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  • - Hello!

  • - Hi!

  • - I'm Jessica.

  • - And I'm Claudia.

  • - And we are the lesbian stereotype

  • who moved in together on the third date

  • and got engaged after, like, four months

  • and got married quite quickly

  • and spend every moment of every day together.

  • Much like most people are doing in the lockdown right now.

  • - Good thing we liked it; good thing we like it.

  • - Good thing we enjoy each other.

  • Saw a tweet the other day that was like,

  • "All relationships are now either long distance or 24/7."

  • So now we are all lesbians.

  • But we thought in this period of

  • enforced isolation together...

  • It's actually amazing and I love it!

  • - I know; I was like,

  • "We probably only have, like, six weeks more together."

  • (laughs)

  • - Yeah, we got sad the other day

  • thinking about life returning to normal

  • and Claudia having to go to work.

  • (pretends to cry)

  • - I was like, "Oh."

  • Like, where was it?

  • Norway.

  • No, Denmark. - Yeah, Denmark.

  • - Denmark is, like, lessened its lockdown already

  • and I was like, "Oh, maybe that will happen here,"

  • and I was like, "Oh, I'm not sure how I feel about that."

  • (both laugh)

  • - Oh no, we'll have to spend eight hours a day apart again.

  • We thought we'd check just to make sure

  • that we actually do know each other

  • as well as we think we do.

  • - Yeah, I mean, how long have we been together?

  • - Five and a half years.

  • Quite a while.

  • - We should know each other pretty well

  • and we spend all of our time together pretty much.

  • - Yeah, I'm not sure there's anything

  • we don't talk about, as well,

  • which is, like, amusing because I'm deaf

  • and Claudia can't speak particularly well.

  • - But I'm not bored of you.

  • - Huh?

  • - I'm not bored of you.

  • - I'm not bored of you either.

  • - Oh, good.

  • (kisses)

  • - There are many things that you know about me

  • that I do not know about myself

  • because I have no self-awareness.

  • (laughs)

  • I think if there are any questions in this quiz

  • that come up and you have the wrong answer.

  • - And I'd be like, "No."

  • - It's actually you have the right answer

  • and I input the wrong answer the first time.

  • - I'll just explain to you why you're wrong

  • and you'll be like, "Oh yeah."

  • - So I've done the questions first

  • and now we're gonna see whether Claudia gets them right.

  • - All right.

  • How well do you know Jessica?

  • - Oh, enter your name.

  • - Oh, please enter my name?

  • Beyonce!

  • That's the example, apparently.

  • - Why does it give example Amy and then Beyonce?

  • - Question one:

  • Is the idea of one true love

  • something Jessica can believe in?

  • Yes.

  • - Well...

  • - Question two:

  • Would Jessica rather be without the internet

  • or without a means of transportation?

  • Without means of transportation.

  • (laughs)

  • Where are you going, anyway, in this lockdown?

  • Which extreme travel destination would Jessica prefer?

  • I mean, that's like an oxymoron.

  • - This was a tricky one.

  • - That whole sentence is just wrong.

  • The Sahara Desert, the north pole,

  • the south pole, Amazon jungle.

  • Christ.

  • (laughs)

  • The Amazon jungle?

  • I'm gonna go with that.

  • I don't know.

  • You said the north pole!

  • - I did say the north pole.

  • - Yeah, that makes sense 'cause you could see, like,

  • the aurali borealis and the aurora borealis.

  • - There we go; that's the one!

  • Yeah, so that was only...

  • - Was that the only reason?

  • - The only thing I had.

  • - It's like when you get your marks back for an exam

  • and you're like, "Like, I knew that."

  • - Why did I take that B when I knew it was A?

  • - Question four:

  • Jessica would rather have a partner

  • who eats all the snacks without sharing

  • or who watches all the best Netflix shows alone?

  • Snacks without sharing.

  • - Obviously.

  • I'm a bit annoyed that you've watched

  • Grey's Anatomy already.

  • - Oh, but I watched that before I knew you!

  • (both laugh)

  • - Still, we can't discover it together.

  • - I think you're almost up to where I got to.

  • - Yes, we can watch through season eight together!

  • I'm really into Grey's Anatomy right now, okay?

  • - Question five:

  • If Jessica could sleep with a celebrity, who would it be?

  • Angelina Jolie...

  • - Half of these are male, by the way,

  • so you could just knock them out right now.

  • - Beyonce, Tom Hardy, Channing Tatum,

  • George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio.

  • Hmm.

  • (crickets chirp)

  • I'm, like, hovering over Rachel Adams

  • but I don't think she's your type.

  • That's more my type.

  • - Who do you think is my type on this list?

  • - I don't even know who Miranda Kerr is.

  • (laughs)

  • - You're okay.

  • Look, it's a list of eight people...

  • - Angelina Jolie.

  • - Four of them are male, so they're off the list.

  • - No, I know you don't fancy Angelina Jolie either

  • but she's more, like, kind of Lara Croft-y than,

  • you know, Rachel Adams, who's a bit more, like, mum-sy.

  • I'm gonna go for Angelina Jolie.

  • - Yeah, Claudia's type is mum-sy.

  • - Oh no, you hit Rachel Adams!

  • - I did, I did!

  • Because I would have wanted to go for Angelina Jolie,

  • but she would scare me.

  • - I know she would scare you, yeah, but like...

  • Question six:

  • Would Jessica rather be too busy or too bored?

  • - Easy.

  • - Too busy.

  • Where would Jessica rather live?

  • France, Italy, Japan, Brazil, Australia, Sweden.

  • - This was tough, actually, this one.

  • - Sweden.

  • - Ah!

  • - That's not tough!

  • - Damn, you know me.

  • - I mean, you've got Swedish heritage,

  • you like the climate there, they do four-day working week,

  • and they've got a good welfare system.

  • - If we could move to Sweden

  • and have our babies there right now, I would be down.

  • - Question eight:

  • Which would Jessica prefer?

  • Apple, Android.

  • Apple.

  • (both laugh)

  • Question nine:

  • Would Jessica rather be able to fly or be invisible?

  • Or, there's another random option there saying,

  • "Rather stay perfectly normal."

  • - Well, that one's out.

  • - Yeah.

  • I think you'd rather fly.

  • - Yes, you're right!

  • Because all I really want is the ability to move

  • and go places...

  • - Ten.

  • - Do things.

  • - If Jessica had a time machine,

  • she would travel to the past and meet ancestors

  • or travel to the future and meet grandchildren.

  • I think she'd rather meet her ancestors.

  • Oh, your face.

  • (laughs)

  • - Sorry, gave it away.

  • - Okay, okay, future grandchildren.

  • - We talk about this all the time!

  • - I know, but you like history.

  • - That we both want spoilers.

  • I love history but I want spoilers to my life.

  • - Question 11:

  • Which is more important to Jessica: love or money?

  • Hmm.

  • This is a hard one.

  • (imitates a buzzer)

  • No.

  • (laughs)

  • Question 12: Which movie genre would Jessica prefer?

  • Romance, horror, adventure, comedy,

  • drama/documentary, animation.

  • - She's gonna show--

  • By the way, animation is not--

  • Anyway, you can have all of those things be animated.

  • Animation itself is not a category.

  • This is gonna show how well you actually really know me.

  • Tricky, I know, tricky, tricky.

  • - I'm gonna go for adventure.

  • Yeah!

  • - You know me!

  • (both laugh)

  • - It's 'cause you love things like Fast and Furious.

  • - Any kind of big drama thriller.

  • - Jumanji, Jumanji 2.

  • Right.

  • What would make Jessica most happy?

  • More sleep, less work, more time with friends and family,

  • breath of fresh air traveling somewhere away from home,

  • more wealth.

  • More time with friends and family

  • is what you would probably know you should put

  • but I think really, if you were being honest with yourself,

  • say more wealth.

  • Yes!

  • - And you know why?

  • Because money means you can have all of those other things.

  • You know in that like rich house, poor house TV show?

  • Which is basically where they get a rich family--

  • - And they're like does money buy you happiness?

  • - Switch lives for a week.

  • Yeah, and it's like, "Is it better to be wealthy

  • "or to have nothing but all your close family?"

  • And it's like, I'm so sorry.

  • No, the poor family, like,

  • their parents are working 20 hours a day

  • and they don't see their kids and everyone's unhappy.

  • - Anyway.

  • - Anyway, sorry.

  • - Question 14:

  • - Just the kind of thing they say to keep the masses down.

  • You know, makes me angry.

  • - To Jessica, love is dead--

  • (laughs)

  • complex, everything, confusing, worthwhile.

  • Everything.

  • Question 15: Would Jessica prefer Coke or Pepsi?

  • Did you, like, make this quiz?

  • You didn't put in your own questions?

  • - I did not make this quiz.

  • - That's crazy!

  • I think Coke?

  • (laughs)

  • The 180 cans downstairs might have something to do with it.