Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • Hello.


  • It's time for me to share one of my most


  • deepest...


  • darkest...


  • saddest...


  • stories that I ever held inside and not told anyone in over 15 years.

    藏了15年 沒和人提起的故事了

  • That's right...


  • I broke my ass.


  • [very nice music]


  • It's not something I'm proud of


  • and I'm only making this video


  • to make sure that this happens to no one else


  • I was young, I was foolish


  • and this could happen to anyone.

    我曾經年少 曾經懵懂

  • Do you know where your Ass is right now?


  • You have to be aware at all times.


  • Otherwise, you run the risk of experiencing the same pain


  • I did long long long ago.

    否則 你也會有經歷同樣痛楚的風險

  • I'm making this video because I made a promise.

    就像我一樣 很久很久以前的事

  • In a video a couple years ago, I said I admitted that I broke my Ass.


  • I'll tell people in the future about this story

    幾年前的一部影片 我承認我跌壞我的咖稱過

  • and I finally gathered enough courage...


  • I finally gathered enough strength...


  • to tell my story about how I broke my Ass.


  • (Subtitle by *I am HeRe *in description at bottom)


  • I'd really appreciate if people...


  • gave me the respect and support for doing this.


  • It's not easy to talk about

    能給我尊重和支持 我會非常感謝

  • But I will do my best to stay strong throughout this video (??)


  • When I was 15 in Sweden, I was an awkward, Swedish, weird, under-developed, l- little child...

    但在這部影片 我會盡我所能的堅強

  • That's right everyone

    在我15歲在瑞典的時候 我是個尷尬詭異

  • I used to be the short kid.


  • You think I'm insecure about my height for no reason

    (笑) 沒有綽各位

  • This has nothing to do with the story.


  • I'm just giving context.


  • I didn't like interacting with people.


  • I would prefer to just sit home and play video games.


  • I know, the perfect cliché of a nerdy kid.


  • Nevertheless, during summer,


  • we didn't have a computer at our summer place.

    我知道 很像個屁孩的說詞

  • I had a completely different friend group there.

    然而 到了夏天

  • There was basically -- Internet was non-existent


  • so I had no other choice but to hang out and socialize with people.


  • So even though I was a weird awkward kid, two months a year I became a normal Swedish boy


  • and I became a summer child

    所以我別無他法 只能跟別人玩耍和社交

  • and actually went out partying and did all the stuff you do.


  • So one week during summer,


  • there's a it's called sailing week, I think,


  • where everyone or a lot of people rent a boat,

    也真的去了派對 做了些你們會做的事

  • they go sailing and they go from harbor to harbor.


  • And...

    有個 叫帆船週吧我想

  • they get drunk and party.


  • So me and my friends rented a sailing boat all together.

    玩帆船運動 從港口到港口

  • Well, I think- I think I was 15 I don't know exactly how old I was.


  • But me and my two closest friends,


  • we rented a boat to do basically just this.


  • I don't know why my parents thought this was a good idea,

    我想-我想我那時15歲吧 我不記得確切我是幾歲了

  • I definitely would not let my kids do (laughing) this.


  • Especially in mind with what we did.


  • I'm not gonna go into details...


  • But I know what you're thinking, "WOW! Felix you have so many amazing talents,

    我絕對不會讓我小孩做這種事 (笑)

  • you must be really good at sailing."


  • Oh yeah, I was actually a sailing instructor at one point.


  • Not really.


  • I mean I was the sailing instructor, but I was goddamn awful at sailing.


  • I really just got the job thanks to my mom.


  • Thanks, Mom.

    喔耶 我其實有段時間是航行指導員呢

  • I remember the (cackle) during the uh...


  • So it was basically me and a bunch of really young kids

    我的意思是我是航行指導員 但我他馬超不會開帆船的

  • and then during the beginning of the course,


  • we asked like who wants to sail with Felix and all the kids went,


  • "Yeah me me me," and I'm like, "Yay, I'm finally popular with kids."

    我還記得 (笑) 在...

  • Kids like me, this is great.


  • And then at the end of the course, they asked the same question,

    然後 在課程剛開始的時候

  • "Who wants to stay with Felix today?"

    我們問了 誰想要跟Felix一起開船

  • No one, complete silence. No one wanted to sail with me.

    然後所有孩紙都 " 耶我我我 "

  • All the kids hated me because I wasn't good at sailing and we kept capsizing

    我就像 " 耶 我終於成為孩紙王了 "

  • and I kept lashing out on all the kids because they sucked at sailing

    孩紙們喜歡我 真好

  • and how is that my fault? I'm just the instructor. (laughing)

    然後課程結束後 他們問了同個問題

  • I also won one sailing uh...

    " 誰今天想跟Felix一起開船? "

  • Competition once, which wasn't really a sailing competition,

    沒人 一片沉默 沒人想跟我一起開船

  • but it's one of those things that I carried with me throughout these 15 years and go.

    所有小孩都討厭我 因為我根本不會開還一直翻船

  • Yeah, I'm good at sailing.


  • I'm not good at sailing and I'm willing to admit that.

    那怎麼會是我的錯勒? 我只是個指導員啊 (笑)

  • Nevertheless,


  • we went sailing me and a couple friends and it was a great time.

    競賽 也不是真的帆船運動競賽啦

  • We... we party.


  • HA! G-

    對阿 我很會玩帆船運動

  • And that was it.

    我不擅長帆船運動 我也願意承認

  • The problem is, I get really really really motion sick or seasick.


  • And anyone that gets seasick,

    我們去玩了帆船運動 我和幾個朋友 真的是段美好的時光

  • you know, how awful it is.


  • It stays with you until you get out of the boat.

    哈! G-

  • It doesn't leave you for all this time


  • and it seems impossible to get rid of

    問題是 我很容易暈船

  • you just want to die and it's not a good feeling.


  • I didn't like the feeling.

    你就知道 會有多糟糕

  • So I thought, "Okay, I'm gonna come prepared."


  • So I bought this motion sickness tablets,


  • which is supposed to help with it.


  • But they came with two side effects that I was not intending for.

    你就會很想死 真的會很不舒服

  • Numero uno~


  • It made me extremely sleepy. For some reason, we had these weird regulations in Sweden where..

    所以我就想 " 好 那我就先準備好 "

  • (uuuhnnngngng) with drugs...


  • I guess we don't really...


  • have sleeping pills like in America a lot of times when doctors do is that instead of giving your sleeping pills


  • They'll say, "Hey, just take these motion sickness tablets, they do the same thing," and I didn't know about this


  • So I remember one t- one of the days during the days during the sailing week. It was so stormy outside


  • I remember looking outside and being like, "Oh My GOD!"


  • I'm gonna die from seasickness if I go out on this so I just downed a bunch of these motion sickness tablets


  • Being like, "It's not gonna happen to me."; yeah, basically just drugged myself as hard as I could


  • Completely passed out. I don't know how long I was out...


  • but I remember I was waking up way later in the evening being super confused.

    很多時候醫生會 比起給你安眠藥

  • I didn't know where I was, I looked outside

    他們會說, " 嘿吃這種頭暈藥吧他們效果是一樣的"

  • I thought we arrived in the new harbor realizing we didn't even leave the shore.


  • Everyone was too afraid to sail that day

    所以我記得帆船週的某些日子 外頭天氣就超差

  • So I basically just drugged myself for no reason.

    我還記得看出去外面 我就想說 " 歐買尬! "

  • BUT Felix we want to hear how you broke your Ass.


  • Well, I'm getting there. Okay?


  • Papa needs some watch time.

    就像 " 這不會發生在我身上的 "

  • There's another symptom that I haven't mentioned yet, and that symptom is..

    對 基本上就是盡我所得的吞藥

  • Balensee.

    我完全失去意識 我不知道我到底昏睡多久

  • That's right, motion sickness is connected to your ear, which is connected to your balansee.

    我只記得我在傍晚醒來 整個人超級困惑

  • So I would say, or at least I like to think that that's why my balance wasn't the pristine top condition...

    我不知道我人在哪 我看出去

  • that it's usually in...

    我以為我們到新港口了 結果我們根本連岸邊都沒離開

  • I can stand on one leg probably longer than any other person alive.


  • I pride myself in having extremely well-balanced... in everything


  • Thanos' catchprase

    但 Felix 我們想知道你是怎麼跌壞咖稱的

  • perfectly balanced as all things should be was actually invented by me

    我快講到那邊了 好嗎?

  • I have amazing balance, but taking these pills...

    "爹地需要點觀看時間" --Felix Kjellberg (2019)

  • It knocked over my balance.

    還有一個症狀我沒提到 那個症狀是....

  • Then, we were also on this boat drinking ObViOuSlY (don't drink and boat kids)


  • as we were sailing and that knocked down a few points off my balance... (-1 balance every tick)

    沒綽 頭暈這症狀是連結到你的耳朵的

  • [akward silence glare]


  • scale as well. And I think you know where I'm going... (Laughing again)

    所以我能說 或至少我會去想這就是為什麼

  • with this. Now sometimes when you sit down in a sailing boat, it's a little bit awkward to sit down in a sailing boat


  • They're kind of weirdly shaped


  • so it's not always the perfect place to place your butt...


  • There's also a lot of big objects!


  • A lot of hard objects!


  • That you could possibly fall on, I was gonna sit down...


  • Everything was fine. It was a beautiful sunny day.

    完美地平衡 就像所有事物應該有的樣子

  • We were all drinking beer...


  • alcohol free, of course ( of course ;) )

    我有完美的平衡感 但吃了這些藥之後...

  • I was gonna sit down and I remember it so vividly, I can replay the whole scenario in slow motion

    它把我的平衡感打翻了 :(

  • I was gonna sit down and I was gonna grab my friend while sitting down, because like I said,


  • It's awkward sitting down in a sailing boat


  • So I was gonna get help for my friend to sit down...


  • But this son of a gun...


  • moved away...

    還有程度 然後我想你們也已經知道我要講什麼了...

  • in last second, and I remember so clearly


  • just (loading dialog)


  • Falling out of my grasp, my hands knowing, "OH GOD,


  • whatever my Ass is gonna land on it's not gonna be beautiful!"


  • And let me tell you it wasn't beautiful. I landed on a "vinsch"...


  • I don't know what that's called in English

    你很可能會摔倒 我正要坐下...

  • It's basically what you're rail in the sails with

    事事都很好 當天也是個美麗的晴天

  • and it's pretty much as uncomfortable as you can imagine... (oh, it's called "winch" in English, okay...)


  • I screamed out in terror, in pain, in shock: "My ass!"

    沒有酒精的 當然 :)))

  • "Ahh, my ass!"

    我正要坐下 我還記得很清楚

  • I was completely immobilized, I couldn't move...


  • But most importantly, I was in deep, deep pain.

    我正要坐下 我扶著我朋友要坐下 像我之前說的

  • "It really hurts to break your Ass." - Ghandi


  • I wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but I knew something was wrong...


  • So me and my friend,

    *劇情轉折* 但這個小 女表 子....

  • As(s) soon as we enter.. we came to shore, we came to harbor, we had to go to the hospital...


  • We did the scan to confirm that, yes indeed, there was a crack in my Ass....

    在最後那一秒 我還記得很清楚

  • (Quiet laughter)


  • I did no longer just had one crack in my ass,

    離開我的掌握之中 我的手頓時也了解了

  • I had two cracks in my ass and that's one crack too many to have, let me tell you.

    " 喔天啊 不管我的咖稱會如何著陸 一定是很難看那種 "

  • I remember feeling very shocked about this...

    讓我告訴你 真的很不美觀

  • It was a very traumatizing experience and realization and I wasn't sure what they were gonna do with me.

    我著陸在一個vinsch上 (絞盤)

  • How do you treat a cracked Ass? I thought, maybe they would give me some sort of a bandage


  • Kind of like a diaper or something like that, and I remember asking the nurse,


  • "What are you gonna do?" and she's like, "Well, we can't bandage your Ass

    大概就跟你想的一樣不舒服 (喔它英文叫winch..好喔)

  • can we?" and I thought, "Yeah, I guess we can't.".

    我恐懼 疼痛 震驚的叫出來

  • You live and you learn. (Laughter)

    (¯´•._.• 哇欸咖稱 •._.•´¯)

  • So instead they just gave me a bunch of painkillers and sent me off even though I had a broken Ass.

    ╰☆☆ 啊啊啊 哇欸咖稱 ☆☆╮

  • You know, usually when you break something... I never actually broke anything in my body,

    我整個動不了 我沒辦法動...

  • so I was actually kind of looking forward to it, because everyone, you know, when they're a kid...

    但最重要的事 我超級超級痛

  • They break an arm, they break a leg, or whatever and everyone's like, "Oh,

    跌壞你的咖稱真的很痛- 甘地

  • it's so sad for you," and they get all this attention,

    我不是很確定發生什麼事 但我知道事情大條了

  • they get people writing on your bandage...


  • No one's gonna write on my bandage (Ass bandage). I realized all I have to deal with is the pain...

    當我們進--我們靠岸到了港口 我們就去了醫院

  • and suffering, and most of all, the humiliation. You break an arm, it's cool; you break an Ass...

    我們做了檢測證實 沒有錯 我的咖稱有了一道裂痕....

  • It's not cool. No one thinks that's cool. No one is proud to say, "Hey, I broke my Ass.",


  • Okay? Do you think I want to be here? You think I want to tell this story? Think again!


  • Now, the worst part of all...

    我現在咖稱有兩道裂痕 我告訴你們有一道就很多了

  • is that Jonas...


  • Jonas, if you're watching this video, you sneaky son of a snake!

    這是個很創傷的經驗和認知 我也不知道它們會對我怎樣

  • Jonas, the guy that moved away when I was trying to...


  • ...sit down, while I was at the hospital with my other friend, Agus, good friend at least, that doesn't tell people.


  • Jonas told...

    某種像尿布或其他東西 我還記得我問護士

  • Everyone.

    "你們要怎麼做?" 她就像 "我們沒辦法包紮你的屁股呀"

  • He told everyone that I had broken my Ass...

    我就想 "對啊我想我們辦不到"

  • And everyone laughed.

    "活著就是在學習嘛" --Pewdiepie (2019)

  • "ha ha that's so funny." I couldn't sit straight for god knows how long, I was in pain...


  • I was humiliated...


  • I was hurt...

    你們知道 通常當你們弄壞...我其實沒把我身體弄壞過啦

  • ...Don't break your ass, take it from me.


  • Take good care of it...


  • 'Cause you never know what's gonna happen to i-

    他們弄斷手 腳 或什麼的

  • (laughter)

    大家都會說 "喔 真為你感到難過" 然後他們得到所有關注

  • That's my story, thanks for listening, don't break your Ass.


  • (#ad) WHAT? you never played Tuber simulator??

    沒人會在我的石膏/繃帶上簽名 (屁股石膏?)

  • Pfffsfjhsshshshshhhhh


  • You know, it's fun right, I'm not supposed to give my opinion

    還有痛苦 更多的是嘲笑

  • But give it a try and then you can tell me if it's good or not. Not convinced yet?! Okay. I'll cut you a deal

    你手臂斷了 很酷

  • The game is available for free! And that's a great price!

    你跌壞咖稱.... 一點都不酷




影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

A2 初級 中文 PewDiePie 運動 繃帶 尷尬 小孩 故事

我打破了我的屁股 (I Broke My Ass)

  • 4 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日