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  • - Oh, hello cheese.

  • - Hey.

  • Another trip to the fridge, huh?

  • - I mean, I've only had like six pounds of guac today, so--

  • Wait.

  • Who are you?

  • - It's me, coronavirus.

  • - Oh, gee.

  • Okay, wait.

  • Hi, Corona.

  • - Just call me Rona.

  • - You know, I gotta be honest,

  • kind of forgot about you for a minute.

  • - Still here, being awful as usual.

  • - With everything going on,

  • I went like a week without thinking about you.

  • - That's crazy.

  • - So you're still here, and you're ignoring me.

  • Who are you texting?

  • - My friends the murder hornets.

  • We're on a group text.

  • - Yeah, wait, did I miss the murder hornets?

  • Did that already happen?

  • - No, no no no.

  • You didn't miss it.

  • And plus, we've got the cicadas

  • and the hurricanes on this text.

  • I mean, we're really just trying

  • to kick it up a notch this year.

  • - Yeah, and the systemic racism?

  • Is that you too?

  • - No, that's all you guys.

  • Not my fault.

  • By the way, what is wrong with you people?

  • - What is wrong with me?

  • You're the one who's terrible.

  • - Uh, speaking of terrible, I saw your last Zoom call.

  • Mute yourself when you're eating chips, lady.

  • - Whatever.

  • - Ooh, that's how I getcha.

  • Always with the face touching.

  • - Really?

  • - Who knows?

  • Are you scared?

  • - Wait, do you think I have you?

  • (making noncommittal noise)

  • - But every time you cough, you're gonna wonder.

  • - It could be allergies.

  • - Oh, yeah yeah yeah.

  • - There's a lot blooming.

  • - Allergies.

  • - There's a lot in the air.

  • It's allergies.

  • - (laughing) Yeah.

  • - Whoa whoa whoa, you're getting way too close.

  • Six feet, please.

  • - Okay.

  • - We've been really careful,

  • and still, you're ruining everything.

  • - Guilty!

  • - We have friends who've been sick,

  • friends who've lost jobs, weddings, graduations, proms.

  • Everything's canceled.

  • Are you happy now?

  • - I mean, kinda.

  • Does that make me bad?

  • - Yes, that makes you bad.

  • - "Yes, that makes you bad."

  • Listen, I'm just doing my job.

  • - When will you leave?

  • We need to get back to our lives.

  • - Wouldn't you like to know.

  • - Yes, I would.

  • That's why I'm asking.

  • - I'm done when I say I'm done.

  • I kind of sound like your mom when I say it like that,

  • don't I?

  • I mean, I may go away and chill for a minute,

  • but I'm coming back.

  • - You know what?

  • I am done with you.

  • - Oh, cute mask.

  • - These work, right?

  • - I mean, yes, but shh.

  • - You know what, it's not just this.

  • - Okay.

  • - I got hand sanitizer for days.

  • - You do you.

  • - Our family is gonna drive to the beach,

  • we're gonna stay away far from people,

  • we're just gonna put our toes in the sand.

  • Who are you texting now?

  • My guys the great whites.

  • They're just gonna circle.

  • You're fine, you're fine.

  • We're just gonna have them circling.

  • But you're fine.

  • - I am done with you.

  • - Cool.

  • Sure.

  • - [Man] So Lola, we've got Rona, systemic racism,

  • we've got murder hornets, cicadas.

  • - Oh, zombie fires.

  • - [Man] What?

  • - There's zombie fires in Asia or something.

  • I don't know, actually know where it is.

  • They're like fires that were underground.

  • I don't know.

  • - Hold on a sec, hold on.

  • Let me look this up.

  • "Zombie fires are burning in the Arctic

  • "after surviving the winters."

  • It's not actual burning zombies.

  • - [Man] Is that what you thought it was?

  • - No!

  • It's like fires where it's cold.

  • That's why they call it, because it looks like a weird--

  • - I literally thought, I'm like,

  • "Oh, people are--

  • - [Man] Winter is coming.

  • - Yes, I thought it was like a "Game of Thrones",

  • the undead are coming back.

  • Honestly I'd be like, "Huh.

  • "Probably."

  • Although also like, UFOs.

  • - And flying snakes.

  • - What?

  • - And spiders.

  • - By the way, UFOs were confirmed a few weeks ago,

  • and we just missed it.

  • We just didn't pay attention to that.

  • - [Man] Lola, thanks for educating us on zombie fires.

  • - I love you.

  • - I'm gonna go do nothing.

  • - Okay.

  • - [Man] All right.

  • - Okay.

- Oh, hello cheese.

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B1 中級 美國腔

如果冠狀病毒是一個人 (If Coronavirus Were A Person)

  • 86 3
    nanako.kamiya 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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