What if I said to you

在臺北監獄裡面，

that the violent criminals and sex offenders inside Taipei Prison

服刑的性侵暴力犯，

are much better at controlling their emotions

他們的情緒控制能力，

than our university students?

比我們的大學生要好很多。

Would you believe me?

你們相信嗎？

Since I do psychological research,

從事心理學的研究，

I often have the opportunity to go to different places

讓我有機會到不同的地方，

and get to know different kinds of people.

常常認識不一樣的人。

Over the past few years,

在過去幾年當中，

in addition to working with university students,

除了有機會能夠跟大學生互動之外，

I've also visited Taipei Prison often.

臺北監獄，也是我常常進出的地方。

What I just mentioned is the result of our latest study.

剛剛所跟大家提到的是，

When we started,

我們最近的一項研究結果。

we were a little surprised too.

一開始的時候，

Emotion. What is it exactly?

也有點讓我們驚訝。

Is it good or bad?

情緒，它到底是甚麼？

Do you want to have them?

它是好還是不好？

I started working part time when I was in high school.

你會想要擁有它嗎？

I was told very early on,

我從高中開始就在外面打工，

"When you come to work, leave your emotions at the door."

很早就被告知：

Then I learned what people meant by the word "professional."

來上班的時候 要把我的情緒留在門外，

A very important part of it is to not have emotions.

之後，又學到「專業」 這兩個字的定義。

Not to get angry when you encounter someone unreasonable.

很重要的一部分是沒有情緒。

Not to cry when you feel sad.

碰到再無理的人不可以生氣；

That's in the workplace.

自己心裡再難過也不可以流眼淚，

At home, if you have a disagreement with your family,

那是在職場上。

they might say to you, "Don't be so emotional."

回到家裡，跟家人起了爭執，

Emotions: when you have them, it's like you've become a second-class citizen.

動不動對方就會說： 「妳不要這麼情緒化好不好？」

What you say is reasonable but useless.

情緒，一旦有了它，

Now you might say,

好像就變成了二等公民，

"That's just your generation. Kids today are different.

講的話再有理也沒有用了。

They have a well-rounded training from a young age."

或許你會說：「那是你的年代，

Is that so?

現在的小朋友不一樣哦， 從小就接受全方位的訓練。」

Early this year, we started a research project

是這樣嗎？

to get elementary students to identify their emotions and develop their EQ.

今年初，我們開始一項研究計劃，

In class we asked the children,

是要教小學生認識情緒， 發展他們的EQ (情緒智商)。

"What is anger?

上課的時候，

Do you remember the last time you were angry?"

我們就問小朋友，

The children replied,

生氣是什麼感覺啊？

"I don't know.

你最近ㄧ次生氣是什麼時候 記不記得？

I don't. Mom and Dad say I shouldn't get angry.

小朋友回答：

Our teacher says it's bad to get angry."

「我不知道。」

As we can see, nobody seems to like having emotions.

「沒有，爸媽說不可以生氣。」

Why hasn't evolution just gotten rid of them?

「老師說，生氣是不好的。」

How have they managed to survive until today?

情緒，這樣子一個不被人愛、

There are many reasons.

沒有人要的東西。

An important one is that they can save lives.

為什麼，它在演化的過程當中，

Maybe not as many lives as the previous speakers have,

還沒有被淘汰掉？

but they can still save lives.

為什麼它還可以存留到今天呢？

(Laughter)

原因很多，

I once had a patient

很重要的一個，是它可以救命。

who was a successful career woman on Wall Street.

也許救的，沒有像 前幾位講者那麼多。

She first came to me hoping to get to know herself better

但是還是可以救命。 （笑聲）

so she could develop her leadership skills and become a better leader.

我曾經有ㄧ個病人，

She shared with me that when working in a male-dominated environment,

是紐約華爾街上的女強人。

you can't reveal your weaknesses and frailties.

她ㄧ開始來找我， 是希望能夠更認識自己，

After a long time working like this, you learn to suppress your emotions.

能夠發展她的領導能力， 使她成為一個更好的領導者。

During the time I counseled her, she started having marital problems.

她跟我分享，在這樣一個 以男性為主的環境上班，

Her relationship with her husband became unstable.

是不可以顯露出自己軟弱 或脆弱的一面的。

One time during a fight,

所以長期下來，

he picked up a glass from the table and flung it at her.

會需要壓抑這方面的情緒。

She quickly got out of the way.

在我們諮商的過程當中， 她的婚姻起了變化，

The glass hit the wall,

跟先生的感情，變得不穩定。

and there were shards of glass everywhere.

在一次爭吵的過程當中，

Afterwards, I asked her a question

她先生拿起桌上的玻璃杯， 就朝她砸了過去。

that all psychologists eventually ask their patients:

她很快的閃開了，

"How did you feel?"

玻璃杯砸到牆上，

"How did you feel?"

碎片一地都是。

She said, "I felt angry. How can he treat me like this?"

那時候我問了她一句

I said, "What else?"

所有心理醫生 遲早都會問病人的問題。

She said "I felt hopeless.

How did you feel ?

When I first married him, he wasn't like this."

你有什麼感覺啊？

Are there any emotions

她說：「我很生氣， 你怎麼可以對我這樣子啊！」

that you think you'd have in this situation,

我說：「還有呢？」

that she hadn't mentioned?

她說：「我也很失望。 這個人，當初我嫁給他的時候，

Fear.

不是這個樣子的。」

What happens when we're scared?

請問，有沒有哪一些情緒， 是你們認為在這樣的情境底下，

We flee.

應該有，而她沒有講到的？

What happens when we are angry?

害怕。

We attack the other person.

害怕的時候我們會怎麼樣？

If we can't correctly identify our emotions,

逃跑。

instead of running away in fear,

生氣的時候，又可能怎麼做呢？

we might think we're angry and attack someone;

攻擊對方。

this can lead to very serious consequences.

這時候如果情緒辨識錯誤， 我們應該害怕而逃跑的時候，

This woman had stifled

卻以為我們很生氣， 而去攻擊對方，

and ran away from her emotions and insecurities for so long

可能會產生很嚴重的後果。

that she had forgotten what it is to feel fear.

這位女強人，長期的壓抑、 甚至轉移她脆弱、軟弱的情緒。

Her situation was urgent,

以至於她已經不知道， 害怕是什麼感覺了。

and I couldn't teach her in such a short time

情況有點緊急，

how to experience fear again.

我不能在很短的時間之內， 叫她重新經歷害怕的感受。

So I don't have the chance to reestablish this kind of "circuit" in her brain.

更沒有這樣子的機會， 讓她在大腦當中，

This is a diagram of the brain, the one you've just seen.

重新建立這樣的迴路。

When we experience fear,

這是一張大腦的圖， 剛剛之前你們已經看過了。

the information from the body's five senses -

在這個害怕經歷的時候呢，

what we see, what we hear and so on -

其實我們的身體， 是經由我們五官，

is passed from the thalamus

眼睛看到的、耳朵聽到的等等，

to the sensory cortex for processing.

把周圍相關的資訊， 經過我們的視丘，

The hippocampus, which is in charge of memory,

傳到我們的感覺皮質去做處理。

will download the relevant information from the situation

剛剛所提到的， 海馬迴負責記憶，

and send it to the amygdala for comparison.

就會下載跟這些情境相關的記憶，

The amygdala stores our previous experiences of fear.

把它送到杏仁核去做比對。

It evaluates the level of danger compared to past experiences

杏仁核裡面儲存的是我們 過去緊急和害怕的經驗。

and then orders the hypothalamus to make an appropriate response.

比對之後杏仁核會決定危險的程度，

You can see that in this circuit,

然後再命令 我們的 hypothalamus，

past experiences and memories play a very important role.

下視丘，去做適當的回應。

But we didn't have enough time to reestablish it.

大家可以看到，在這樣的迴路當中，

So we could only work on awareness and recognition.

過去的經驗跟記憶， 會扮演非常重要的角色。

I told this woman, "The next time this happens,

而這個時候，沒有時間 再重新建立這樣的迴路了。

no matter how you feel, you have to call 911 immediately."

所以我們只好從認知著手。

We went over it repeatedly,

告訴這位女強人， 下一次這種情況發生的時候，

and in the end, there was a time when they fought again.

你不管心裡面有什麼感覺， 請你馬上打電話給 911（報警）。

This time, her husband grabbed a knife.

我們不斷的演練，反覆的練習，

Afterwards, she told me she was angry at the time,

結果真的有一次，他們又吵架了。

she looked at him and hesitated for a few seconds,

這一次，他先生 拿出來的就是一把刀。

but because of what we practiced, she eventually called 911.

事後，她跟我說當時她很生氣，

Fortunately, the police arrived within 7 minutes

看著他，猶豫了好幾秒鐘， 但是因為我們練習了好幾次，

and tragedy was avoided.

最終她還是打了電話給 911。

Emotions can direct our actions and decide their consequences.

還好警察在七分鐘之內， 就到達了現場。

Correctly identifying emotions can save your life.

避免了一個悲劇的發生。

Of course, this is a more extreme example.

情緒，可以主導我們的行為、 決定行為的後果。

On the less extreme side,

正確的辨識情緒，是可以救命的。

our research keeps telling us that our physical and mental health,

當然這是個比較極端的例子。

our academic achievements and job performance,

在比較不極端的一方面， 我們過去的研究不斷的顯示，

our leadership skills and creativity

情緒跟我們的身體、心理健康，

are all intimately related to our emotions.

跟我們的學習、工作表現、

But what exactly are emotions?

領導力、創造力， 都有密切直接的關係。

In fact, they're a kind of feeling,

但是，情緒到底是什麼呢？

our own subjective experience.

其實，它就是一種感覺。

They can be influenced by many things.

一種屬於我們個人主觀的感受。

Like our thoughts and opinions.

它會被很多東西影響。

They can also lead to different actions, like attacking someone.

例如，我們的想法。

"I'm so angry because I think you tricked me!

它也會造成一些不同的行為反應， 就像打人。

So I'm going to hit you."

我很生氣，因為我認為你騙我了。

My thinking could be wrong because I misunderstood you.

所以我就打你。

My behavior could also be wrong,

我的認知可能有誤， 因為我誤會你了。

because I shouldn't hit people when I'm angry.

我的行為可能不對， 因為再生氣也不能打人啊！

But feelings themselves aren't right or wrong,

但是，感受本身， 是沒有是非、對錯、好壞的。

correct or incorrect, good or bad.

在美國，常常聽到人家講一句話。

In the United States, you'll often hear people say,

You shouldn't feel that way.

"You shouldn't feel that way."

你不應該有這種感覺。

I hate it when people say that.

我很不喜歡聽到這句話，

It's like if I said to you, "I'm so cold!"

這就好比我跟你說：「我好冷噢！」

And you replied, "Then stop feeling cold!"

你說：「欸，你不應該這麼冷耶！」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

This is your own subjective experience.

這個是屬於你個人的主觀感受，

Nobody has the right to tell you

沒有人有權利可以告訴你，

that what you're experiencing is right or wrong, good or bad.

你這樣的感受，是對還是不對、 是好還是不好。

At this point you might ask,

這時候你可能會想到，

"Are you saying that the criminals in prison

監獄裡面的暴力犯。

got there just because of emotional problems?"

不就是情緒出了問題， 才會做出這些事嗎？

I remember when I was in Taipei Prison evaluating them,

我回想到在臺北監獄裡面， 給他們做評估的時候。

I asked them the same kind of question:

我會問同樣的犯人同樣的問題：

"How did you feel when you did this?"

「你當時做這樣事情的時候， 什麼感覺啊？」

They immediately responded, "I know. Pissed off!"

他們不加思索，很快的就說： 「知道啊！就不爽（台語）。」

Then I asked, "So what could you do to feel a little better?"

我繼續問：「那要怎麼樣做 你才會感覺比較好一點呢？」

They said, "I know!" right away.

他說：「知道啊！」也是不加思索。

"I felt much better after beating them up."

「我把他扁一頓就好過多了。」

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

On the other hand, when I ask college students, "How do you feel?"

相對的，我們的大學生，

They say, "I don't know."

當我在問他們，你有什麼感覺？

(Laughter)

大學生說：「我不知道。」

"Then, what could you do to feel better?"

（笑聲）

"I don't know ..."

「那要怎麼樣做 你才會感覺好一點呢？」

(Laughter)

「不知道啊……」

So it would appear

（笑聲）

that the prison inmates are much better at identifying and regulating emotions

這樣子看來，監獄裡面的受刑人，

than college students.

好像真的比我們的大學生， 在情緒的辨識跟調控方面，

The problem is how you express your emotions.

都要好了很多。

All feelings are okay.

問題是出自於 你如何表達你的情緒。

But even though it's okay to get angry, I shouldn't hit people.

所有的感受都是 OK 的。

We taught elementary students about EQ, emotional quotient.

但是，我是可以生氣，但不能打人。

How to correctly identify your emotions,

我們教導小學生情緒智商， 這也是很重要的一環。

and the correct way of expressing them.

如何正確辨識你的情緒，

All feelings are okay.

而學習正確的方式 將它表達出來。

That doesn't mean all perceptions are true or that all behaviors are acceptable,

所有的感覺都是 OK 的。

but all feelings are okay.

並不是所有的認知都是正確的、 所有的行為都是可以接受的，

Even though all feelings are subjective experiences,

但所有感覺都是 OK 的。

there are a few fundamental emotions

雖然，所有的感覺 都是我們主觀的感受，

that every person will frequently have.

還是有一些，我們所謂的基本情緒，

This goes across cultures.

是每一個人，經常性都會擁有的。

Today, if you met someone

這是跨文化的。

with a completely different background, culture, or language,

今天當你在面對一個，

you'd still be able to correctly identify the six fundamental emotions

跟你生活背景、個性、 甚至語言都完全不一樣的人的時候，

through their facial expressions.

我們還是可以在他們的面部表情上，

Other emotions can be hard to distinguish because of cultural differences,

正確的辨識出，這基本的六種情緒。

but everyone will frequently have these fundamental emotions.

其他的情緒，可能會因為文化、 生長背景不同而有所差異。

Every time I talk about this in Chinese,

但是基本情緒是個人、 每一個人經常性都會有的。

I'll hear people whisper the phrase "Happiness, anger, sorrow, joy."

每一次用中文講到這邊的時候，

(Laughter)

就會聽到有人在底下竊竊私語：

Happiness and joy are the same thing!

喜怒愛樂。

So since we speak Chinese, we can guess those three.

（笑聲）

What about the other three?

喜跟樂是同一個系統的。

Surprise. Fear. Disgust.

所以因為我們會講中文， 可以猜到三個基本情緒。

Everyone regularly experiences these emotions.

其他三個呢？

But the intensity and outward expression of these emotions

驚訝、憤怒、噁心。

will vary from person to person, and also depending on the situation.

每ㄧ個人，經常性， 都會經歷這樣的情緒。

I once had a colleague who was a developmental psychologist.

但是，所經歷的程度跟表達的方式，

He was also a very typical American.

會因人而異。

He once asked me, "Hey, how often do you cry?"

也會因情況不同而有所不同。

I said, "One or two times a year.

我也曾經有個同事，

Maybe three."

他是兒童心理學家，

He said, "Ah! That's so unhealthy!"

也是一個很典型的美國人。

(Laughter)

講到這個他就問我，

Obviously you don't think so, right?

欸，你多久哭ㄧ次啊？

I said, "So how many times do you cry in a year?"

我說：

He said, "Three times I cry a little, and five times I cry a lot."

一年，一兩次……也許三次。

(Laughter)

他說：「蛤 ？！那超不健康耶！」

Is that healthier?

（笑聲）

Everyone gets sad, but that's not to say that whenever someone feels sad,

顯然你們不這麼覺得對不對。

they necessarily will cry.

我說，那你一年哭多少次啊？

The intensity and outward expression can differ.

他說：「我是三天一小哭、 五天一大哭。」

I just said, everyone has these emotions regularly.

（笑聲）

Looking at these six emotions,

這樣你有比較健康嗎？

can you tell me, or rather tell yourself,

都是悲傷，並不是每一個人， 每一次感受到悲傷的時候，

when was the last time you had them?

都一定會流淚、甚至大哭。

If you say, "I don't remember,"

程度跟表達的方式，會有所不同。

or you haven't felt them for a few months or a year,

我剛剛講到，這是每一個人， 經常性都會有的。

that doesn't mean you haven't had them;

你們看到這六種情緒，

rather, it means you haven't noticed them.

能夠回答我，甚至回答你自己，

You ignored them,

你最近一次經歷這個情緒， 是什麼時候嗎？

or perhaps you suppressed them or distracted yourself from them.

如果你說，我記不得了，

If we look once more at the six fundamental emotions,

甚至幾個月、一年都沒有了，

only one of them is positive: happiness.

那並不代表你沒有經歷它們，

Surprise can be good or bad.

而是代表你沒有注意到它們的存在。

The other four are all negative.

你忽略了它們的存在， 甚至壓抑或轉移了它們。

Nobody likes negative emotions.

我們再看到了這六種的基本情緒，

They feel bad.

其中只有一種是正向的，就是快樂。

But they still have a reason for existence.

驚訝，可好可壞。

They can warn you and let you know

其他的四種，都是負面的情緒。

that if you don't make some changes, there could be danger.

沒有人喜歡負面的情緒。

It's just like pain.

它感覺不好。

Nobody likes pain.

但是，它們確實有它們存在的價值， 跟它們的必要性。

But if I accidentally put my hand on top of a hot stove

因為它們可以預警，讓我們知道，

and I didn't feel pain, I wouldn't know to withdraw my hand.

如果你再不做一些改變， 可能會有危險啊。

Recently, there has been a worrying trend in developed countries:

就像痛的感覺一樣，

people are trying very hard to avoid having negative emotions.

沒有人喜歡痛。

Recently when I was in the United States, I went into a drugstore.

但今天如果不小心， 把我的手放在熱爐上面，

Their drugstores are a bit like Watsons here in Taiwan.

沒有痛的感覺， 我就不知道要把手抽回來。

They don't just sell medicine there, but also many daily necessities.

很可惜的是，在現在， 特別是已開發的國家。

I couldn't help but take