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  • [Overcoming shyness. How to be a better you?]

    [克服害羞內向!如何成為更好的自己?]

  • Well, the best way to recognize if you're shy is that you're going to have an extreme focus on yourself.

    最容易判別自己是否害羞內向的方法,就是你需要極為專注在自己身上。

  • You'll be more focused on you than your environment, and you'll be more focused on you than the people around you.

    不論是與週遭環境或是他人相比,你都更專注在自己身上。

  • And most likely you will dread any type of interaction or connection with another person.

    你很可能會對於與他人有互動或聯繫感到十分恐懼。

  • Even though you most likely really long for that.

    儘管你的內心是很渴望有交集的。

  • You know, the biggest problem that a shy person has is that they label themselves as shy.

    一個害羞者最大的問題就是他會為自己貼上「害羞」的標籤。

  • And when we label ourselves as shy, we act like a shy person would.

    當我們貼上這個標籤,我們的行為舉止就會如此。

  • And people don't naturally gravitate towards a shy person because we could feel their discomfort.

    而人們通常不會被害羞的人吸引,因為我們能感受到他們的不安。

  • So, the best thing that you could do is to challenge yourself by going into social situations that you either know somebody that you trust, that you can really rely on to help you overcome that initial first step, which is always the most difficult, or you can really put the focus onto somebody else.

    所以,你能做的最好的事就是進入有你信任的人的社交環境來挑戰自己,那個人要是你認為值得依賴,能夠幫你跨出克服害羞第一步的人,因為這通常是最困難的,或者你也可以把注意力放到別人身上。

  • The great news for a shy person is that people are so self-absorbed, they love to talk about themselves.

    對於一個害羞的人來說,一個好消息是人們通常都只顧自己,他們喜歡談論自己的事。

  • So all you need to do is ask a question as simple or easy as "How was your day?"

    所以你只需要問一個簡單輕鬆的問題,像是:「你今天好嗎?」。

  • And the other person will start talking and you can be more focused on them than you.

    另一個人就會開始講話,而你就可以更專注在他們身上,而非自己。

  • And sooner or later, you will find that the only reason why you are shy is because you thought that you were.

    很快你就會發現你害羞的原因只是因為你認為自己就是如此。

  • There's not necessarily a strategy for a small group or for a large group, but I think that, you know, when there's a bigger group of people for a shy person, that situation is naturally more overwhelming instead of needing to deal with the seven, which could seem manageable, dealing with 20 or 30 or 50 could seem just completely overwhelming.

    並沒有特別針對小群體或大群體的策略,但我認為當害羞的人要面對的是大群體,而不是可能 7 個人這種看似是可以掌控的人數,一次與 20、30、50 人相處,壓力自然比較大。

  • So, that's where you really want to focus on your breathing and you want to break the room down.

    這正是你會想專注自己的呼吸,且使你情緒崩潰的地方。

  • And what I mean by that is that you just have to focus on the person who's in front of you.

    而我真正想表達的是,你只要專注在你面前的那個人身上就好。

  • Set yourself up for some kind of challenge and then a reward.

    讓自己接受某些挑戰,然後獲得獎勵。

  • You know no matter how many people are at this event tonight, I'm going to speak with three people.

    不論今晚的活動有多少人參加,我要跟 3 個人講到話。

  • Create your intentions before you go to the events.

    在前往活動之前,幫自己設立好目標。

  • I'm going to have a meaningful conversation.

    我要進行一段有意義的對話。

  • I know for myself, when I used to go out to all the bars and all the clubs before I was engaged, I always had the intention to have a meaningful conversation.

    我自己知道,在我訂婚前,當我去酒吧和夜店時,我總是有意進行一場有意義的對話。

  • I didn't care if it was with a bartender or a girl in the bathroom or a guy who was trying to hit on me.

    我不在乎他是酒保,或是我在廁所遇到的女生,或是前來搭訕的男生。

  • It was this idea of really wanting to make a deep and meaningful connection in a place where people don't usually have deep and meaningful connections.

    這個想法是想在一般人通常不會進行深入且有意義的連結的地方來建立一個深刻而有意義的連結。

[Overcoming shyness. How to be a better you?]

[克服害羞內向!如何成為更好的自己?]

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害羞內向不敢社交?教你如何克服這一切,踏出第一步! (How to Overcome Shyness | Better You)

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    doris.lai 發佈於 2020 年 10 月 03 日
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