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  • Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love, and this is Q&A Tuesday. Today's question comes from Vanessa and she

  • writes:

  • "Hi, Marie. I love your show and everything you do. As a matter of fact, I made my 14-year-old

  • daughter read Make Every Man Want You because I wish I knew all that stuff when I was her

  • age. You should have seen her face when I handed her a copy of the book. Here's my situation.

  • I started my own business in 2011. It hasn't taken off as fast as I expected but I am not

  • giving up. My husband doesn't really believe it will ever happen and I feel his confidence

  • in me is a key pillar of my success. I work full time, teach fitness twice a week, go

  • to school online, and I have two kids. I feel like I'm having an affair when I'm working

  • on my business during the little time I have left. The guilt remarks never ends, so my

  • Q: how do you bring your spouse on board to see the bigger picture when things are not

  • moving fast as expected?"

  • Vanessa, this is an awesome question that so many of us can relate to, but listen up

  • ya'll because what I'm about to share with Vanessa is specific to her relationship. However,

  • just because I'm talking in heterosexual married terms does not mean that you can't find ways

  • to apply this insight to your relationship whatever that looks like for you. And mamas

  • and papas watching with your little ones, this episode does contain some mature content,

  • so please use your discretion or your headphones.

  • Here's the deal. When your spouse isn't on board with your business, the first place

  • you got to look is in the mirror because you want to see what part you're playing in the

  • fact that he's not totally on board. I know in relationships it takes two to tango, and

  • of course, your husband has his part to play as well. However, in this lifetime, the only

  • person that we have control over is ourselves so that's the place we got to start.

  • I sense from your tone that you really love your husband and your family and that's fantastic.

  • The great news here is that there are three simple but highly effective steps that you

  • can take to get your spouse on board with your big dreams.

  • Step #1 -- Make him your #1 priority

  • When your man doesn't feel like he's your #1 priority, the relationship begins to deteriorate.

  • Here's the thing: you can't just say he's your #1 priority. You have to really demonstrate

  • it and you have to walk the talk, and most importantly, he has to feel it. How do you

  • do that? Verbally appreciate him daily. Take a look around and catch him doing something

  • awesome and then articulate that. Tell him he's your hero. I know many women may hear

  • this and get their panties in a bunch and say "he doesn't do that for me"; doesn't matter.

  • You need to go first. As with any relationship, if you want to change it, you have to take

  • responsibility, take charge and make it happen. Can it really be this simple? Yes, but it

  • takes effort consistently, which brings me to step #2, which is all about consistency.

  • Step #2 -- Blow his mind, regularly.

  • Vanessa, as a woman, you know that there are certain things you can do to blow his mind.

  • You have to make it your job to blow his mind and if you haven't been blowing his mind that

  • much lately, I can pretty much guarantee that the lack of mind blowing is definitely a contributing

  • factor to your husband not being 100% supportive of your business. Do something about it. In

  • a committed relationship, sex is healing. I know this because Marvin Gaye told me so.

  • Bottom line and yes, it's a tweetable.

  • "If your husband's not impressed with your business, make it your job to blow his mind."

  • Step #3 -- Get and stay on the same page.

  • One of the first places that I go when I'm trying to help someone grow their business

  • is I ask them about their vision; what exactly are they trying to create and why. In other

  • words, what does success look like to them? 99% of the time when I ask someone this question,

  • they look like a deer in headlights because they've never really taken the time to clearly

  • articulate their big vision. Chances are you may not have articulated your big vision to

  • yourself, or more importantly, to your husband. Your husband is not a mind reader, and even

  • if you have your big plans all up in your head, if you haven't fully articulated this

  • to your husband, and more importantly, made sure that he got it, he probably feels in

  • the dark.

  • Here's your assignment. Clearly articulate your big business vision.

  • What does your business look like in a year, in two years, in five?

  • What do you expect it to earn, best case scenario and worst case scenario?

  • What is it going to take in terms of your daily and weekly time to make it a success?

  • What kind of financial commitment will it take from you and your family?

  • What's the timeline?

  • And what's your plan B if things don't work out and when do you pivot to it?

  • The point is to lay everything out in writing so it's not some vague dream in your head,

  • but it's actually a concrete plan and you're including him in the process, then you want

  • to get his feedback. See what he feels about all this; get his questions, his concerns,

  • really listen to everything he has to say, and make sure as your business journey continues

  • that you keep communicating about your progress and your frustrations so he does not have

  • to wonder. This is going to be really good for you guys. It'll keep you connected and

  • it'll keep you from feeling like your business is your secret part time lover. While these

  • steps aren't exhaustive, they will help tremendously, Vanessa. Thank you so much for that Q. I loved

  • A-ing and hopefully you're going to get some great results, so keep us posted.

  • Now I'd love to hear from you. Have you ever felt unsupported by your spouse for your big

  • vision? What steps did you take to get them on board? I would love to hear your story

  • and your experience.

  • As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com so go

  • there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you like this video? I happen to love it. If you did, please subscribe to our channel

  • and of course share it with your friends. If you want even more great resources to create

  • a business and a life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only

  • talk about in email, get your buns over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for e-mail updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next time on

  • MarieTV.

Hey, it's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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