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  • -Wiz This episode of Death Battle is brought to you by AVGN II: ASSimilation.

    這一期的生死決鬥由《憤怒遊戲宅2:吸收》贊助

  • Pre-order on Steam, right now, to save 10% AND get the soundtrack free.

    現在在Steam預購可以獲得九折和免費音軌

  • -Wiz For some action heroes, it's not enough to JUST save the world.

    對一些動作英雄來說

  • -Boomstick They've gotta look good doing it!

    光是拯救世界還不夠

  • -Wiz Dante, the Devil Hunter.

    他們救的時候還要特別帥

  • -Boomstick And Bayonetta, the Umbra Witch.

    但丁,惡魔獵手

  • He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick!

    還有貝優妮塔,獵天使魔女

  • -Wiz And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win...

    他是Wiz我是BOOMSTICK

  • A Death Battle.

    我們的工作是分析他們的武器、盔甲和技巧

  • -Wiz Take a walk down Slum Avenue, and you'll find all sorts of hangouts for the scum of the Underworld.

    找出誰會贏得生死決鬥

  • The Bullseye Bar, a random...strip club, and even a run-down service shop called 'Devil May Cry.'

    去Avernew貧民窟散一下步

  • -Boomstick But the services they're selling aren't like washing your car, or fixing your plumbing.

    你會看到很多地底世界的人渣在玩耍

  • HOOH no, s'long as you got the cash, this shop specializes in delivering demonic beatdowns.

    飛鏢酒吧

  • "Who's CRAZY enough to try making a living this way?" You ask?

    一些普通的脫衣舞廳

  • His name...

    甚至還有落魄的事務所,名為鬼泣

  • is Dante.

    那裡的服務可不像是你修車補衣服等等

  • -Wiz From the very beginning, Dante's life was always unusual.

    當然不是

  • Born from the unholy union of a human mother and a demon father,

    只要你有鈔票,這個商店就會為你提供獵殺惡魔的特別服務

  • Dante and his twin brother, Vergil, had their first supernatural encounter at the young age of 8.

    也許你會問,哪個瘋子居然靠這個在討生活?

  • -Boomstick Yeah, see, his demon dad was a badass who single-handedly conquered the Underworld,

    他的名字是

  • And imprisoned its demon emperor, Mundus.

    但丁

  • But after dad died, Mundus' minions felt brave enough to take some revenge, by...slaughtering his family.

    打從一開始

  • Leaving Dante an orphan.

    但丁的人生就與眾不同

  • Bummer. Hate it when that happens.

    由不合倫理的人類母親和惡魔父親結合

  • Wiz- With his mother gone, and his brother assumed dead, Dante was left with only one option:

    但丁和他的雙胞胎哥哥維吉爾

  • Become the ultimate Demon Hunter, and...perpetuate the cycle of vengeance.

    在8歲的幼齡時就表現出超自然力量

  • -Wiz Despite the dangerous nature of his occupation,

    沒錯...他的惡魔老爹很威猛

  • Dante always maintains a carefree spirit, while dispatching devils of the Underworld.

    孤身一人征服了地底世界

  • -Boomstick It's part of his charm.

    並監禁了魔帝蒙德斯

  • Hell, when you've got abilities like Dante's, why NOT be a little cocky?

    在老爹掛掉後

  • He's faster than the mortal eye can see, strong enough to grapple with the Undeworld's toughest demons,

    蒙蒂斯的手下趁機展開報復

  • And straight-up MAN enough to shake off being stabbed through the chest, like, every goddamn day!

    殺光了他全家

  • -Wiz That's thanks to his regenerative ability.

    讓但丁成為了孤兒

  • In fact, ALL of that is made possible due to his demonic heritage,

    真掃興

  • and made even MORE deadly by his plethora of weapons.

    我最討厭這樣了

  • His favorites being his dual pistols, and enormous sword.

    在他母親死去

  • -Boomstick Like any proud weapon owner, he gives his tools of destruction pet names.

    哥哥也“應該”死了之後

  • His guns, Ebony and Ivory, specialize in long-range shots and rapid-fire barrages, respectively.

    但丁只剩下一個選擇

  • These handcannons are SO powerful, they can each obliterate demons in a single shot.

    成為終極的惡魔獵手

  • -Dante I think that look suits you better.

    然後開始瘋狂的報復

  • *Cue laugh track*

    現在要開始狂歡!

  • -Boomstick Rebellion is a large, magical sword, given to him by his pops,

    瘋起來!

  • which can cut any demon down to size in the blink of an eye.

    他的職業雖然充滿了危險

  • He's also got his brother's sword, Yamato, which can cut through DIMENSIONS!

    但丁在獵殺惡魔時,總是保持著樂觀的態度

  • -Wiz Throughout his adventures, Dante also collected a wide assortment of additional weaponry called Devil Arms,

    這是他的魅力

  • physical manifestations of powerful demons he has defeated.

    如果你有但丁的能力

  • -Boomstick Remember Megaman? I-it's that. But on steroids!

    傲慢一點也是很正常的

  • His armor, Gilgamesh Gauntlets, increase his striking power,

    他快得肉眼看不到

  • letting him shatter huge monoliths with a lethal, one-inch punch.

    強壯得能夠和地底世界最強大的惡魔角逐

  • -Boomstick With Lucifer - the backpack, not the devil - Dante basically throws infinite lightsabers.

    天殺得能夠直接承受刺穿胸膛

  • He's also got an electric guitar, which is literally electric.

    幾乎每天來一下

  • Ice-powered nunchucks, grenade launchers, shotguns, and, I kid you not,

    這點得感謝他的治癒能力

  • a briefcase that can transform into 666 different weapons,

    實際上這些對於他的惡魔力量都是小事

  • Ranging from a giant Beyblade, to a flying turret gun.

    如果加上他的武器組合會更暴力

  • Where does he POSSIBLY keep all this stuff!?

    他最出名的,是雙槍和巨劍

  • -Wiz Really, REALLY deep pockets.

    和很多驕傲的武器主人一樣,他給這些毀滅武器起了愛稱

  • Or, perhaps, it's one of his styles, abilities he has also acquired from defeating demon bosses.

    黑檀木和白象牙雙槍,專長於遠距離高速射擊和強力的突擊

  • With Doppelganger Style, he can duplicate himself,

    這些槍枝威力實在太強大

  • with Trickster Style, he can teleport instantly,

    只需要一槍就能粉碎惡魔

  • with Royal Guard Style, he becomes a nigh-impervious dreadnought,

    我覺得你這樣好看多了

  • AND he can even slow down time with the Quicksilver Style.

    "叛逆"是他父親贈予的魔法大劍

  • -Boomstick On the rare occasion Dante feels he needs to get serious, he enters the Devil Trigger,

    能夠在眨眼間將惡魔一分為二

  • a transformation that taps into his demonic heritage to unleash his true devil form.

    他還有他哥哥的刀 - 閻魔刀

  • Devil Trigger dramatically increases his strength, speed, and healing power, AND he can fly!

    這刀能夠切開維度!

  • -Wiz Being so well-armed, Dante is more than capable of handling entire hordes of demons on his own,

    在他的冒險中

  • although this doesn't stop some of his allies from joining in from time-to-time.

    但丁還收集了大量的武器

  • This includes Trish, a demon-lady who occasionally fights alongside him,

    惡魔武器

  • and happens to resemble his deceased mother....

    是他打敗過的強大惡魔化身的極小形態

  • Talk about giving somebody an Oedipus complex.

    記得洛克人嗎?

  • -Boomstick Hey, if I may quote an old family saying,

    就...差不多

  • "If she's not directly related, she's safe to be dated."

    但是帥很多

  • -Wiz That explains a lot...

    衝擊鋼吉爾伽美甚,加強他的突擊力量

  • Luckily, and quite surprisingly, that avenue was never explored -- thank god.

    能讓他用致命一擊破壞龐然大物

  • Boomstick- Dante is a walking, talking, feat-achieving machine.

    無盡劍路西法

  • One time, after getting impaled by FOUR demons at once, he pushed one so hard, it exploded,

    是武器不是那個惡魔

  • and dropped a ceiling fan on the other three.

    但丁幾乎是無限制的扔出光劍

  • All while eating a slice of pizza!

    他還有一個電吉他

  • Oh...and when their friend showed up, he challenged them to a game of billiards.

    真的是用來電人

  • [Asshole, corner pocket.]

    冰凍的玩具、榴彈發射器、散彈槍

  • He won.

    還有最牛逼的

  • Dante has run down the side of a building so fast, he caught fire,

    能夠轉變成666種武器的手提箱

  • similar to a spacecraft re-entering the atmosphere at approximately 17,000 MPH.

    從巨型的迴旋鏢,到裝滿大砲的飛行船

  • -Boomstick And he's even capable of taking out others just as overpowered as himself. Like his brother, Vergil,

    他究竟把這些玩意兒放在哪?

  • who was NOT dead, but...evil.

    非常...非常深的口袋裡

  • He stopped a colossal punch from THIS titanic monster, without breaking a sweat,

    也許是他其中一種風格

  • shrugged off bombardment by meteors,

    同樣是需要打敗惡魔Boss獲得的能力

  • and eventually avenged his mother by defeating the demon lord, Mundus.

    使用二重身風格,能夠複製自己

  • In space.

    騙術師風格能夠瞬間傳送

  • -Boomstick You may be asking yourself: "Can ANYTHING stop this guy?!?"

    皇家護衛風格讓他成為反擊專家

  • Yes.

    甚至還能使用水銀風格減慢時間

  • Dante DOES have a limit to how much punishment he can take,

    在一些特殊情況

  • but if there's anything that could take him down, it's his own cocky attitude.

    但丁覺得需要認真的時候

  • -Wiz In the words of the ancient Chinese philosopher, Laozi,

    他會按下惡魔開關

  • -Boomstick I'm gonna have to disagree with ol' Laozi here,

    轉變成另一種外觀,能夠讓他接觸並釋放他真正的惡魔形態

  • pretty sure there's no greater danger than telling a woman those pants do, in fact, make her ass look fat.

    惡魔開關戲劇性的增強他的力量、速度和治癒能力

  • -??? You...BASTAAAAARD!

    還能飛哦

  • -Dante And, jackpot.

    武裝充足

  • -Wiz From the angels of Paradiso, to the demons of Inferno, there is a name feared by both the light and the dark.

    但丁的實力能夠獨自碾壓整個惡魔軍團

  • And her name...

    不過這個並沒有妨礙到盟友的加入

  • [is JOHN CENA!]

    盟友包括有崔西

  • is Bayonetta.

    一個經常和他合作的惡魔女士

  • [I like mine better.]

    正好是他死去母親的翻版

  • -Boomstick To any normal guy walking down the street,

    勾引別人也不能這樣啊

  • she may look like your average 7-ft. tall, GARGANTUAN Amazon-woman with good fashion sense.

    嘿!讓我引用一句祖傳真言

  • But Bayonetta is ACTUALLY one of the last Umbra Witches, a clan of mystics allied with demonkind.

    如果她不是真的親戚

  • -Wiz Named Cereza upon birth,

    不能約X是放屁

  • she spent her early life growing up an outcast due to her parents being from rival clans.

    這就解釋了很多...

  • Her father, a Lumin Sage, and her mother, an Umbra Witch.

    很幸運...我也很驚訝

  • -Boomstick See, the Sages and Witches had one rule to follow:

    這種不倫的關係從來沒有發生

  • DON'T make babies with the opposite clan, because, according to prophecy,

    感謝上帝

  • it would bring on the destruction of the universe.

    但丁是一個會走、會說、會虐人的機器

  • So, naturally, it was only a matter of time before SOMEbody couldn't keep it in their pants.

    有一次,在同時被四個惡魔刺穿後

  • Ahh...pullin' out works every time, but the last time.

    他只是推一下,就解決了一個惡魔

  • -Wiz You would know...

    還把電風扇震下來,弄死了剩下的三個

  • With the pact now broken, war ensued between the two factions. In the end, only two witches survived:

    當時他嘴裡還叼著一片披薩

  • Cereza, and her rival/future friend, Jeanne.

    還有...這些惡魔的朋友出現,要挑戰但丁玩撞球

  • Hoping to prevent the Apocalypse, Jeanne used a special dagger to seal away Cereza's memories,

    他贏了

  • and put her into a 500-year long coma.

    但丁有過衝下建築

  • -Boomstick When Cereza woke up from her epic power nap, she took on her new name - Bayonetta -

    快得自己燒了起來

  • and set out to find her lost memories.

    這和外星飛船衝入地球相似

  • Luckily for her, she had just the right weapon for the job:

    速度達到17,000英里/時

  • her hair!

    他還能夠幹掉和他自己一樣強大的敵人

  • -Wiz As an Umbra Witch, not only does her hair serve as her clothing,

    像是他的哥哥維吉爾

  • -Boomstick Which I'm having a REAAAALLY hard time deciding whether or not that's hot, or..just disgusting.

    他...沒有死

  • -Wiz she can also use it to summon the demon, Madama Butterfly, to aid her in battle.

    但是...很邪惡

  • This technique, the Wicked Weaves,

    他擋下了這個巨型怪物的重擊,汗都不流

  • creates portals for the giant demon to deliver devestating punches and kicks.

    多次被流星擊中

  • Bayonetta can also walk on walls and ceilings with Witch Walk,

    最終為母親復仇,打敗了魔帝孟德斯

  • and even transform into animals to fly, run super-fast, and dodge attacks.

    在宇宙裡

  • -Wiz But her most useful technique is Witch Time.

    也許你會暗自有個疑問:

  • By slowing down time itself, Bayonetta can dodge..practically anything,

    有什麼能阻止這傢伙嗎?

  • while unleashing a barrage of attacks.

    的確

  • -Boomstick Bayonetta is basically a tall, sexy armory.

    但丁能承受的傷害確實有極限

  • She wields gauntlets, called Durga, which attack with fire and electricity,

    如果要說有東西能放倒他的話

  • a huge scythe that ROTS the SOULS of its victims,

    就是他傲慢的態度

  • and a friggin' lightsaber called Pillow Talk.

    中國古代的智者老子說過

  • She has a bow that fires poison arrows, a chainsaw made of dragon scales,

    ”禍莫大於輕敵“

  • a MASSIVE hammer that can cause earthquakes with every strike,

    我必須同意這位老子的說法

  • and even ice skates! Which..attack with ice.

    我很確定沒有比告訴一個女人,她的褲子讓她屁股看起來很大還要更危險的事情了

  • Obviously.

    你這雜種!!

  • But her most beloved weapons are her 4-pistol set called Love is Blue.

    頭獎

  • Rather than swap between them like a normal person, she somehow manages to wield all of them at once,

    從天堂之中的天使

  • by using not only her hands, but also her feet.

    到地獄火中的惡魔

  • -Boomstick How does THAT work? Does she have, like, some kind of weird...thumbs on her ankles, or something?

    有一個名字被光和黑暗所畏懼

  • (That would kinda detract from the hotness factor just a bit-)

    她的名字,是貝優妮塔

  • OH MY GOD.

    對一個在街上走的正常人來說

  • She's covered in hair, and she uses her feet like hands!

    她也許看起來像是一個身材高挑,有著很好時尚品味的亞馬遜人

  • SHE'S A MONKEY.

    其實貝優妮塔是最後的安柏拉魔女之一

  • MONKEY WITCH!

    一個和惡魔聯盟的組織

  • -Bayonetta This is awkward.

    名叫瑟蕾莎·翰博爾

  • Wiz- I...highly doubt that.

    她早期的生活是一位流浪者

  • She probably just uses some sort of magic.

    直到和他的父母相認

  • Speaking of magic, when Bayonetta wants to unleash her full potential,

    她的父親是位流明賢者

  • she triggers her Umbran Climax.

    她的母親卻是安柏拉魔女

  • [Boomstick, you perv.]

    賢者和魔女有一個規則要遵守

  • Which increases her strength and lets her summon Madama Butterfly's full, unrestrained power.

    不要和不同的陣營生小孩

  • When fully-unleashed, Madama Butterfly can shatter huge meteors by headbutting them.

    因為根據預言所說

  • -Boomstick Ahh...climax.

    那樣會帶來宇宙的毀滅

  • By herself, Bayonetta has pulled off some impressive feats.

    所以...這只是時間問題

  • She's strong enough to kick military jets into the air,

    遲早會有人管不住自己的褲子

  • headbutt skyscrapers across the city,

    ╮(╯▽╰)╭...

  • and even throw satellites, with her legs, in outer space.

    拔出來每次都管用

  • Oh, by the way, she can survive outer space.

    直到最後一次

  • -Wiz Using Witch Time, she was able to defeat...THIS thing,

    當然啦...

  • in only a matter of real-time seconds.

    由於契約的毀壞

  • Even without Witch Time, her reaction speed is astronomical.

    兩方陣營展開了戰爭

  • For example:

    到最後,只有兩個魔女存活

  • When a Lumin Sage stopped time to position newly-fired bullets about 3 feet behind her,

    瑟蕾莎和她的競爭對手/未來好友,貞德

  • she managed to not only turn and identify the incoming threat, but also dodge ALL 16 of them.

    希望能夠避免天啟

  • -Wiz Considering regular bullets travel around 2,500 feet per second. She must have pulled all that off in less than ONE-THOUSANDTH OF A SECOND!

    貞德使用特別的匕首封閉瑟蕾莎的記憶

  • -Boomstick And then there's that one time, when she killed God.

    並讓她進入長達五百年的昏迷

  • You know, by scissoring her hair with Jeanne's,

    當瑟蕾莎從她強大的午覺中甦醒後

  • and punching the Creator's SOUL across the entire solar system, into the sun?

    她使用新的名字

  • -Wiz Okay, obviously Bayonetta's feats and abilities are ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!

    貝優妮塔

  • But she IS sometimes rather inconsistent.

    開始尋找她迷失的記憶

  • -Boomstick Despite her reaction time, she's been caught off-guard by enemies,

    她很走運,有適合行動的工具

  • ranging from a half-god called Lobster,

    她的頭髮

  • or...something like that,

    作為一個安柏拉巫女

  • and even a plant-monster, that managed to grab her out of the air.

    她的頭髮不止作為衣服

  • -Wiz But, regardless of whatever weaknesses she may have,

    我很難判斷這究竟是性感

  • Bayonetta has achieved more than anyone can possibly imagine, despite being 100% human.

    還是...噁心

  • -Boomstick Wait, she IS human!?!

    她還可以用來召喚蝴蝶夫人

  • Dibs.

    協助她作戰

  • -Bayonetta Alright. Let's dance, baby.

    這個技能,巫女攻擊

  • -Wiz Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

    為巨型惡魔製造出通道,進行強大的拳腳攻擊

  • -Boomstick But first, we made another videogame! And it sure would be swell if you buy it.

    貝優妮塔還能使用魔女漫步在牆上和天花板行動

  • The nerd is back for an all new adventure.

    還能變身成動物

  • Crush your enemies!

    飛行、急速奔跑和躲避攻擊

  • Navigate new puzzles!

    她最有用的技能是魔女時間

  • Fucking helicopters!

    通過減慢時間

  • Giant fucking alligators!

    貝優妮塔幾乎能夠在攻擊開始的時候就躲避一切

  • Fast fucking race cars!

    貝優妮塔基本上是一個高挑、性感的武器庫

  • FUCKING FLAMING TANUKI BALLS!

    她使用手鐲杜爾迦

  • And lots more shit!

    能夠進行火、電攻擊

  • Coming March, 29 to PC and MAC. Preorder now on steam and get 10% off and a soundtrack free.

    有一把能剝奪受害者靈魂的巨型鐮刀

  • But right now,

    還有一把名叫枕邊語的強大光劍

  • IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!

    她能夠用弓射出毒箭

  • -??? Another wandering, lost soul, I see?

    使龍鱗製成的雙電鋸

  • -Dante Wow.

    還有每一下攻擊都能製造地震的巨錘

  • Lost? Nah.

    甚至還有冰刀

  • I'm looking for something called a 'Left Eye.'

    也就...用冰攻擊

  • Care to give me a hand?

    很明顯啦

  • Could be fun.

    她最愛的武器是四支一組的手槍

  • -??? Hmph. I see.

    藍色的愛簡

  • But if you're looking for the Left Eye, that would either make you an angel...

    並不像普通人一樣互相切換使用

  • -Bayonetta ...or a demon.

    她不知怎麼,學會了同時使用四把

  • -Announcer FIGHT!

    不止是用她的手

  • -Bayonetta Get back!

    還用她的腳

  • -Bayonetta Take this!

    這怎麼弄的...

  • -Dante Woah!

    她難道在腳腂上有什麼奇異的大拇指還是什麼嗎...

  • -Bayonetta Too slow...

    現在她變得更加性感迷人了...

  • -Bayonetta Take THIS!

    我的天!

  • Mmm...what a disappointing finish.

    她全身都是毛髮

  • -Dante That all you got, sister?

    還能把腳當成手用

  • -Bayonetta Ah! Looks like you're more of a man than I thought.

    她是隻猴子!

  • -Dante Come on!

    猴子魔女!

  • -Bayonetta No touching...

    這可不好...

  • W-what?!

    我...很懷疑

  • -Dante Haven't used THIS in a while.

    她大概是用某種魔法而已啦

  • Still got it!

    說到魔法

  • -Dante In the money!

    有一次貝優妮塔釋放她所有潛能時

  • Hahahaa!

    她攀爬到了安柏拉(魔女)的頂峰

  • Jackpot!

    嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿...

  • -Bayonetta You're a naughty boy, hitting a girl like that...

    這個增強的她的力量

  • YOU need to be taught a lesson!

    還讓她召喚出了全力無限制的蝴蝶夫人

  • -Dante Ohooh! Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about!

    在釋放全力時

  • -Bayonetta If you like that, you're gonna LOVE this...

    蝴蝶夫人能夠砸碎巨型流星

  • *Nom*

    只是用頭敲

  • -Dante Phwoo! Your breath STINKS!

    額...

  • -Bayonetta This is where we part ways, love.

    棒極了

  • -Dante After you.

    只靠自己的時候

  • -Trish Dante!

    貝優妮塔也有很多驚人的表現

  • -Dante Ah, c'mon, Trish!

    她強壯得能夠將戰鬥機踢到空中

  • You missed.

    頭頂爆墜下城市的摩天大樓

  • -Trish Oh, don't be a baby.

    還用她的雙腿扔出衛星

  • Let's finish her off!

    在太空中哦...

  • -Bayonetta Jeanne.

    順便說下,她能在太空生存

  • -Jeanne Cereza.

    使用魔女時間時,她能夠打敗...

  • Having some guy trouble?

    這東西...

  • -Bayonetta Not to worry.

    只花費了現實時間的幾秒鐘

  • I've got this one handled.

    即便不使用魔女時間

  • -Trish Wait.

    她的反應力也是快得驚人

  • We're getting PAID for this one, right?

    舉例來說

  • -Dante Come on!

    當一個流明賢者停下時間