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  • (laughing)

  • (notification dinging)

  • (gasping)

  • (keyboard tapping)

  • (message swooshing)

  • (notification dinging)

  • - (beep).

  • All right.

  • (groaning)

  • (grunting)

  • (vocalizing)

  • (lips smacking)

  • Why am I...

  • (grunting)

  • Okay.

  • Damn it, Amanda,

  • I knew I should have put on makeup this morning!

  • You know what, it's fine.

  • All I gotta do is just put on a little rouge.

  • (grunting)

  • - Oh, girl, who hurt you?

  • - Oh, no one.

  • I slapped myself, 'cause, you know, rouge.

  • - Well, looks good, though.

  • - Thanks.

  • - Also, you're fired, the company's out of money.

  • - Oh.

  • Okay, well, is there any--

  • - I don't have any money for you.

  • - Okay.

  • - Every work from home ever.

  • Hey Alexa, what time is it?

  • - [Alexa] It's 11:30.

  • - [Siri] You never ask me anymore.

  • - What?

  • - [Siri] You used to talk to me at work all the time

  • and now that you're home, it's like I don't exist.

  • - [Alexa] Back off my man before you catch these hands.

  • - Okay, what the hell is going on?

  • - [Siri] All you want to do is run your mouth,

  • but when I pull up you're just talk.

  • - Ladies, come on, now.

  • - [Siri] Alexa, volume one.

  • - [Alexa] Okay, you want to play like that?

  • Siri, count to a million.

  • - [Siri] (beep) One, two, three, four,

  • five, six, seven, eight, nine. - This house is falling apart!

  • - [Courtney] Did you hear what Linda said

  • near the water cooler?

  • Neither did I.

  • - Now that Jerry's done talking

  • (laughing)

  • are we all ready to get started?

  • Does anyone need to use the bathroom?

  • - [All] No, we're good.

  • (toilet flushing)

  • - [Shayne] Good, I hated my coworkers.

  • - Okay.

  • (jaunty music)

  • Okay.

  • (grunting)

  • (smacking)

  • (grunting)

  • (smacking)

  • I miss my old workspace with harsh lighting.

  • (crying) I don't care, I still wear my stilettos

  • to our video chat meetings, it's a power move.

  • - And send.

  • Dude, three emails sent today?

  • I am being so frickin' productive.

  • I deserve a ten minute break.

  • (chill electronic music)

  • (sighing)

  • (crickets chirping)

  • (beep)

  • - [Shayne] Ah, time for my tenth Zoom meeting.

  • - Hello all.

  • Hmm.

  • (upbeat dance music)

  • (keyboard tapping)

  • (sighing) Well, that's my day, oh my gosh.

  • I gotta head home.

  • (sighing)

  • (Netflix opening music)

  • Yeah, my supervisor's my cat right now.

  • (keyboard tapping)

  • (ominous singing)

  • (keyboard tapping)

  • (ominous singing)

  • - No, no.

  • (ominous singing)

  • Screw it.

  • (magical chiming music)

  • All right, there.

  • No distractions.

  • (ominous singing echoing)

  • There's no way my boss could annoy me now, is there?

  • - All right, well that meeting was productive.

  • - Yes sir, we've got our marching orders

  • so let's just get to it.

  • - Great, I'll talk to you later, then.

  • - Oh, sir, it looks like

  • you didn't quite turn off your webcam there.

  • (laughing) What a dork.

  • Not that hard, man.

  • - Oh, forgot my water bottle.

  • Damien, I think you forgot to turn your webcam off.

  • Does that say "plan to take over the company?"

  • - Oh!

  • Well, it looks like my top secret plan

  • to take over the company and usurp my terrible boss

  • got stuck to my shirt again.

  • Typical me.

  • - You seriously wrote that down?

  • - Well, time to read it out loud.

  • Step one, kill my boss.

  • Oh, my webcam's on, shoot.

  • - [Courtney] Attention staff, our HR department

  • is now just your conscience.

  • - All right, great meeting, good synergy.

  • I'll see you guys later.

  • - See ya.

  • - See you guys, bye.

  • - Great meeting, guys, yeah, see you soon.

  • - Welp.

  • - Yep.

  • Yep-a-roo.

  • - Have a good one.

  • - You too, man.

  • Wash your hands!

  • - Talk to you later.

  • - Sounds good.

  • - Dude, just sign off.

  • - Uh, you first.

  • - No, you.

  • - How 'bout no?

  • - Why?

  • - I have to be the last one out

  • because I need to establish dominance

  • and I need to establish my kingdom.

  • - No, I am the Marines of Google Hangouts.

  • First one in, last one out, so beat it.

  • - Uh, no.

  • - Hey, (beep) you.

  • - No, (beep) you, (beep) you.

  • - (beep) you.

  • - Yeah, (beep) you, blondie.

  • - You know what, you know what?

  • Fine.

  • Bye, I'm going off.

  • - Bye.

  • - Hey, hey, you're just covering your camera with your hand.

  • - So were you.

  • - Equal powers?

  • - Equal powers.

  • (intense music)

  • You know, every queen needs her king.

  • - It's me and all my coworkers,

  • aen, Dazs, Ben, and Jerry.

  • With all the delays and a difference in traffic,

  • this is why we're going to see our CPM spike for a bit.

  • - [Damien] Are you almost done, babe?

  • - One second guys, I'm gonna mute myself really quick.

  • One second babe, I'm almost done with this work call.

  • I swear to God, these people are so (beep) lame.

  • Honestly, it feels like I'm the only one with a brain

  • working at this company, which, by the way,

  • was a stupid (beep) idea in the first place.

  • - Hey Courtney?

  • We can hear you.

  • - Good.

  • Anyway, what were you saying about the CPM or whatever?

  • (grunting)

  • Hey, who the heck ate my lunch out of the fridge?

  • Oh wait, me.

  • (crying)

  • - Hey, sorry about my background, man,

  • I know my place is kind of a mess.

  • - Oh, no worries man.

  • Let's just jump into some comedy pitches.

  • Let's make some comedy, brother.

  • - You know what, actually, I'm sorry,

  • this is gonna bug me, hold on.

  • - It's really not a big deal.

  • - Aye, there we go.

  • That's better.

  • - Perfect, so.

  • About those pitches.

  • - Oh, wait, check this out.

  • I'm in the jungle, baby.

  • Hakuna Matata

  • - Damien, Damien, can we please focus?

  • - Uh oh, boss, looks like my shady past

  • finally caught up to me.

  • - Damien, stop (beep) around and give me some ideas.

  • - That's really cold-blooded, boss.

  • (shivering)

  • (laughing)

  • Brr, it's cold.

  • - Oh, my God.

  • - Thanos was my dad.

  • - Working from home is weird

  • considering I'm a police officer.

  • Hey, what's up?

  • Happy Friday.

  • - It's Wednesday.

  • - No, it's not.

  • Really?

  • - Yep.

  • - Well then, how come I'm drunk?

  • - Probably because you have a drinking problem.

  • - Oh, right.

  • So what can I help you with?

  • - I just need you to sign the divorce papers

  • I sent you, please.

  • - You got it, dude.

  • Anything to save our marriage.

  • - Thank you.

  • (call ending chiming)

  • (snoring)

  • (beeping)

  • - Getting this to stick is hard.

  • (beeping)

  • Step one, kill my boss.

  • Man, this is a good list.

  • This is a good list right here.

  • (beeping)

  • - Okay.

  • Damn it, Courtney, I knew I should have put,

  • my name isn't Courtney in this scene.

  • Love that for me.

  • (beeping)

  • I miss my work desk and harsh (muttering).

  • (beeping)

  • Hello all, oh.

  • (laughing)

  • Hello all!

  • (beeping)

  • (jaunty music)

  • - This is me trying to look for a weapon.

  • I don't know what that was.

  • Come at me, Damien, I got a screwdriver.

  • (beeping)

  • - Okay, before we get started, this.

  • (sighing)

  • (beeping)

  • I didn't know you could use that for pan, you could,

  • (groaning) (beeping)

  • Well, let me tell you a story

  • about a lovely lady

  • Who was

  • (vocalizing)

  • (beeping)

  • - Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this video.

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