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  • Hi, everybody.

  • It's me, Ellen.

  • Just like most people on TV, I'm coming to you

  • from my house again, which means I have taken my second shower

  • in three weeks.

  • I'm doing the show with no makeup.

  • I mean, obviously, my eyebrows are tattooed on

  • from the '90s, but otherwise, sans makeup.

  • Usually I start my show by asking the audience

  • to have a seat, but I don't care what you do.

  • You can sit.

  • You can stand.

  • Doesn't really matter.

  • I can't see you any way, which is probably good,

  • because I know some of you are not wearing pants.

  • I know it.

  • Like I said, I'm filming here at my house.

  • We call this room the "sitting room."

  • Actually, I call every room in the house our "sitting room."

  • We used to have a kitchen, and now we

  • call it "a sitting room with a fridge."

  • So I wanted to keep making the show

  • because I miss making people laugh,

  • and I want to take your mind off things.

  • I don't know if you're laughing.

  • I'm hoping you are.

  • Or just-- I just hope I'm making you,

  • you know, forget about stuff.

  • This isn't about politics, and I know it's bad out there,

  • but I hope this is a distraction for you.

  • Just like you, I'm trying to find different ways

  • to pass the time.

  • I cut my own bangs.

  • Well, not my bangs.

  • Portia's bangs.

  • She was napping.

  • I can't wait to see what she thinks when she wakes up.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • You like that, Andy?

  • Yeah, I liked that.

  • It made me laugh.

  • I don't see you.

  • I can't see, again, into the room, but it's funny.

  • Yeah, there he is.

  • He's walking around.

  • My staff is "working from home."

  • Working from home is glug, glug, glug.

  • But my producer Andy is here to help me.

  • He's just wandering around.

  • You can hear me, right?

  • I hear you.

  • OK.

  • I do not see you.

  • That's OK.

  • You're not supposed to see me.

  • I know, the windows are tinted.

  • You can't see in.

  • OK.

  • OK.

  • While you're out there, if you would do me a favor.

  • The windows could need some good cleaning.

  • So I put a squeegee out there behind the tree.

  • If you would just get the squeegee and--

  • Where?

  • It's right behind the tree where you are.

  • You [INAUDIBLE] You were [INAUDIBLE] earlier.

  • The red bucket?

  • Yeah.

  • There's water in it and a squeegee.

  • I don't know how to do this [INAUDIBLE]..

  • That was supposed to be done, and then I

  • had to-- nobody can be here.

  • So if you can do it.

  • Oh, God.

  • I'm sure you know how to do it.

  • I have no-- I've done this with my car window.

  • OK.

  • Well.

  • All right.

  • All right.

  • While he does that, I'll continue with the show.

  • These shows are going to be a little bit different.

  • They'll be a little less polished.

  • Who am I kidding?

  • You may not even notice.

  • You've all been drinking since noon.

  • All right.

  • Let's say hi to my friend, tWitch. tWitch, Hi.

  • Hi.

  • What's up, Ellen?

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • What's up, tWitch?

  • Oh, you know.

  • Just, you know.

  • We're here.

  • We're in here, and by "here," the house.

  • What have you done so far today?

  • Oh, man.

  • Woke up, you know.

  • Fixed a few bottles.

  • Made Maddox some waffles.

  • It's exciting.

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • Well, you know what you should try doing?

  • I suggest cutting Allison's bangs when she's asleep.

  • Wow.

  • You know, I would like to continue to enjoy

  • this time together, so, not.

  • She can cut mine.

  • All right.

  • It was just a thought.

  • OK, here's another idea.

  • Maybe you should dance.

  • I hear you now.

  • I'm down.

  • I'm down for that.

  • All right.

  • [MUSIC- UNK, "WALK IT OUT"]

  • Hey.

  • Now walk it out, walk it out.

  • Now walk it out, walk it out.

  • West side walk it out.

  • West side walk it out.

  • South side walk it out.

  • South side walk it out.

  • East side walk it out.

  • East side walk it out.

  • North side walk it out.

  • North side walk it out.

  • Now walk it out.

  • Now walk it out.

  • Now west side walk it out.

  • West side walk it out.

  • South side walk it out.

  • South side walk it out.

  • East side walk it out.

  • North side walk it out.

  • Now hit look the danceflo', and bend ya back low.

  • She do it with no hands.

  • Now stop, pop, and roll.

  • I'm smoking bubble, yeah they in trouble.

  • I like the way she moves, and undercover-- whoa!

  • Now everybody lean in.

  • I make the crowd rock.

  • Now go on and walk it out.

  • I see they on my jock.

  • She want that bubblegum.

  • Is they the Doublemint Twins?

  • Two hoes choosing me, so I know that I'm gonna win.

  • OK.

  • OK I danced with you, tWitch.

  • Hey, tWitch.

  • Oh!

Hi, everybody.

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A2 初級

艾倫與女巫共舞,安迪平均清洗她的窗戶 (Ellen Dances with tWitch, and Average Andy Cleans Her Windows)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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