Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • -And finally, we're all

  • coping with quarantine as best we can,

  • trying to get some work done, homeschooling our kids,

  • ad a lot of us are gettin' outside

  • to get some much-needed exercise,

  • but it seems like not everyone is being smart about it,

  • which brings us to a segment we call "Hey!"

  • ♪♪

  • Hey! Joggers.

  • It's scary enough, bein' out in the world right now,

  • without one of you stompin' up from behind,

  • panting and gasping. It's like a horror movie,

  • except Jason had the decency to wear a mask.

  • And, hey, a lotta people carry the virus,

  • even when they don't have symptoms.

  • You could be crop dusting us with corona.

  • When Nike says "Just do it,"

  • they don't mean mass murder.

  • And, hey, I know you think, if you're super healthy,

  • you don't have corona and, therefore,

  • you can't spread it, but how can you be sure?

  • Think about it -- the symptoms are:

  • a sore throat, difficult breathing,

  • and a higher body temperature and, last I checked,

  • those are also the symptoms of jogging.

  • And, hey, what is wrong with you?

  • You, for once, have the perfect excuse not to go jogging.

  • What are you trying to prove?

  • You're out there in the rain.

  • You're out there in the snow.

  • There could be a meteor headed

  • directly for Earth and your reaction would be,

  • "I can still get in a few miles before I'm vaporized."

  • Hey, just an idea -- why don't you stay home

  • and jog in place, like you do at every red light?

  • And, yeah, we notice when you do that.

  • And, hey, how is it possible

  • that you know your exact body mass index

  • and you know your average heart rate

  • and you know your VO2 max,

  • but you still don't know what six feet is?

  • Let me help. It's at least three

  • of those weird lunge stretches you do

  • to let the world know you're a runner,

  • the way a peacock lets the opposite sex know

  • they're ready to mate. You know, it's like this thing.

  • Like that, you go like that, and all the way back.

  • That's like two feet.

  • And then three more.

  • And then that would be -- You get it.

  • Hey, this isn't easy for me to say

  • because I'm also a runner.

  • In fact, I personally run

  • a couple of mar-- -No one cares!

  • -What?

  • How did you hear me from downstairs?

  • Very rude to interrupt with that.

  • And, hey, if you absolutely have to get out there and jog,

  • put on a mask. I know. I know,

  • that makes it harder to breathe,

  • but you know what else makes it harder to breathe?

  • Jogging. You apparently love it when it's hard to breathe,

  • so why not up your game?

  • Put on two masks.

  • Turn on the hot water in your shower

  • and run in circles in your bathroom until you pass out.

  • And, hey!

  • Hey, bikers? You're just as bad.

  • All you are is a jogger who wants to do it sitting down.

  • Actually, you're worse, because you come up behind us

  • before we have a chance to move.

  • I swear, long after this pandemic is over,

  • I'm still gonna be diving into bushes

  • every time I hear a little bell and that stinks

  • because I love the sound of a little bell.

  • This has been "Hey!"

  • ♪♪

-And finally, we're all

字幕與單字

影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

B1 中級

嘿!冠狀病毒大流行慢跑者。 (Hey! Coronavirus Pandemic Joggers)

  • 0 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字