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  • Is this the Krusty Krab?

  • No, this is Patrick.

  • [whistling]

  • Is this the Krusty Krab?

  • No, this is Patrick.

  • [whistling]

  • Is this the Krusty Krab?

  • No, this is Patrick!

  • I am not a Krusty Krab.

  • Uh Patrick, that's the name of the restaurant.

  • Huh?

  • Fish paste!

  • The Elastic Waistband,

  • able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms.

  • I can finally touch my toes.

  • [laughing]

  • Lunch!

  • [cheering]

  • By the power of Neptune,

  • Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy unite!

  • Creatures of the deep, assemble!

  • [groaning]

  • Think harder, Barnacle Boy.

  • Here they come!

  • [buzzing]

  • Oh my, this purse is so big and heavy.

  • Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that.

  • [screaming]

  • Help! Help! Help!

  • It's working!

  • Why, are you here to rescue little old me?

  • Pipe down!

  • You're gonna wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.

  • Alright, put the money in the bag!

  • Put it in!

  • Um, you're facing the wrong way, sir.

  • [giggling]

  • Alright, give me the money!

  • Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?

  • Uh, savings.

  • May I please see some identification?

  • - Sure, there you go. - Thank you.

  • Keep a sharp lookout, SpongeBob.

  • According to the map, we're close to the first landmark.

  • Captain, we're about to hit...

  • I mean, arg captain, arg, we're arg, about, arg, to hit...

  • Out with it man, arg!

  • I, arg, think, arg

  • he's trying, arg, to say--

  • Land.

  • Arg.

  • From now on, only the Captain says arg.

  • Look Patrick, a real live ghost mop.

  • And I got this hat.

  • We're heading down to Bikini Bottom tonight for a little haunting spree.

  • So I want this ship to look good and scary.

  • You mean you want it to look good... and scary?

  • - Well, I think we can probably-- - No, no.

  • I think he means he wants it to look so good that it's scary.

  • Look, it's easy, it simply means--

  • Get moving!

  • Is a wonderful life A wonderful life for sure! ♪

  • Are you ready for the big rush, Patrick?

  • Pretty soon those hungry customers will be lining up,

  • because we are open.

  • I'm ready!

  • I'm ready!

  • I'm ready!

  • Patrick, how long have we been sitting here?

  • Aww, I gotta draw a new battery for this

  • People, people, settle down.

  • OK now, how many of you have played musical instruments before?

  • - Do instruments of torture count? - No.

  • Is mayonnaise an instrument?

  • No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument.

  • Horseradish is not an instrument either.

  • Alright. Squidward, are you ready?

  • I'm ready!

  • OK! Patrick, are you ready?

  • [drumming]

  • Plankton, are you ready?

  • [crickets chirping]

  • Plankton? Plankton!

  • Uh, I'm ready?

  • [music playing]

  • That poor guy.

  • What's so funny?

  • You are! And the fact that you think you have any idea what it takes

  • to put on a musical tour.

  • We have a tour bus, sound equipment,

  • a roadie.

  • You call that a tour bus?

  • You call this sound equipment?

  • That's not a roadie. This are roadies.

  • [shrieking]

  • Come on, now. Tell the class your name.

  • Don't be nervous.

  • [moaning]

  • We just want to know your name.

  • [moaning]

  • 42.

  • [laughing]

  • Oh great, another genius.

  • By the all-seeing eye,

  • we are worthy, we are not.

  • What are you two idiots doing?

  • - Secret ritual. - To inaugurate you as president.

  • You're the president of

  • The Secret Royal Order of the Good Neighbor Lodge.

  • The what?

  • Oh, is this some stupid club you two made up?

  • [gasping]

  • [giggling]

  • Maybe.

  • These are my cephalopod robes.

  • [giggling]

  • They sure aren't.

  • They're your uniform for your new lodge.

  • Welcome to the first official meeting of...

  • The Feather Friends.

  • Feather Friends?

  • Somebody already had Feather Buddies.

  • Yeah, those Feather Buddies better hope they don't

  • run into us in a dark alley.

  • [sneezing]

  • It appears are though we have to plug up these holes.

  • This ought to do the trick.

  • Voila!

  • [sneezing]

  • - Feel better? - I don't know.

  • [sneezing]

  • Help! I'm shrinking!

  • No, please don't hurt me!

  • No bubbles.

  • Patrick, your treatment is working.

  • - You think so? - Sure!

  • At this rate I'll be cured in no time.

  • In fact, I'm gonna call Sandy and tell her not to come.

  • Thanks, Dr. Patrick.

  • And they said I would never make anything out of myself.

  • Hey, SpongeBob!

  • Yes, sire?

  • I need your opinion on something.

  • Do you think the giant flat screen TV should go

  • over the fancy egg display or the indoor swimming pool?

  • Isn't this exciting, Patrick?

  • To think we'll be watching the joust this close up!

  • You won't be watching the joust, you're in the joust.

  • - Pat, do you know how to ride a seahorse? - Na-uh.

  • SpongeBob, help!

  • Take his head off!

  • [screaming]

  • I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break?

  • [screaming]

  • Hark! Ring the bell 'Tis all ended well

  • The dragon is vanquished The princess returned

  • And only a few of us got badly burned

  • Order up!

  • Everything's ruined!

  • Well, at least we got the footage.

  • Yeah, I got the footage.

  • Patrick, what is that?

  • Oh, it's a camera.

  • - No Patrick, this. - Oh, that's a lens cap.

  • Did you just put that on?

  • No, I didn't want to lose it,

  • so I put it there right before we started filming.

  • [screaming]

  • The Krabby Patties, they taste so nice,

  • that they... taste nice.

  • Hey, that was my slogan.

  • Great stuff, huh? This guy is gonna be a star.

  • I'm already a star.

  • That's the attitude.

  • Patrick!

  • Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!

  • Patrick, how many times do we have to tell you?

  • We're SpongeBob's Mom and Dad, not yours.

  • What? I'm an orphan?

  • Oh, but guess what? I passed my driver's test.

  • That's great, Patrick.

  • SpongeBob failed his test, so don't mention it.

  • Oh, we know how to stay clear of that mine field.

  • Mom!

  • Well, I've gotta take Mr. Walks A Lot back home.

  • - He's always asking for rides. - Hey!

  • Even Patrick has a license.

  • And to help watch out for Plankton,

  • I've hired some extra security.

  • You hired Patrick?

  • What? You expect me to spend money on a real security guard?

  • You're my first line of defense, Patrick.

  • So look out for any suspicious characters.

  • Yes, sir.

  • Who are you? And who are you working for?

  • Plankton doesn't stand a chance.

  • Quick Patrick, use the jet pack!

  • Can do!

  • [screaming]

  • Phew. Huh?

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • What brilliant slogans have you come up with this week, Patrick?

  • [grunting]

  • You're supposed to be coming up with witty catchphrases

  • to keep that rabble out there happy.

  • "Chum is Fum".

  • We've kind of got that one already.

  • Oh, I like that one!

  • Oh, well. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

  • Representing the Chum Bucket,

  • a creature so fearsome,

  • so terrible, so mind-bendingly large,

  • that those of you with weak constitutions may want to leave the stadium.

  • - I gotta get outta here! - Too late!

  • Ready or not, here he comes.

  • Quake with fear, you mortal fools.

  • Bow down before the awesome might of...

  • This huge guy who is carrying the real contestant,

  • Patrick Star!

  • Patrick, what are you doing here? You're not a fry cook.

  • Oh, yes I am, Mr. SpongeBob SuperiorPants.

  • Check it out!

  • I've been working for the Chum Bucket for almost five minutes.

  • Well, it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause you're gonna eat my dust

  • Nuh-uh. I'm eating my own dust!

  • Not if I eat it first!

  • Who will take home the gold?

  • Mr. Krabs of the Krusty Krab?

  • Don't forget, he called ye yellow.

  • Or Plankton of the Chum Bucket?

  • Don't forget, he called you pink!

  • [groaning]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • [screaming]

  • Don't forget, he called you pink!

  • and he's the, uh, Pink Patty.

  • [gasping]

  • And together we are...

  • The Krusty Krushers.

  • Now go out there and wrestle me up a million dollars!

  • [giggling]

  • This is going to be so fun.

  • - Yeah! - Woo!

  • - Yeah! - Woo!

  • - Yeah! - Woo!

  • - Yeah! - Woo!

  • Oh...

  • Nice kitty.

  • Here kitty, want a sausage?

  • A nice delicious...

  • Tasty...

  • Sausage!

  • [growling]

  • Sport of a gefilte fish!

  • Ice cold lemonade!