they get furniture up there?

  • I would just build it when I got up there.

  • I would just--

  • But you have to, the supplies.

  • Get the supplies.

  • I don't know.

  • I don't know, Ellen.

  • I just thought of that.

  • I don't know because I--

  • That is a good question.

  • I think about moving a lot so--

  • Air drop it.

  • Yeah.

  • I don't know.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • So, they do that--

  • Drone it in.

  • Yeah, they do that in Positano.

  • They have to helicopter things in.

  • It's crazy.

  • You went to Wimbledon.

  • Yes, yes.

  • Did you go to the finals?

  • I did and that was the first time going to Wimbledon.

  • Have you, you've been over there right?

  • I have been.

  • I heard you met some fancy people when you went to,

  • when you were in London.

  • Yeah.

  • Uh-huh.

  • Yeah.

  • You met the royals.

  • I met, yes Prince Harry and Meghan.

  • Nice.

  • Yeah, they were lovely.

  • Just gotta show off all the time, don't you.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • They wanted to meet me, so.

  • Oh, they wanted to meet you!

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • [CHUCKLING]

  • Why not?

  • Well, and I held Archie, but anyway--

  • OK, enough!

  • So let's, all right.

  • Enough.

  • So, what about your kids?

  • Are they in school?

  • Did they start?

  • What are they in--

  • Yeah, they're back.

  • They're in fifth grade, they're back in school.

  • So happy, I'm sure all parents are happy.

  • God bless teachers.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah, God bless teachers.

  • God bless teachers, man.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • They're the best.

  • How's that for them?

  • I'm just, you know my kid, here's the thing.

  • The homework and the summer reading was kicking our butt,

  • you know.

  • Because I wish I could just trust my kids like hey,

  • here's the list.

  • You got to read these books and that's it.

  • But I noticed I would ask them, there

  • was a, they had that one book to read, Sadako.

  • And that was the easiest book, so I'm like,

  • what was that book about?

  • And my son was like, it's about a girl

  • and she does these Sudoku puzzles.

  • And--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I'm like, this is about a little girl who,

  • you know got leukemia from the affects of the bomb being

  • dropped over there in Hiroshima and he's

  • talking about number games.

  • Uh-huh.

  • So, now I have to read all the books, right.

  • So I had to read three books this summer with them

  • and I'm going to tell you, when it got close to school's

  • about to start, I'm like, I still got 200 pages to cover--

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • --on this other book.

  • So, I'm reading to them while they're sleeping.

  • Hopefully it will sink in and--

  • Oh God.

  • It was a mess.

  • Does Alex read them, too?

  • Why are you--

  • No, no.

  • She's just smoking and doing her thing, yeah.

  • Yeah, she's just over there smoking and--

  • With her beret on.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • How would she talk?

  • What would she say?

  • She's like, oh, the book sounds very interesting to me,

  • but I don't care for it.

  • I don't care.

  • I don't care to read.

  • I like, I prefer like a magazine or something with more photos,

  • perhaps.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Good luck when you get home, today.

  • I know.

  • I always get in trouble when I come here with you.

  • Because every time, just 'cause she's

  • French you describe her like she smokes.

  • And she doesn't smoke.

  • She doesn't smoke at all.

  • All right.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Every time.

  • That's Wanda Sykes and the new movie is called Jexi.

  • So explain, I think we just saw but explain

  • what the movie is about.

  • Oh, it's with Adam DeVine and it's a guy,

  • his cell phone pretty much takes over his life, you know.

  • It's like Siri gone crazy, basically.

  • Have you had that?

  • Where Siri says something surprising to you?

  • Because I've had that happen to me.

  • When you ask it something, has Siri ever done

  • something weird with you.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • She called me the n-word one time.

  • No she--

  • I was like, what is that?

  • No she--

  • I'm joking.

  • Good Lord.

  • She did not.

  • What is wrong with y'all?

  • Yeah.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • What is wrong with y'all?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • They actually, they literally went [GASP]..

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • I would own Apple if that happened.

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • You think I would be sitting here?

  • Yeah.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • I would-- [CHUCKLING]

  • I would be over there with Meghan and Harry, right now.

  • They would wanna meet me.