Yes.

What's happening?

A -- gets hot sometimes.

[LAUGHS]

It's a tiny little fan.

Yes, I am in menopause so that's what happens.

Wow, so instead of one of those little things--

Sometimes I just catch on fire, for no reason.

Just woof!

Just--

I understand.

Yes.

I know, I've been through it.

So wait, so you, I texted you when

you got nominated for an Emmy.

Congratulations.

Why, thank you.

Emmy nomination for your special.

Thank you.

[APPLAUSE]

And you went to, did you go to the Creative Arts--

Yes, I went to the Creative Arts--

With Alex, obviously.

Yes, with Alex.

We had a great time--

Does she like those things?

She loves those things.

Oh, my-- I created a monster, really.

I mean, seriously, a red carpet thing, she wants to be there.

I wouldn't be surprised if I get home

and it's just red carpet in the house now.

She just sets up her own little press line,

just taking pictures.

She loves it.

We showed, we sent the picture to my, our kids.

I was like hey, you know.

And Lucas goes, "Oh, too much makeup.

You're ugly."

I'm like--

Wow.

All right.

Yeah, he's harsh, man.

He just lets her have it.

Wow.

It's because she doesn't usually wear makeup at home?

Right.

Yeah, he just wants his natural mom.

He doesn't want, you know.

Right.

And do you like her with makeup on more or do you like her--

because I like Portia without makeup on,

but she loves wearing makeup.

Me too.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah I like Portia without the makeup, too.

Yeah, yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

No, I'm like you.

I like her natural.

I like Alex without the makeup, yeah.

But that's and Portia hates red carpets,

but she loves an excuse to get dressed up

and do things like that, too.

Yeah.

So what did you do this summer?

I didn't talk to you.

I know.

Yeah, we went to, we were in France.

Villefranche, that's in the south.

And the thing is, though, they picked these places

and they're beautiful, the view is beautiful,

but it's just getting there.

Like this apartment that we Airbnb'ed, it was like,

it was up on this cliff.

So, it was like 250 stairs, steps

to get up to the apartment and in like 100 degree heat.

Oh, my god.

Yeah, look at that.

That's me--

Oh, my god.

--heading back to the beach.

Just--

Oh.

Yeah, yeah.

You don't look-- you don't look happy.

Oh, I'm not happy at all.

No, no.

It's just, it's just steps.

And then when you make that turn, it's just more steps.

And it just keeps going up, just steps.

So it's like, if you get upstairs

and you're like, oh, my god I left something on the beach.

Too bad.

Yeah.

It's just, I don't care.

Whatever it was--

Right.

You know, your towel, a kid.

I don't care.

I'm like, he'll find his way home.

Yeah.

I don't care.

I'm not going back down there.

And the thing is, you'd see that, like an image,

like in a movie or something and you go, oh

my, that is so charming.

But the reality of steps.

Right, yeah.

How do people move into a house like that?

How did they get furniture up there?

I would just build it when I got up there.

I would just--

But you have to, the supplies.

Get the supplies.

I don't know.

I don't know, Ellen.

I just thought of that.

I don't know because I--

That is a good question.

I think about moving a lot so--

Air drop it.

Yeah.

I don't know.

[LAUGHTER]

So, they do that--

Drone it in.

Yeah, they do that in Positano.

They have to helicopter things in.

It's crazy.

You went to Wimbledon.

Yes, yes.

Did you go to the finals?

I did and that was the first time going to Wimbledon.

Have you, you've been over there right?

I have been.

I heard you met some fancy people when you went to,

when you were in London.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

You met the royals.

I met, yes Prince Harry and Meghan.

Nice.

Yeah, they were lovely.

Just gotta show off all the time, don't you.

[LAUGHTER]

They wanted to meet me, so.

Oh, they wanted to meet you!

Yeah, yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

[CHUCKLING]

Why not?

Well, and I held Archie, but anyway--

OK, enough!

So let's, all right.

Enough.

So, what about your kids?

Are they in school?

Did they start?

What are they in--

Yeah, they're back.

They're in fifth grade, they're back in school.

So happy, I'm sure all parents are happy.

God bless teachers.

Yeah.

Yeah, God bless teachers.

God bless teachers, man.

[APPLAUSE]

They're the best.

How's that for them?

I'm just, you know my kid, here's the thing.

The homework and the summer reading was kicking our butt,

you know.

Because I wish I could just trust my kids like hey,

here's the list.

You got to read these books and that's it.

But I noticed I would ask them, there

was a, they had that one book to read, Sadako.

And that was the easiest book, so I'm like,

what was that book about?

And my son was like, it's about a girl

and she does these Sudoku puzzles.

And--

[LAUGHTER]

I'm like, this is about a little girl who,

you know got leukemia from the affects of the bomb being

dropped over there in Hiroshima and he's

talking about number games.

Uh-huh.

So, now I have to read all the books, right.

So I had to read three books this summer with them

and I'm going to tell you, when it got close to school's

about to start, I'm like, I still got 200 pages to cover--

[LAUGHTER]

--on this other book.

So, I'm reading to them while they're sleeping.

Hopefully it will sink in and--

Oh God.

It was a mess.

Does Alex read them, too?

Why are you--

No, no.

She's just smoking and doing her thing, yeah.

Yeah, she's just over there smoking and--

With her beret on.

Yeah, yeah.

How would she talk?

What would she say?

She's like, oh, the book sounds very interesting to me,

but I don't care for it.

I don't care.

I don't care to read.

I like, I prefer like a magazine or something with more photos,

perhaps.

[LAUGHTER]

Good luck when you get home, today.

I know.

I always get in trouble when I come here with you.

Because every time, just 'cause she's

French you describe her like she smokes.

And she doesn't smoke.

She doesn't smoke at all.

All right.

[LAUGHTER]

Every time.

That's Wanda Sykes and the new movie is called Jexi.

So explain, I think we just saw but explain

what the movie is about.

Oh, it's with Adam DeVine and it's a guy,

his cell phone pretty much takes over his life, you know.

It's like Siri gone crazy, basically.

Have you had that?

Where Siri says something surprising to you?

Because I've had that happen to me.

When you ask it something, has Siri ever done

something weird with you.

Yeah, yeah.

She called me the n-word one time.

No she--

I was like, what is that?

No she--

I'm joking.

Good Lord.

She did not.

What is wrong with y'all?

Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

What is wrong with y'all?

[LAUGHTER]

They actually, they literally went [GASP]..

[LAUGHTER]

I would own Apple if that happened.

Yeah, yeah.

You think I would be sitting here?

Yeah.

[APPLAUSE]

I would-- [CHUCKLING]

I would be over there with Meghan and Harry, right now.

They would wanna meet me.