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  • What the hell have I been doing with my life?

    我最近都在搞什麼鬼?

  • Trying to get in shape, man.

    試著維持身材啊!老兄。

  • But I hate going to the gym, so I decided I'd go veggie twice a week.

    但我討厭去健身房,所以決定一週吃兩次素食。

  • It's brutal.

    很殘酷啊!

  • I can only make it till about 5 o'clock.

    我只能堅持到五點。

  • Five o'clock, that's what I realized about myself, you know that?

    只能到五點鐘,而你知道這讓我認知到什麼嗎?

  • Something has to die every day in order for me to live.

    每天都有東西死掉,就為了讓我存活。

  • Something's got to get its beak chopped off, its feathers yanked, uppercut to its jaw, just in order for me to survive.

    鳥嘴被剁掉、羽毛被拉出來、下顎被用上鉤拳打,只是為了讓我活下去。

  • I'm trying!

    我在試了!

  • Couscous and all that shit.

    北非小米什麼的。

  • It's awful.

    很糟糕。

  • I saw this thing, though.

    但我看了一個東西。

  • They said if everybody went vegan, if everybody went vegan or vegetarian, whatever the hell they said.

    他們說如果大家都開始吃純素、蛋奶素,或隨便哪種素。

  • One of those "V" ones, right?

    反正就是ㄙ開頭的,對吧?

  • They said it'll be great for the environment, you know.

    他們說會對環境很好。

  • I guess there's all this cattle standing around, and when they fart, the gas goes up in the atmosphere and causes something.

    應該是因為有群牛站在那裡,他們放屁的時候,氣體會往上到大氣,造成一些事情。

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • They're always doing that shit.

    他們每次都鬼話連篇。

  • You know, "If everybody went vegan, the air would be—"

    像是「如果大家都吃素,空氣會——」

  • "If everybody drove an electric car, if everybody just had some snowshoes on."

    「如果大家都開電動車、如果大家都把雪鞋穿上。」

  • Right, they just won't come out and say it.

    他們就是不肯直接說出問題。

  • Nobody has the balls to come out and just say, "Look, 85 percent of you have to go."

    沒人有膽量站出來說:「聽著,八成五的你們都得死。」

  • That's it, that is it.

    就是這樣。

  • I have been bitching about the population problem for three specials in a row.

    我已經連續在三場特輯裡罵人口問題了。

  • Waiting for some politician to have the balls to bring it up, but they won't do it, they won't do it.

    等著一些政治人物有膽量提起它,但他們通通不敢。

  • We live in a democracy, right?

    我們生活在民主之中,對吧?

  • Can't be honest in a democracy.

    你不能在民主下誠實。

  • You need the votes.

    你需要票。

  • You can't run with that as your platform.

    你不能用這種宣言競選。

  • Coming out there: "And if elected, I would implement a program to immediately eliminate at least 85 percent of you!"

    出來劈頭就說:「如果我被選上,我會實施一項措施,立刻消滅你們至少八成五的人!」

  • "This planet cannot sustain the sheer numberslet me finish!"

    「這個星球不能承受所有的人口——讓我說完!」

  • "This will not be arbitrary."

    「這不會是隨意的。」

  • "Under your seats is a multiple choice questionnaire!"

    「你們的座位底下有多選的問卷!」

  • "If you did not bring a pencil, you're already out!"

    「如果你沒帶鉛筆,你已經出局了!」

  • You can't do that.

    你不能這樣。

  • You got to be nice.

    你需要當好人。

  • You got to be fucking nice, especially this day and age, man.

    你需要他 X 的友善,特別是在這個時代。

  • Everybody getting in trouble, all these goddamn groups out there, bitch, moaning and complaining anytime anybody says anything.

    每個人都會陷入麻煩,那些天殺的團體,一天到晚因為某人說的某件事在抱怨。

  • "We're part of a group, eh."

    「我們是團體中的人。」

  • You gotta apologize.

    你必須道歉。

  • "I'm sorry to people who own Shar Peis."

    「我對養沙皮狗的人道歉。」

  • "I didn't mean to say that it's an ugly-ass dog, nah."

    「我不是故意說它是一種醜到爆的狗。」

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • You know what, fuck you and your group.

    誰想理你和你的團體。

  • What about that?

    有團體又怎樣?

  • What do you got, two million people in your group?

    你團體裡有兩百萬人嗎?

  • There's 400 million in this country.

    這國家有四億人。

  • Nobody gives a shit.

    誰想理你。

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • Who the fuck joins a group?

    到底誰會加入團體?

  • "I'm gonna join a group, that's what I'm gonna do today."

    「我今天要加入一個團體,這就是我今天要做的事。」

  • Go to meetings.

    參加團體會議。

  • What kind of a fucking loser, right?

    這是怎樣的魯蛇啊,對吧?

  • That's the same way I look at people who got upset about, you know, Michael Sam, the gay football player kissing his boyfriend when he got drafted.

    我就是這樣看待那些不爽 Michael Sam (同性戀美式足球員) 在被選上時親他男友的人。

  • Everybody bitch, moaning and complaining.

    每個人都在抱怨、抱怨、抱怨。

  • It's like, dude, that's what you get for watching the draft, alright?

    老兄,這本來就是你看選秀會看到的啊?

  • Now once again, what kind of a fucking loser just sits there watching round after round?

    再說一次,到底哪種魯蛇會一遍又一遍的地看著選秀啊?

  • "The Jets are up next."

    「紐約噴氣機隊等等上場。」

  • "I think they need a quarterback."

    「我覺得他們需要一個四分衛。」

  • "They need to improve their defensive line."

    「他們需要加強防守線。」

  • Dude, that's like going to a graduation ceremony where you don't know anybody who's graduating.

    老兄,這就像參加一場畢業典禮,但你根本不知道有誰要畢業。

  • You're just fucking sitting there.

    你只是他 X 的坐在那裡。

  • They're gonna have the whole list the next day.

    他們隔天會把整個單子列出來。

  • They'll have everybody, who drafted who, when.

    誰選上了誰、何時選上的。

  • Fucking got to sit there and watch that shit.

    他 X 的得坐在那裡看那種東西。

  • Those stupid interviews.

    那些白痴訪問。

  • "Yeah, you're a member of the Buffalo Bills."

    「嗯,你是水牛城比爾隊的一員。」

  • "How does it feel?"

    「你有什麼感受?」

  • "Well, you know, it's a blessing."

    「你知道的,這是個福氣。」

  • "I want to thank God."

    「我要謝謝上帝。」

  • "Gonna try to do my best, it's a great organization, and the same shit the last 80 guys said, so yeah"

    「我會盡全力、這是個很棒的組織,就跟前面八十個人說的東西一樣。」

  • Yeah.

    對啊。

  • I'm glad he kissed him.

    我很高興他親了他。

  • He should have fucking blown him.

    他根本應該幫他吹喇巴。

  • Yeah!

    沒錯!

  • With birthday cake in his mouth and a Santa Claus hat on his head, just to ruin the entire year.

    嘴裡放生日蛋糕,頭頂戴上聖誕老公公帽,把一整年毀掉。

  • Holding a flag that fucks up Flag Day.

    拿著旗幟,毀掉美國國旗日。

  • You'll keep thinking about it.

    你會一直想著這件事。

  • Yeah.

    沒錯。

  • Fucking stupid-ass groups.

    他 X 的笨蛋團體。

  • People apologizing to them like they have some sort of power.

    人們對他們道歉,好像他們有什麼權力一樣。

  • Look, if you're being a dick, apologize.

    聽著,如果你做了爛事,就道歉。

  • But other than that, yeah, go fuck yourself.

    但沒有的話,就不要他 X 的理別人。

What the hell have I been doing with my life?

我最近都在搞什麼鬼?

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    lauren.huang 發佈於 2020 年 07 月 04 日
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