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  • How to get one million followers... hey, you know, I was just reading this book and we

  • could get lots of people to watch us if we changed a couple of things.

  • Oh, I know.

  • Huh.

  • Hi, James from engVid.

  • Mr. E seems to know everything.

  • You know what's interesting about knowing everything?

  • You actually stop knowing anything at all.

  • Hi.

  • What I want to do on today's lesson is I want to talk about the word "I know".

  • It is a word that is used by many English speakers who are just starting to learn the

  • language.

  • In fact, it's used a lot by native speakers, unthinkingly, to cover all sorts of situations.

  • In today's lesson, I'm going to give you some new phrases, I'm going to give you some new

  • vocabulary that we can take the same idea that comes from "I know" and use it to further

  • our communication skills.

  • Now, why is this important?

  • A lot of times, we watch videos and they give you the tools but don't explain why or where

  • you'll use them.

  • I like to make sure I take an opportunity in this video to make sure I not only teach

  • you why but where it is most beneficial for you to use the new vocabulary.

  • You ready?

  • Let's go to the board.

  • Now, when you look at the words here "I know", I've outlined or really put "no" in a big

  • sense.

  • We even say the word "no", and when in English we say "no" it means "stop" or "I don't like"

  • or something negative.

  • When you use "I know" in a sentence and it's not used in its most effective manner, it

  • tends to stop conversation or make people feel as though you're not listening and they're

  • not understood, which makes difficult conversations actually more difficult and go on longer.

  • Now, before I say another word, I want to say hello to Prachi and Andrew.

  • We met at the McCaul eating area, and you guys were having a conversation and you were

  • really graceful and great and allowed me to use some of this lesson on you and help me

  • fix this lesson up, so I greatly appreciate that.

  • And this English saves conflict resolution.

  • I want to use a quote from Theodore Roosevelt.

  • He's a former American president.

  • Most of you won't know who he is because he's been dead a long time.

  • One of their better presidents, and he had a quote that I really like that kind of helps

  • with this lesson.

  • Theodore said, "Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care".

  • I want to change that last statement of "care" to "understand".

  • Once people understand that you have an interest in what you're saying, then they know that

  • you care.

  • And, funny enough, "understand" is one of the words we're going to use instead of "know"

  • in order to create greater communication skills.

  • Now that you know why we're doing the lesson:

  • * To further your communication *

  • * Make sure you're understood *

  • * Let people know you understand them *

  • Why don't we get to the lesson, right?

  • Now, the best way to go about this is to look at what does "know" mean?

  • It's a short form of "knowledge", it's a verb, which is nice, but what it really means is

  • to know something means you know something through information, observation, or inquiry.

  • Inquiry means to ask questions.

  • If you ask a question, then you'll get to know something, alright?

  • "Why is the sky blue?"

  • Blah blah blah blah, I will tell you, now you know.

  • Observation, now you watch.

  • You see two bunnies running across the grass, it's springtime, one bunny jumps atop the

  • other bunny, they're playing, you know why they're doing that, alright?

  • And information; you read something or you watch a video or a YouTube video and you learn.

  • Now, that's knowing something.

  • But if you notice something, when we talk about knowing in this particular case, knowing

  • is not actually talking about understanding.

  • Although people confuse these two words, they don't really appreciate how those two words

  • can affect a conversation.

  • I'm going to borrow a cell phone for a second, and I want to show you something.

  • All of you have used cell phones before, and you know how to use them.

  • I know you do, right?

  • I say to text me "blah blah blah" send me this "blah blah blah".

  • Now, what happens if I took this cell phone, I took it apart to all the smallest parts

  • and laid them on the floor, okay?

  • And I said to you "Put them together".

  • Could you do that?

  • No.

  • So you know how to use the technology, but you don't understand how it works to put it

  • back together again.

  • And that's the power of the words that I'm going to give you now.

  • That'll give you that power of putting it back together and even creating something

  • new out of it and creating greater communication skills.

  • So, let's start over here.

  • I said stop saying "I know".

  • I give you five phrases to improve the communication, so let's talk about number one: "recognize".

  • Right in the middle of "cog" means "thinking".

  • "Cognition", thinking, and recognize means to go back and to think.

  • The meaning of "recognize" here is to acknowledge a truth, existence, or validity of something.

  • That's a lot of noise and movement.

  • It's to say I notice what you said and what you said had some truth to it.

  • Notice I didn't say "I know", I said "I noticed".

  • I could say "I know what you said, and when you said it to me, there was some truth that

  • I have to say is true".

  • When something's valid, we say there's truth to it and acknowledge saying "I'm going to

  • say this is true".

  • So, that's more than I know.

  • When you say - if I say to you "It's raining outside" and you go "I know" and I might say

  • that I recognize that the weather is bad, not only do I have this knowledge, I'm saying

  • there's validity to what you're saying, alright?

  • Cause it's not just "it's raining", you're saying the weather is bad, there's a bit more

  • to it.

  • And on that, I'm going to come back when I talk about understanding intent.

  • The second, and this is different than "I know", but it's "from my perspective".

  • When you say "from my perspective", it is to give your opinion and attitude on a subject,

  • but "spec" meaning "to look at", you're actually saying "I see this".

  • I see what you're saying because I'm aware of what you're saying.

  • In other words, I know what you're saying, and I see from this knowledge of knowing what

  • you are saying to me.

  • That was nice, right, from this knowledge of knowing, I have an opinion on that.

  • So, I have the same knowledge you have, but the way I interpret it, the way I feel about

  • it, the way I see it is different than you.

  • So that is acknowledging the person saying I know it, got it, okay, cool, but I see it

  • in a different way.

  • For instance, I'm standing here.

  • And when I'm standing here, they're different positions, although we're in the same room,

  • cool.

  • So, you can use that one.

  • So, "From my perspective, that's an interesting point" means I know what you're talking about

  • and I like it.

  • "Appreciate".

  • Appreciate is an interesting word, because by itself, I always think "appreciate" means

  • "to be thankful", to say thanks for something.

  • "I appreciate you helping me", I'm really -- I'm thankful for it.

  • When I look at appreciate and we use it instead of "I know", it's saying I recognize the implications

  • and true value of the subject.

  • An example of this would be if someone says to you "Hey look, if you don't get enough

  • sleep tonight, you won't be able to catch the train in the morning because it's really

  • early."

  • And I might say instead of "Oh, I know", I go "I appreciate you telling me that".

  • It means "thank you" because there are implications if I don't get up, I will miss my train, and

  • there's a value to you telling me that because getting the train is important to me.

  • While "I know" just means "I have the information, I have the knowledge" but it shows no value

  • in saying "thank you for doing that for me".

  • So, you notice a lot of times if you say "Oh, I appreciate you saying that", people will

  • step back and give you some room because you're saying "thank you", so they know "Oh, you

  • heard me and you like - not like, but are thankful for me saying it".

  • You may have to go on and say something different, but they will appreciate that you took the

  • time to listen instead of saying "I know".

  • "Understand".

  • Now, I started off over here talking about understand and I said it was an important

  • one.

  • The difference, as I showed you with the cell phone, between "understand" and "know", when

  • you know something you have the information.

  • When you understand, here's what's important - you perceive the intended meaning.

  • Now, I used the difference between being able to put a cell phone together and knowing how

  • to use one, okay?

  • When people are speaking to you, sometimes they're trying to say more than the words

  • they give you and saying "I know" doesn't show that you actually have paid attention

  • and you got the message they were really trying to get to you.

  • An example would be when someone says - if you said, "Look, if you keep being late, it's

  • not great.

  • You might end up losing your job", you say "I understand" versus "I know".

  • "I know" means "of course", that's what happens, you keep telling me I'm late, I lose my job.

  • "I understand" means "Okay, you're giving me an opportunity, you hope I recognize what

  • I'm doing is incorrect right now and you hope I change my behavior".

  • Whoa, where did that come from?

  • Well, that's what understand means.

  • It means I heard you, I'm taking some information in, I know what you're intending to say to

  • me and I'm not getting fired yet, but it's a possibility if the behavior doesn't change.

  • "I know", saying "I know" in this case means I'm aware of the situation, I know your part,

  • my part, or your position, my position, but it doesn't give us any room of, like, I understand

  • where you're coming from, because it's saying something like "You're always late and if

  • you continue you might lose your job", you're saying you're actually kind of concerned about

  • me losing my job, and saying "I know" kind of doesn't give back that emotional bond.

  • And this is what I was talking about with communication.

  • You can say anything you like and you don't even have to take this lesson at all.

  • You can say "Yeah whatever, I know is good enough", but by varying your speech, you'll

  • notice that you're giving back not only information "I understand what you're saying and I was

  • listening to you", alright, but also "I care", or in some cases "Thank you for saying it",

  • or "I heard what you said but I see it differently, "I recognize some of what you say is true."

  • Alright, and this is changing it, and it shows the mastery - your mastery of my language,

  • of the English language, cool?

  • So, understand is very good one, "I understand", because it means I do know what you're saying

  • and there's even more, I'm getting more out of it, what you're trying to give me, and

  • that is your intended meaning.

  • Perceive is to see.

  • Now, I said perceive is "to see".

  • Funny enough, number five: I see.

  • This is a really good one, because it's similar to the rest and "I see" doesn't seem to be

  • "I know it all", like, they're not even related.

  • More on that in a second.

  • I actually had a friend who told me a few weeks ago he had a situation where he was

  • going to look at an apartment and he really wanted the landlord to know he was serious

  • about taking the apartment.

  • Now, when the landlord was showing him the fuse box or this little electric thing, it

  • wasn't a big deal, he said "Oh I know" and all this stuff, he never said that.

  • He said, on purpose, "I see, I see", hm.

  • Smart guy.

  • He could have said "I know" and probably would have gone off, you know, gone along with it,

  • but he knew the landlord might not like it or perceive him as arrogant or talking down,

  • but his saying "I see" was a way for him to say "I'm listening to you.

  • I'm really paying attention.

  • I'm taking this information in, and thank you, I got it".

  • I see - to show you are paying attention and understanding.

  • He knew that.

  • Now, most of you when I said "I know, I know" and you're saying "I'm smart, I get it", but

  • you want the person to know you're actually listening and paying attention, "I see" is

  • good.

  • And even the way we say it, we go "I see, I see", we slow it down.

  • "I see... yeah...

  • I see... yeah, I see".

  • And all of the sudden, magically, "I know" becomes "I see" and the person is like "You

  • really listened very well" versus "I know, mmhmm, I know" because even when I say it

  • like this [slower] "I know" means I have a better idea or another idea versus "I see".

  • All the same tonality, but one is I'm taking in what you're saying, you're important, I

  • need to understand you, versus everything I do is more important, cool?

  • Okay.

  • So now that I've taught you why we're doing this, and we've talked about - I gave you

  • some things about a change in grammar and form.

  • Oh, and before I go there, I want to talk about another way of saying "I know", which

  • is what is what we call colloquial, the common people use it, and it's not to say "I know"

  • but it's to change it up so you're not just saying words, you have some phrases.

  • That was part of the deal when I said how we're going to change it, I will teach you

  • phrases.

  • Here are some phrases.

  • What's interesting about these phrases is that they follow the kinesthetic, auditory,

  • and visual models.

  • That's right, I was ready for you to go "What is he talking about?

  • I don't know, he just went crazy!

  • Brain does not work!"

  • Okay, auditory - sound, audio.

  • Visual - to see.

  • And kinesthetic, that nice long word, is just movement, body movement, though I don't rock

  • like I used to, okay.

  • Now, not everybody - we actually speak and we learn in three different modes.

  • I've done a couple of videos where I've mentioned them before, some of the best ways of learning

  • and how you can use the auditory, visual, and kinesthetic way to improve your learning

  • of English or any subject for that matter, but we also speak in this way.

  • Not all the time, but depending on how a person is thinking, they may use one of these models

  • to explain what's going on or the thought process in their head at this time.

  • And one of the best ways to communicate you're listening and understand them is to what I

  • call "copy" that model.

  • If someone says something like "That looks good", you can say "I see what you mean".

  • I'm using "look" and "see" which are similar verbs to show that I'm thinking the same way

  • you are, and it shows a connection.

  • It enhances or helps the communication get better, cool?

  • So, these three phrases are in different ways of communicating your thought pattern to people

  • in the audio, visual, or kinesthetic model, cool?

  • I know, I got all schoolsy there, oh, I got goosebumps.

  • So, the first one is "I hear what you're saying", alright.

  • It's