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  • Love makes you think about doing things you never thought

    愛促使你想一些你以前不會想去做的事情,

  • you'd do before, you know? Like, getting married.

    你知道嗎?像是結婚。

  • I thought I was gonna get married.

    我當時以為我要結婚了。

  • For me, I never thought I was gonna get married

    對我來說,我曾未想過要嫁人這件事,

  • cause I have all this divorce in my family, you know.

    因我家庭有過離婚的故事,你知道的。

  • I also think when you get older as a woman,

    我還知道當女人變成熟女後,

  • marriage just becomes a little more appealing,

    婚姻會顯得很有吸引力,

  • 'cause marriage is set up for girls

    因為婚姻是專門為女人

  • as an offer that you just cannot refuse.

    所設的福利,妳還不能拒絕它。

  • If someone came up to me on the street randomly,

    如果有人在街上隨機問我,

  • and marriage as an institution, did not exist,

    婚姻是個不存在的機構,

  • and someone was just like, "Excuse me ma'am.

    他問:「女士不好意思,

  • Hi, um, would you be interested in a beautiful diamond ring?

    嗨,妳對漂亮的鑽戒會有興趣嗎?

  • And a bunch of parties where your friends will buy you

    還有一堆聚會上,朋友會買給你

  • whatever the (bleep) you want?

    任何你想要的東西?

  • And then you get to move into somebody else's house

    然後你需要搬過去跟某個人一起住

  • and get on their health insurance plan.

    他會幫你加保健康保險。

  • And then if they cheat on you,

    如果他背著妳偷吃,

  • you get half their shit, no questions asked...

    你便可以得到他一半的財產,他屁都不能吭一聲…

  • would you be interested in that?"

    妳會有興趣嗎?

  • Yeah, man, yeah, yeah.

    有的,有的。

  • How do I get all that shit?

    我要如何得到這些東西?

  • Well, you just have to have sex with the same man

    你得要跟這位男人做愛

  • for the rest of your life.

    一輩子。

  • Ohhh.

    噢。

  • You know what? (Bleep) it. I have Tylenol PM.

    管它的,我有安眠藥。

  • Let's do this shit. Where do I sign up?

    我們來做吧,我該在哪裡簽名?

  • (giggles)

    (笑聲)

  • It's not that we love you.

    我們並不是愛你

  • We just want shit, okay?

    而是想要東西而已,好嗎?

  • It's the same thing with sex.

    性事方面也是一樣。

  • Like, we don't always have sex with you guys

    我們才沒有時時都想要和你們做愛

  • because we like want that (bleep).

    是因為我們想要那 XX。

  • No!

    才不是!

  • No!

    才不是!

  • Okay, Half the time I have sex with a guy,

    好的,我跟男生做愛一半都是

  • it's because it burns calories.

    因為可以消耗熱量。

  • (applause)

    (掌聲)

  • I'm like oh, God. I had that lasagna today...

    像是我今天剛吃完千層麵…

  • I don't have time to go to the gym, so...

    我沒有時間上健身房,所以…

  • I should probably just (bleep) this guy.

    我乾脆直接上了這個男的。

  • (sighs)

    (嘆氣聲)

  • But I really go for it, you know.

    但我真會去做,你知道的,

  • I wear a terrycloth headband and ankle weights.

    我綁上個頭巾,穿上踝部沙袋

  • I get in there...

    準備就位…

Love makes you think about doing things you never thought

愛促使你想一些你以前不會想去做的事情,

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 婚姻 想要 興趣 女人 偷吃 頭巾

惠特尼康明斯 - 我愛你 - 婚姻與性愛 (Whitney Cummings - I Love You - Marriage & Sex)

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    Angus 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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