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  • - What are the 11 things

  • that you should not do in Spain?

  • Today we're covering those unwritten social rules

  • that I've learned the hard way so you don't need to.

  • (speaks foreign language)

  • Let's go!

  • (Spanish guitar music)

  • - Hey guys I'm James Blick.

  • - And I'm Yolanda Martin.

  • - And welcome to Spain Revealed.

  • This channel's all about helping you

  • explore Spain like a local.

  • And look, Spain is a pretty easygoing place,

  • but in the eight years I've been here

  • there's a number of things that I've learned,

  • a number of rules that I've learned,

  • with your help Yoly, that are things that you just don't do.

  • They're what we would call social faux pas.

  • - And the things that if you keep in mind,

  • you will be a bit more in sync

  • with the locals when you're here.

  • - And so we're gonna count down from 11.

  • We're gonna go through the rules that I've learned.

  • In each case I'm gonna state the rule,

  • and I'm gonna get your take on it Yoly.

  • - And stick around until the end,

  • because number one is really important.

  • - Okay, rule number 11.

  • Here in Spain we don't say thank you and please,

  • gracias and por favor constantly.

  • When I first moved here,

  • I felt like I was saying it all the time,

  • because in English we do say thank you and please a lot.

  • When we're in shops, when we're you know,

  • in our constant day-to-day interactions with people,

  • we're constantly using those words.

  • But here in Spain, I just had this weird feeling

  • that I was saying it too much.

  • And so, how does that work here Yoly?

  • - I think it's a matter of tone,

  • you know, so you imply the thanks or the please

  • a little bit more in the way we speak.

  • So, you know for example, at a bar you're going to say

  • (speaks in foreign language)

  • So that's more like you know,

  • can you pour me a beer when you can?

  • So, you know by--

  • - And was there a little rise in inflection there.

  • - Yeah, there's like that kind of,

  • like a nice sort of inflection of the voice.

  • And also, yeah and in that ito,

  • you know, meaning like a term of endearment.

  • So, instead of (speaks in foreign language)

  • you say (speaks in foreign language).

  • - So a little diminutive.

  • - Yes exactly!

  • Which kind of eases everything a little bit.

  • - It softens it.

  • Yeah, so instead of using the words

  • please and thank you constantly,

  • it's like, it's interesting how you are

  • building into the language, and into the tone,

  • those kind of social cues.

  • And that is really hard for a new Spanish speaker.

  • I know for me, I still tend to,

  • if I don't think I can get the tone right,

  • maybe there is a lot of noise,

  • and I can't quite get it right,

  • I will use (speaks in foreign language),

  • just to kinda make sure that I'm not being impolite.

  • I know that there's been times when I have not used them,

  • and you've said "Oh, you didn't quite get the tone right,

  • it sounded like a command."

  • - But I mean, it is allowed

  • to say (speaks in foreign language)

  • you know, so you want to really, yeah, make it clear,

  • then go ahead, say (speaks in foreign language).

  • - Exactly. Okay rule number 10.

  • When you're eating at a Spanish table,

  • don't put your bread on your plate.

  • This was really interesting when I first moved here,

  • because we use bread constantly here.

  • You know, bread is used to mop up food

  • and to push things onto your fork,

  • but I would often have a piece of bread,

  • and everybody has a piece of bread while they're eating.

  • And I would find a spot on my plate,

  • but we don't do that here right?

  • - No it's more, I guess that bread is considered

  • a utensil as well, in a way,

  • so, you put it next to your knife and fork.

  • Also, if you put it on your plate, it might get soggy,

  • so you don't want to be then using your hands

  • to pick out the bread and soak the things,

  • and it's all soggy.

  • - It's interesting, and I love how in the end,

  • the fact that we don't put bread on the plate

  • actually reflects the root of that,

  • is how we use bread differently here.

  • They say we use it as an utensil,

  • I think that's very cool.

  • I love it because it feels very medieval,

  • to have your big chunk of bread

  • sitting right on your table.

  • So, I think it's really fun, and something I really enjoy.

  • So, rule number nine.

  • And it's another eating one, eating ones are fascinating,

  • and that is, you shouldn't have either of your hands

  • under the table when you're eating.

  • I grew up being told off for having my elbows on the table,

  • and you're not allowed to do that here either.

  • - No, no, no.

  • - But there's this extra one that didn't exist

  • in New Zealand, of not having one of your hands

  • under the table while you're eating,

  • and you tell me off for this quite often, because I forget.

  • So what is this rule all about?

  • - Yeah, I mean, I have no idea why it is.

  • I was told once that it might be just to make sure

  • that you don't have a knife under the table,

  • that you might stab me.

  • More back to medieval times--

  • - So much trust in our relationship.

  • - It's true that I feel kind of weird

  • if I have someone that is kind of eating,

  • and their hand is there.

  • It's like, just show yourself there.

  • It's very cultural I guess, I have that feeling.

  • - There is something very Spanish in that, I love it.

  • It makes me conjures memories,

  • think thoughts of the Spanish Inquisition.

  • I might have a dagger under the table

  • or something like that.

  • But I think that, when we think about,

  • and I believe this is the case,

  • the root of why we shake hands,

  • is to show that you don't have a weapon,

  • to kind of reveal yourself to someone.

  • And I think it's probably the same thing.

  • You let us know in the comments

  • if that exists in any other country where you're watching,

  • 'cause I'm really curious about that one.

  • But remember, keep your hands above the table!

  • Okay, rule number eight.

  • If someone comes to your house

  • at about 5:00 p.m., don't offer them a drink,

  • a beer or a glass of wine.

  • And so, what happened here, and I really remember this

  • when we first moved here, is that a couple that we know,

  • Diego and Sonya, they came over,

  • and you were talking to Sonya I'm not sure but,

  • Diego, I offered him a beer, and it was five p.m.,

  • and he was like, I don't want a beer,

  • I want a cafe con leche.

  • And I was like, oh, of course, it's like,

  • too early to have a beer.

  • But, in New Zealand you would offer someone a beer

  • if they came over at five p.m.

  • So, unpack this a little bit for us.

  • - Yeah so, you know in the end, we have lunch later,

  • we have dinner later, so of course

  • beer o'clock is not five p.m.

  • it's like eight p.m., nine p.m. usually.

  • So we do delay the time of having a beer.

  • - I really like that way of thinking about

  • beer o'clock is not at five p.m.

  • Beer o'clock is eight p.m. in Spain.

  • That's very, very cool.

  • He had his cafe con leche, I quickly put the beer

  • back in the fridge and grabbed the--

  • - Felt embarrassed.

  • - Felt like an alcholic and made coffee,

  • I didn't have a beer even though I was ready for one,

  • we'd just moved here.

  • And so, what happened is, he did have a beer later,

  • but he just needed his cup of coffee and things like that.

  • Okay, rule number seven.

  • When you go to someone's house for dinner,

  • or a party, you don't stay behind to help with the dishes.

  • Now, I'm curious about this one because,

  • maybe it was just the time we were living in New Zealand,

  • or something about our circle of friends,

  • so I'm really keen to hear your thoughts.

  • In New Zealand I felt like you would sort of stay behind

  • and help with the dishes or help tidy up,

  • but here, I remember being really surprised

  • that once the party's over, once the dinner party's over,

  • you just leave, you're out.

  • - I'm out.

  • - Which is great if you're at someone's house,

  • and terrible if they're at your house.

  • So, is there something here Yoly?

  • - I would say that a little bit of tidying up

  • is allowed and thanked for, so yeah,

  • people might get up and they take the dishes

  • to the kitchen and stuff like that.

  • But then to go as far as to actually doing the dishes,

  • that is a little bit much.

  • I don't think a lot of people do that here in Spain.

  • - So something to keep in mind,

  • because, if maybe you said to your Spanish hosts,

  • hey, I'll stay behind and do the dishes,

  • how would that make them feel?

  • - I saw your face - You know just go away, now.

  • Give me a break.

  • I already had you for like three, four hours.

  • - Let us know in the comments,

  • do you stay behind and do the dishes

  • when you go to friend's houses for dinner?

  • Okay rule number six, and this is another one

  • about social situations.

  • You know, you're not gonna do the dishes,

  • but the other thing is, when you go into a party

  • for example, often in English, at least in New Zealand,

  • I think the culture is, and I suspect in the states,

  • in the UK, one of the first questions

  • you will ask people is, what their job is.

  • You know, oh, so what do you do?

  • And that's kind of a safe way to start a conversation.

  • But if you said here in Spain,

  • (speaks in foreign language)

  • What's your job?

  • How would that be for a Spaniard?

  • - Yeah well, it's definitely not the first question

  • that you'll ask, you know?

  • We tend to you know, we're socializing,

  • we're like having fun, so usually,

  • unless you're really passionate about your work,

  • you don't talk about work straight away like that.

  • Maybe, if it's relevant at some point,

  • you're talking about what you do in your day-to-day,

  • then, yes maybe you're going to say what do you do?

  • But, other than that, yeah,

  • usually you don't get straight there, no.

  • - Yeah, it's almost a bit pesado, would you say?

  • - Yes, a little bit pesado.

  • - It's a great word, pesado.

  • Pesado means to be intense, and so I think sometimes

  • in social situations in Spain,

  • I found that I could come across as a bit pesado.

  • Because I will come in and I will be like,

  • hey what's your job?

  • And it's like whoa, back off!

  • - I'm having fun here.

  • - Exactly, let's kinda ease into the conversation.

  • And it's a little bit like more

  • (speaks in foreign language)

  • How's it going?

  • and you work towards it. - Yeah

  • - Another thing you often catch me out on Yoly,

  • is that somebody, a Spanish speaker,

  • would be telling a story, and I will ask them what happened

  • while they're still in the middle of the story.

  • it's almost like I expect them to cut to the chase.

  • - You want a conclusion really fast, yeah.

  • - And maybe that's a difference

  • between English and Spanish, that in English,

  • do we cut to the chase faster sometimes?

  • - I reckon, yeah, so,