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  • All right, guys.

  • Good call.

  • See you next week.

  • (SHOUTING) Hey, hon, can I get, like, five minutes?

  • Huh?

  • The kids are a little much right now.

  • [FUNK MUSIC]

  • I'm not that worried about it.

  • It's not that crucial, honestly.

  • It's one quarter, guys.

  • You know what?

  • Can you all just give me a minute?

  • Just I got to go outside.

  • [GRUNTS]

  • What were you saying?

  • [SMALL ENGINE WHINING]

  • Oh, come on, Bill.

  • You got to trim the hedges now?

  • [FUNK MUSIC]

  • Maybe we should watch a show.

  • Duh.

  • Hey, didn't you wear that yesterday?

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • (MANIC TONE) I can't wait to watch another rerun

  • of the championship.

  • Who do you think's going to win?

  • I know, Alabama.

  • The entire Harry Potter series is even better upside down.

  • That'd be, like, crazy if, like, a wife fed their husband

  • to a tiger, right?

  • Yeah, that'd be really crazy.

  • Like--

  • [MUSIC STOPS]

  • I mean, like, you would never do that.

  • [NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

  • (DISMISSIVELY) No.

  • Right?

  • Right.

  • [NERVOUS CHUCKLE]

  • OK, you didn't say anything, so I was like--

  • [FUNK MUSIC]

  • [BEEP]

  • Beginning sanitation process.

  • [HISSING]

  • Honey, I'm home.

  • Start the three-day countdown on these groceries.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • I always knew I was a LEGO guy.

  • You got to try ribs.

  • They take up, like, half your day.

  • The two greatest whip-crackers to ever

  • live, Indiana Jones and soon-to-be me.

  • Who knew working on engines was so fun?

  • [WHIP CRACKS]

  • (SHOUTING) Hah!

  • Did you get a load of that, Bill?

  • No one cared who I was till I put on the mask.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • This one's pretty good.

  • I just forgot to make eye holes.

  • Got attacked by birds in the parking lot.

  • Best one yet, but not super breathable.

  • Who knew a pot lid would work--

  • [SNEEZES]

  • I didn't think about that.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Hey, man.

  • You can just leave it right there.

  • Good seeing you.

  • Yeah, you too.

  • Enjoy the day.

  • I just cleared this an hour ago.

  • I'm going to eat so healthy.

  • By the time this is over, my friends

  • won't even recognize me.

  • It's not like this thing's going to last for a month,

  • so this is just a quick detour.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • (SHOUTING) Mom, DoorDash says my Blizzard's here.

  • They're at the door right now.

  • Hey, want some pizza.

  • Oh, this is a biscuit.

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • Here you go.

  • No, that's mine.

  • I don't share.

  • [CHUCKLES]

  • Everybody's thinking it's China.

  • But you know who's really been quiet about all this?

  • Canada.

  • Think about that.

  • This is a 5G cell tower problem.

  • You know, everybody's blaming bats.

  • But I'm not sure it's not just kale chips and almond butter.

  • I'm still holding strong, it ain't from this planet.

  • (FROM OTHER ROOM) Babe, we need you.

  • So does my squad.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Night, love.

  • [LIGHT CLICKS OFF]

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • All right, boys.

  • Where we dropping?

  • Gym's closed, but not this gym.

  • [SMACK]

  • [GURGLING]

  • (SHOUTING) Dig, dig, come on.

  • Your mom is weak.

  • Your mom is Netflixing right now.

  • (BELLOWING) Come on.

  • Arm circles, Lucy.

  • Arm circles.

  • Lucy, listen to your sister.

  • Arm circles.

  • John.

  • Adam.

  • Good to see you, my man.

  • You too.

  • How's the family?

  • Never better.

  • Awesome.

  • Hey, enjoy it.

  • Stay safe out there.

  • Yeah, you too.

  • Expecto patronum.

  • Expecto patronum.

  • How's your mom?

  • Great.

  • She's doing good.

  • Adam, how's it going, man?

  • I'm good, John.

  • How are you?

  • Great.

  • [SLURPING NOISE]

  • Good to see you.

  • Yeah, you too.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Yeah, it's time.

  • [SNIPPING]

  • (DEJECTED) Oh, I didn't know I had a mole there.

  • Oh, wow.

  • What's photosynthesis?

  • So, um, photosynthesis--

  • Plants.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Photosynthesis, just to explain it quickly and easily to you

  • guys, is the process by which green plants

  • and some other organisms use sunlight to synthesize food

  • from carbon dioxide and water.

  • So--

  • [CLAPS]

  • --next question.

  • [RECORDER PLAYING CLOSING STRAINS OF "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"]

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Package delivery.

  • You want me to bring it in?

  • Yeah, that'd be great.

  • Have a good one, Codes.

  • Oh, Ty?

  • I could barely recognize you.

  • Was it the mask?

  • Well, no.

  • Pretty good TP tower you got there.

  • (STAMMERING) They were gifts.

  • You guys aren't, like, one of those stockpiler families,

  • right?

  • Oh, us?

  • No.

  • We-- no.

  • Box was pretty light.

  • What was in this one?

  • Those are light bulbs.

  • Light bulbs?

  • Light bulbs.

  • Not toilet paper, right?

  • No.

  • Why don't I cut it open?

  • No, you don't need to check.

  • It's not a heavy lift for me, honestly.

  • Can you please not?

  • Ty.

  • So if I take this box, tip it upside down,

  • there'll be shattered glass everywhere.

  • (DEFENSIVELY) OK.

  • Hey, how are those at-home workouts going?

  • You talking to me?

  • No, the other chubby guy behind you.

  • There's not another--

  • [ROARING]

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • [SHOUTING UNINTELLIGIBLY]

  • (SHOUTING) Let's see if this spaceship can fly.

  • [CRASH]

  • [SHOUTING CONTINUES]

  • This is the only thing that kept me from going crazy.

  • What have you got out here?

  • Don't touch it.

  • [BANGING]

  • [GLASS SHATTERS]

  • Oh, gosh.

  • [CRASH]

  • That was a limited edition.

  • Oh, you know what?

  • I think I chipped your paint right here.

  • [SPRAY PAINT HISSES]

  • He knows where I live now.

  • I hate this place!

  • [BELLOWING]

  • I'll give you a box of donuts to stop.

  • [BELLOWING]

  • [CRASH]

  • Oh, come on!

  • I'm never going to financially recover from this.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • (SINGING) I'm a savage.

  • Classy, bougie, ratchet.

  • Man, I nailed that one.

  • Son, would you help me put this on the new Tic Tac app?

  • Yeah, absolutely.

  • [SMASH]

  • (SHOUTING) No.

  • Wow, that was really ratchet.

  • Neighborhood stroll number 14.

  • Killing our daily step totals.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Never seen Buzzcut here pre-quarantine.

  • (NERVOUSLY) Oh, yep, hey, ooh.

  • Get on this side, get on this side.

  • Distance, please.

  • We got a baby.

  • Say, hey, we should hang out when this is all lifted.

  • Yeah, well, yeah, after, for sure, for sure.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • Get it, get it, get it.

  • Come on.

  • [SPRAYING]

  • OK, get it.

  • [SPRAYING]

  • You amateurs.

  • We already sprayed our eggs.

  • See a dog, post a dog.

  • You guys ever seen a dog?

  • I know I'm just a regular guy, but I'd

  • like to nominate Leonardo DiCaprio, Post Malone,

  • and let's go Oprah.

  • See a rock, sit on a rock.

  • (TO SELF) That one's kind of silly.

  • I might not post that.

  • This is going to be so fun.

  • I cannot believe we just did that.

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • [DOG BARKING]

  • Don't look at me.

  • [SQUISH]

  • Ugh.

  • (MIMICKING WIFE) Oh, I think it's great time to get a dog.

  • Yeah, I'm sure.

  • Ho ho ho ho.

  • (SHOUTING) Honey!

  • [R&B MUSIC]

  • All right, we got everybody?

  • Awesome.

  • Thanks for hopping on, guys.

  • We'll try and keep this quick.