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  • Unpopular opinion, actually popular opinion, just unpopular publicly declared sentiment.

  • Uh, getting married is not that much fun.

  • You're not allowed to say that, especially if you're a woman, god forbid, over 30.

  • Like, "well your just lucky that the lord sent you someone... to put up with your shit."

  • "Kissing your dog on the mouth, stop taking videos."

  • There is a world where you can admit that something is difficult, but also love the byproduct of it.

  • I love my husband, but the wedding part is exhausting.

  • It is a physical, and mental, and financial, just gauntlet.

  • Even down to the last minute, the wedding itself, the whole year is exhausting planning it, it's fun, you love your mom...

  • But it's a whole thing.

  • But even just the day of, let's talk about the day of, what happened on the day of your wedding, girls?

  • Right?

  • You had to prepare for it, like you woke up early, mmm, just wanna greet the sun.

  • Got up at like six, like when your dad gets up.

  • Up, right?

  • What, you meditated?

  • I just wanna be centered, right?

  • You worked out like it matters day of, it doesn't.

  • It doesn't, you're not gonna lose any weight at the buzzer.

  • It's not gonna... no.

  • It's never gonna happen.

  • What did you do?

  • You did your little workout, and then you got your makeup done, and your nails, and a massage, and a colonic, and a hyperbaric chamber, and a hyperbolic chamber, "oh cause, amazing."

  • And you got a situation room, and a silence cone, and a shame corner, and a Reiki healing, and you went ghost hunting, you did all this stuff.

  • What did your husband do on your wedding day?

  • I'll tell you: he woke up like whenever, went out to eat with his buddies "Something tasty, doesn't matter if I'm fat, cause I'm a funny guy."

  • Who cares if it's bloated?

  • Right?

  • Then he went and got a haircut on the day of the wedding, are you kidding me?

  • What faith you have in this barber?

  • Went out, had a drink, went home, jerked off, took a dump, who says you can't lose weight, right fellas?

  • Who says you can't lose weight the day of?

  • Probably about 500 grams.

  • He took a nap, he woke up to an alarm labeled "Wedding for you?".

  • He barely made it.

Unpopular opinion, actually popular opinion, just unpopular publicly declared sentiment.


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B1 中級 美國腔

伊麗莎-史萊辛格的婚禮前要做的事情清單|Netflix是個笑話。 (Iliza Shlesinger's To Do List Before Your Wedding | Netflix Is A Joke)

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    Seina 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日