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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love. And I have a question for you, does trying to be a success ever feel

  • exhausting? I mean, were all connected to technology 24/7, and most of us feel a

  • pressure to make more money and gain more power and more recognition. Well, if youre

  • anything like me, what you're really craving is a life that’s more sustainable and more

  • meaningful. And if that sounds like you, you are in for a treat today because my guest

  • is not only someone I deeply admire, but she’s also on a mission to help us redefine success

  • on our own terms and create a life that’s filled with well being and wisdom and wonder.

  • Arianna Huffington is the chair, president, and editor in chief of the Huffington Post

  • Media Group, a nationally syndicated columnist, and author of 13 books. In May 2005 she launched

  • The Huffington Post, a news and blog site that quickly became one of the most widely

  • read, linked to, and frequently cited media brands on the internet. In 2012 the site won

  • a Pulitzer Prize for national reporting. In 2013 she was named to Forbes most powerful

  • women list. In 2006 and again in 2011, she was named to the Time 100. Time Magazine’s

  • list of the world’s 100 most influential people. Originally from Greece, she moved

  • to England when she was 16 and graduated from Cambridge University with an MA in economics.

  • At 21, she became president of the famed debating society: The Cambridge Union. She serves on

  • several boards including El Pais, Prisa, The Center for Public Integrity, and the Committee

  • to Protect Journalists. Her 14th book, Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and

  • Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder, will be published by Crown in March

  • of 2014.

  • Ariana, thank you so much for being here. This is an incredible honor to have you here

  • on MarieTV and in the midst of this incredible new book, which, by the way for everyone,

  • Thrive. I’ve read it cover to cover. I honestly believe with all of my heart this is a book

  • that every human being on the planet needs to read. Thank you for being on MarieTV.

  • Thank you so much. It’s such a lovely set and I love what youve done, so thank you

  • for having me.

  • Let’s start with… I mean, the fact that you are such an incredible woman. I mean,

  • your career has taken you around the world. Most of your adult life youve been on the

  • public stage and one of the stories you start the book off with was in 2007 you found yourself

  • in your home office on the floor in a pool of blood. What happened?

  • So I start the book like that because it really was the beginning of the journey that led

  • to Thrive. It was April 2007, April 6, and it was 2 years after I had launched The Huffington

  • Post and you know how it is when you have a startup. A lot of work getting the baby

  • to grow and getting investors and getting the work done. And at the same time I have

  • 2 daughters and one of them was about to go to college. So we had been on a college tour

  • and our agreement was that I would not be looking at my Blackberry while we were together

  • during the day. So at night she would go to sleep and I would start working. So I came

  • back home completely sleep deprived and exhausted and collapsed and fell on my desk. I mean,

  • my head hit my desk, broke my chin bone, 4 stitches in my right eye. But also it started

  • me going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out if there was anything more seriously wrong

  • with me. It turned out there wasn’t anything medically wrong but there was a lot wrong

  • with the way I was leading my life. And so that started me on trying to define what success

  • is because by external definitions of success, I was successful. But by any sane definition

  • of success, I was not because I had undermined my health and as I realized as I started studying

  • the implications of sleep deprivation, I had also undermined my ability to make good decisions.

  • Which brings me, actually, to one of your, what I feel, it was such a great piece of

  • advice and it was so fun when we get into the well being aspect of Thrive, which was

  • for everyone, of course, but especially for women. Your recommendation for all of us to

  • sleep our way to the top. Which not only gave me a chuckle, but I wanted to thank you because

  • I’ve been doing a lot more of that lately.

  • Oh, so glad. That makes me feel really good because I really profoundly believe that if

  • you get enough sleep and enough sleep depends on each human being. Most scientific findings

  • show that you need between 7 and 8 hours. Some people need more, some people need less.

  • We know it’s when we wake up without an alarm. So I went from getting 4 to 5 hours

  • to getting 7 to 8 hours. I became a sleep evangelist. I talk everywhere about that,

  • so much so that the Harvard School of Medicine’s sleep division invited me to join their counsel

  • and now I get even more information about the importance of sleep. And there’s so

  • much science around it now, the connection between sleep and high blood pressure and

  • stress and diabetes and obesity. It’s just amazing. So at the end of the well being section

  • where I give small steps that we can take to make our life fuller, richer, and less

  • stressful, the first one is start by at least getting 30 minutes more sleep than you are

  • getting right now. Whatever it is that youre getting, unless you're one of the few wise

  • people who get enough sleep, youll see the difference. And then that in itself will

  • reinforce you into developing better sleep habits. And I have a lot of tapes, as you

  • know, about how you can ensure that you get a good night’s sleep. I always have a hot

  • bath before I go to sleep because it just puts the day away and you can really go to

  • sleep leaving everything behind you and wake up recharged. And key, key very important,

  • not to charge your devices next to your bed.

  • Yes.

  • That is essential. I have a device free zone around my bedroom. You know, nothing is going

  • to happen that cannot wait until the morning.

  • It’s so, so important, and I have to tell you how much I appreciate the message that

  • youre sharing, especially around sleep, because as a woman who loves to study success,

  • I’m very driven myself, very ambitious, so much of my life I feel like I’ve been

  • given an opposite message, which is sleep less and you only need 4 to 5 hours. And I

  • have to tell you, it reallyit opened my heart and it really made a difference to me

  • to have you share this message. And Josh, my fiance, was thrilled because he’s like,

  • you know, he’s paying attention to what I’m reading. He’s like, “What does Arianna

  • say?” And I was like, “I need to go to bed right now.” So it's been awesome, so

  • thank you for that.

  • That is, you know, I’m so happy when young women like you who have your whole life ahead

  • of you can actually begin these healthy practices because then everything is going to be affected

  • and you can enjoy your success instead of actually allowing it to undermine your health

  • and your joy because that’s the other thing. When were exhausted, we drag ourselves

  • through the day instead of enjoying the day.

  • Yes. And on that same theme, we were talking in the book and I felt like I was having a

  • conversation with you, was about this idea of time famine and that really struck me,

  • that phrase. And something that I appreciated was how open you were about your own struggles

  • with time, your relationship with time. And I’ve experienced that myself. I love what

  • I do so much and there’s times where I say, “I know what down time can do for me, but

  • I wish I had 48 hours in a day to get all of these ideas out into the world.” So what

  • is time famine and how can we transform it?

  • Well, time famine is something that so many of us suffer from, and especially the fact

  • that were always breathlessly feeling that we are running out of time or we don't have

  • enough time. And people value having enough time more than they value anything, including

  • their careers and their children. It’s just amazing the difference it makes to our sense

  • of well being. So the key here is to prioritize what really matters. Brian Andres has this

  • great quote that I love, I’ve actually put on napkins. It says, “Everything changed

  • in her life the day she realized that she had enough time for all the important things.”

  • And if we realize that, then some things will just not get done, and that’s just fine.

  • And a key thing here is our relationship with our email and sometimes we feel like were

  • the slaves of email.

  • Yes.

  • You have to finish everything, you have to respond to everything because were such

  • perfect, young women, in your case, and in my case much older. But the point is that

  • as women we have this idea of having to do everything perfectly and that includes answering

  • every email. So, first of all, making sure we stop answering emails at least an hour

  • before we go to sleep. That is key. Because then it’s like down time. And I’d rather

  • read real books, actually. I love reading real books and underlining them.

  • I do too. When I got my iPad I was happy about my iPad for the idea of traveling because

  • I love to read so much and I didn't have to have a whole other piece of luggage for my

  • books. But I will tell you, I read much more traditional books and I don't think I’ll

  • ever give them up. There's something about holding it or being on the beach or being

  • on an airplane and the smell of a real book that’s justit’s amazing. And I think

  • you have a genius tip, which I’m excited for you to share, about completing things

  • on your to do list that maybe have been lingering around for a while. And when I read this in

  • Thrive, I literally, I gave you a fist pump, I was like, “Yes, this is awesome.”

  • Well, what I did is on my 40th birthday I did a kind of life audit and realized that

  • there were a lot of incomplete projects. Things that I had said to myself I was going to do.

  • Like I really wanted to learn German because I have so many favorite German authors, itll

  • be great to be able to read them in the original. I really wanted to become a good skier because

  • I’m a terrible one. I really wanted to learn to cook. And then I suddenly had to acknowledge

  • to myself that I was never going to actually do these things. So I came up with this phrase

  • that you can complete a project by dropping it. And so I that day completed German and

  • cooking and skiing and now when my daughters, who love to ski, want to go skiing I kind

  • of sit by the fire and read a book and have some hot chocolate. And it feels great, I

  • acknowledge this is it. I was never going to be good at it.

  • Isn’t that such a freeing thing?

  • It’s kind of liberating.

  • It’s really liberating. We do this a lot. We have a big priorities list in our company

  • with all the different projects we wanna do and often times every 3 months or so well

  • revisit it. And I can’t tell you the sigh of relief and the cheers that come when we

  • look at something that we previously thought we wanted to do and we say, “You know what?

  • Not true anymore. We don't need to do that,” and the whole line goes through it and everyone’s

  • like, “Woo!” It’s that idea. And I love that you pointed that out that that’s just

  • giving yourself permission to let these things go. And I think you touched on something so

  • important before and it's so important for me, this perfectionism. And I know it’s

  • something that I’ve struggled with my whole life, I have very high standards for myself

  • and my creativity, but it does come at a cost. And, again, this book has been so important

  • for me because I look up to you and I consider you a role model and to hear the lessons that

  • youre imparting to us now, it’s justit’s such a gift. So I wanna thank you for

  • that. Well, Marie, I find I’m much more creative

  • when I’ve actually taken care of myself. Because creativity comes from the depths and

  • so when we allow ourselves to tap into that wisdom, that intuition, we come up with our

  • best ideas.

  • Yeah. You know, as I started to complete the book, you talk about wonder. And a topic that

  • many of us don't talk about openly, and I realized I haven’t spent quite enough time

  • for myself talking about it with people I love, which is death. And I was so touched

  • by the story that you shared of your mom’s passing and her mantra, “Don’t miss the

  • moment.” And I will tell you that just today before coming here to the studio to do this

  • interview, Josh, my fiance, he… I went in to interrupt him, we work from home, and he’s…

  • I was about to run out because I was like, “Oh, I have a couple of more things to do,”

  • and he said, “No, no. Sit with me for a minute.” And I remembered that don’t miss

  • the moment and I sat there and it was so wonderful because it’s something I try and live by

  • but it’s just a great reminder. How did the experience with your mom and really tapping

  • into wonder, how has that continued to help you thrive?

  • Well, I actually dedicated the book to my mother because she lived what we call a third

  • metric life, meaning a life that goes beyond the first two metrics of money and power.

  • All her life. And now that I’m coming to some realizations that she actually embodied

  • her life, I feel that the book is like a homecoming because I’m kind of rediscovering all her

  • teachings, many of which she actually passed on to my sister and me without words, just

  • by the way she lived. And don’t miss the moment was one of them. Another one was change

  • the channel, darling. And I you think I have a strong accent, you should have heard my

  • mother. Whenever we would get really worried or anxious or obsessing about something, she

  • would say, “Change the channel.” And also my mother had no sense of hierarchy, she treated

  • human beings all the same. I remember when I was living in London I was dating a British

  • member of Parliament and one night he brought the prime minister to dinner and my mother

  • had the plumber in the kitchen dealing with a problem and asked the plumber what he thought

  • of the Prime Minister. The plumber said, “Not much. Hasn’t been good for working people.”

  • So my mother said, “Oh, let me bring him here and you can tell him directly,” and

  • that was my mom.

  • That’s awesome.

  • And that’s why in the giving section of the book, I… one of the tips, one of the

  • steps, that I ask people to consider taking is to just acknowledge every human being they

  • come into contact with during the day because so often, like, the barista a the coffee shop.

  • If were in a hotel, the cleaning crew that we pass by as we go to the elevator. We often

  • don't acknowledge them. And I think if we can just take a moment to make eye contact,

  • to say hello, it just reconnects us with ourselves and with that moment that we have.

  • Yeah. So beautiful. Arianna, I wanna thank you so much for writing this book, Thrive,

  • and for taking the time to be with all of us today because this has made a difference

  • for me in just the short time that I’ve read it and I am just honored for you to be

  • here and to share this message with everyone.

  • Thank you so much, Marie. Thank you for having me.

  • Now Arianna and I have a challenge for you. Which of the tips that we talked about today

  • is gonna help you thrive the most? What really impacted you and what can you take action

  • on starting right now? As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over

  • at MarieForleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you like this video? If so, subscribe and share it with your friends. And if you

  • want even more great resources to create a bsuiness and life that you love, plus some

  • personal insights from me that I only talk about in email, get yourself over to MarieForleo.com

  • and sign up for email updates.

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time

  • on MarieTV.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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Arianna Huffington和Marie Forleo討論茁壯成長。 (Arianna Huffington & Marie Forleo Discuss Thrive)

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