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  • Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco!

    更多的歡迎!哈囉,舊金山!

  • TEDxoh my God, blinding light!

    TEDx 喔 我的天,好亮的燈啊!

  • Hi, everybody! How are you?

    嗨,大家好!你好嗎?

  • (Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so...

    (觀眾歡呼) 很好?! 喔我的天! OK

  • My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years,

    我的名字是Mel Robbins,在過去的17年

  • I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want.

    我甚麼事都沒做,除了幫別人得到他們想要的任何東西

  • Within reason! My husband's here.

    在合理的範圍內!我老公在這呢

  • So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom,

    所以,我在幫別人處理過的問題包括法院裡、會議室、房間、

  • in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in,

    在人們的客廳,任何你想要在的房間裡

  • if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary.

    如果我在那裡,我會幫助你得到你想要的東西,不擇手段

  • For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show.

    在過去3年 – 我主持了一個在聯合播放的廣播節目

  • Five days a week, I go live in forty cities

    一周5天,我在40個城市現場直播

  • and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck.

    我和全美國覺得人生受到阻礙的男人、女人說話

  • Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now?

    你知道現在有三分之一的美國人對自己的人生不滿足嗎?

  • That is a hundred million people!

    那是一億人欸!

  • That's insane!

    太瘋狂了!

  • And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing,

    我也面對面的談論到這個問題,在我最近新開的節目裡

  • which is also insane, it's called "In-laws".

    真的是很瘋狂,名字是"姻親"

  • I move in with families across America – (Laughter)

    我搬進去和美國很多家庭同住 – (笑聲)

  • You guessed it!

    你猜到了吧!

  • who are at war with their in-laws.

    – 他們是一些正在和自己的姻親開戰的家庭

  • We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody,

    我們將他們安排在同一間房子,我在言語上暗殺每個人

  • we open up Pandora's box,

    我們打開潘朵拉的盒子

  • and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts

    然後我讓他們不要再為了甜甜圈吵架

  • and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner,

    還有誰應該主辦感恩節大餐

  • and talk about the real stuff.

    然後談談真正的問題

  • And that's what I want to talk to you about.

    這就是我想要和你們談的

  • I'm here for you.

    我會在這裡幫你

  • I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes

    我會告訴你我知道的所有事,在18分鐘內

  • about how to get what you want.

    關於你如何得到你想要的

  • So I want you to take a millisecond right now

    所以我要你現在花一毫秒的時間

  • and think about what you want.

    想想你想要甚麼

  • You!

    你!

  • And I want you to be selfish.

    我要你自私一點

  • Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now!

    忘記Simon和他所提倡的"我們" 這是關於我,馬上!

  • (Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon.

    (笑聲)(鼓掌) 抱歉,Simon

  • What do you want? And here's the deal.

    你想要甚麼?我們要這麼辦

  • I don't want it to sound good to other people.

    我不想要你講一些別人想聽的

  • Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill.

    "想要更健康"不會讓你想要移動你的大屁股到跑步機上

  • Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody,

    擺脫你的男性乳房,這樣你就可以搭訕其他人

  • now that's motivation. (Laughter)

    這才是動機(笑聲)

  • So, I want to know: What do you want?

    所以,我想知道: 你想要甚麼?

  • Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income?

    你想要減重嗎?你想要讓你的收入三級跳嗎?

  • Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love?

    你想要開始一個非營利事業嗎?你想要找到愛嗎?

  • What is it? Get it, right here.

    到底是甚麼?了解嗎,就在這裡

  • You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something.

    你知道那是甚麼,不要想破頭的去分析它,就只要選個東西

  • That's part of the problem. You won't pick.

    那就是問題之一 你不會去選

  • So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want.

    所以,我們會談談你要怎麼得到你想要的

  • And frankly, getting what you want is simple.

    老實說,得到你想要的其實很單純

  • But notice I didn't say it was easy.

    但是注意,我說的不是簡單

  • It's very simple.

    是很單純

  • In fact, if you think about it,

    事實上,如果你想想看

  • we live in the most amazing moment in time.

    我們活在一個最令人驚嘆的時刻

  • So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be,

    所以你的小腦袋瓜裡有甚麼,不論你在想甚麼

  • you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes,

    你想要透過健康的飲食來治癒你的糖尿病

  • you want to figure out how to take care of the elders

    你想要找到方法來照顧老年人

  • and start a new hospice center,

    還有開一家新的療養中心

  • you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what?

    你想要搬到非洲然後蓋一所學校... 你猜怎麼著?

  • You can walk into a book storeright now! –

    你可以走進一家書店 – 馬上! –

  • and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts

    然後買到至少10本被授權的專家寫的書

  • on how the hell you do it.

    在你到底可以怎麼做到

  • You could Google it.

    你可以Google一下

  • And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs

    你可以找到至少,我不知道 - 一千篇部落格

  • documenting the step, by step, by step transformation

    一步一步的紀錄

  • that somebody else is already doing.

    其他人已經經歷過的改變

  • You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them!

    你可以在網路上找到一些人,然後在虛擬世界跟蹤他們!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You can just walk in their footstepsjust use the science of drafting.

    你可以踩著他們的腳印走 – 就像打草稿一樣

  • Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it!

    跟隨其他人做的,因為別人已經做過了!

  • So why don't you have what you want,

    所以為什麼你還沒擁有你想要的

  • when you have all the information that you need,

    當你已經有所有你需要的資訊

  • you have the contacts that you need,

    你有你需要的門路

  • there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business,

    搞不好網路上有免費的工具可以幫助你開啟新的事業

  • or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!?

    或著加入一個團體,或者你想要做的任何勾當!?

  • It all comes down to one word:

    總結一"字"就是:

  • F*©#.

    F*©#.

  • Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about?

    閉嘴,你知道我在說甚麼嗎?

  • The f-bomb. It's everywhere!

    這個F炸彈 到處都是!

  • You hear it all the time!

    你動不動就聽到它!

  • I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word.

    我真的不懂這個字的吸引力在哪裡

  • I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it.

    我是說,當你用這個字時,你聽起來也沒有比較聰明

  • And it's really not expressing how you really feel.

    而它又並沒有真的表達出你的感覺

  • It's sort of a cheap shot to take.

    這就像是一種便宜的烈酒

  • And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine".

    當然你知道我在說的是哪個字: "fine"(很好)

  • "How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine."

    "你好嗎?" "喔,我很好"

  • Oh, really? You are?

    喔,真的嗎? 你是嗎?

  • Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine?

    拖著多餘的40磅(18公斤)到處跑,你很好?

  • Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine?

    跟你的配偶相處起來像是室友一樣,你很好?

  • You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine?

    你4個月沒有行房,你很好?

  • Really?!

    真的嗎?!

  • I don't think so!

    我不這麼認為!

  • But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius.

    但是,這就是說"你很好"很棒的部分: 這其實蠻天才的

  • Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it.

    因為如果你很好,你就不需要做任何改變

  • But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry.

    但當你想到這個字"fine",就讓我覺得很生氣

  • Here we are at a conference about being alive

    我們現在所在的這個研討會是關於"活著"

  • and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"(很好)?!

    然後你要用這個字來形容活著的感覺"fine"(很好)?!

  • What a flimsy and feeble word!

    多麼不可信又脆弱的字啊!

  • If you're crappy, say you're crappy!

    如果你覺得糟透了,說你糟透了!

  • If you're amazing say you're amazing!

    如果你覺得很棒,說你很棒!

  • Tell the truth!

    說實話!

  • And this not only goes for the social construct:

    這不只是用在社交場合:

  • "Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life",

    "喔,我不想用我討厭我的人生來煩你"

  • or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible."

    或者 "嘿,我超讚的! 但是我不想讓你感覺很差"

  • The bigger issue

    更大的問題是 –

  • The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself.

    "fine"(很好) 最大的問題是你這麼告訴你自己

  • That thing that you want, I guarantee you,

    那個你想要的東西,我向你保證

  • you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it.

    你已經說服你自己沒有也沒關係

  • That's why you're not pushing yourself.

    這就是為什麼你沒有推動你自己

  • It's the areas in your life where you've given up.

    這就是你在人生中放棄的地方

  • Where you've said,

    在那裡你曾說過

  • "Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change,

    "喔,我很好 我媽絕對不會改變的

  • so I just can't have that conversation."

    所以我就是不能跟他有那個對話"

  • "I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced,

    "我很好 我們只要等到孩子畢業,我們就可以離婚

  • so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms."

    所以我們現在就分房睡"

  • "I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills,

    "我很好 我失業了,我幾乎快付不起我的帳單

  • but whateverIt's hard to get a job."

    但是管它的 – 找工作太難了"

  • One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is,

    其中一個原因讓我覺得那個字很煩人是

  • scientists have calculated

    科學家計算過 –

  • Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter)

    喔 是的,我要下來囉! (笑聲)

  • Scientists have calculated

    科學家計算過

  • the odds

    你們

  • of you

    被生下來

  • being born.

    的機率

  • That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there.

    沒錯 他們處理過這個數字 我看到上面的你了

  • They've crunched the numbers on you

    他們處理過這個數字,關於你 –

  • Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this.

    耶,你們站起來了,你們會想要坐著聽這個

  • They've crunched the numbers on you being born.

    他們算過這個數字,關於你被生下來

  • And they took into account all of the wars,

    他們考慮了戰爭

  • and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs,

    還有自然災害、恐龍

  • and everything else.

    和其他東西

  • And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you,

    你知道那個機率,機率關於你

  • yeah, right here, put your computer away,

    耶,就是這裡,把你的電腦放旁邊

  • stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter)

    為我站起來,Doug! (笑聲)

  • So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody

    所以Doug在這裡的機率,轉過身、向大家說"嗨"

  • the odds of Doug being born

    Doug被生下來的機率

  • at the moment in time he was born,

    他出生的時刻

  • to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have,

    你被哪對父母生下來,你擁有的DNA結構

  • one in four hundred trillion!

    400兆分之一!

  • Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky!

    是不是很神奇? Doug: 我真是太幸運了!

  • Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic!

    Mel: 是的! 你不只是很好,你是極好的!

  • You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself.

    你會有改變人生的想法是有原因的,而那不是為了要折磨你自己

  • Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause)

    謝謝你 謝謝,Doug (鼓掌)

  • Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage.

    Christine 是對的,當他說你們都可以上台

  • Because all of you – we're all in this category.

    因為你們所有人 – 我們都在這個類別裡

  • One in four hundred trillion.

    400兆分之一

  • All day long you have ideas that could change your life,

    整天你會有源源不絕的想法可以改變你的人生

  • that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel,

    改變世界,改變你的感覺

  • and what do you do with them? Nothing!

    而你對它們採取甚麼行動? 沒有!

  • (Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter)

    (低聲說) 希望我不會屁股見光 (笑聲)

  • You didn't pay for that. (Laughter)

    你們又沒有付錢 (笑聲)

  • And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have

    我要你們花點時間想想,因為我們都有 –

  • I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" –

    我喜歡用這個比喻 "內心的貪睡按鈕" –

  • you have these amazing ideas that bubble up.

    你有這些很棒的點子不停地冒出來

  • You've been watching people all day

    你整天都在看人

  • and I guarantee you, like ping pong ballsbam-bam-bam

    我向你保證,就像乒乓球一樣 – 碰-碰-碰

  • and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze!

    每當你有一個想法,你會怎麼做? – 按下貪睡按鈕!

  • What's the first decision you made this morning?

    你今天早上第一個做的決定是甚麼?

  • I bet it was to go back to bed.

    我敢打賭一定是睡回籠覺

  • "Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion,

    "耶,今天的第一個決定,我是400兆分之一

  • I'm going to go back to sleep."

    我要繼續睡覺"

  • And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm!

    我了解! 你的床很舒服! 很舒適、很溫暖!

  • If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you,

    如果你很幸運,你有你愛的人在你身旁

  • or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog.

    或者我的例子,我有我老公、我的2個小孩、有時候還有一隻狗

  • And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today,

    我要提起你今天所做的第一個決定的原因是

  • and the inner snooze alarm, is because

    還有內心的貪睡按鈕,是因為

  • in any area of your life that you want to change,

    在人生中任何你想要改變的部分

  • anythere's one fact that you need to know.

    任何 – 有一個你必須要知道的事實

  • This one:

    這一個:

  • You are never going to feel like it.

    你永遠不會想要去做

  • Ever.

    絕對不會

  • No one's coming, motivation isn't happening,

    沒有人要來,動機不會自己出現

  • you're never going to feel like it.

    你永遠不會想要去做

  • Scientists call it activation energy.

    科學家叫它"活化能"

  • That's what they call the force required

    那就是為什麼他們叫它必須的力量

  • to get you to change from what you're doing

    要將你從你現在正在做的事情改變

  • on autopilot to do something new.

    從自動駕駛到嘗試新事物

  • So try this test tomorrow.

    所以明天試試看這個測驗

  • You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED.

    你覺得自己好棒棒,我知道,你來參加TED

  • (Laughter) Try this.

    (笑聲) 試試看這個

  • Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier.

    明天早上,將你的鬧鐘提早30分鐘

  • And then when it goes off, take those sheets,

    然後當它響的時候,掀起了你的棉被來、

  • throw them off, and stand up and start your day.

    把它們丟到旁邊、站起來,然後開始你的一天

  • No snooze, no delay,

    沒有貪睡、沒有遲到

  • no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" –

    沒有,"我要在這裡等5秒鐘,因為Mel沒有在這裡盯著我" –

  • Do it.

    做就對了

  • And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face

    我想要你們這麼做的原因是,因為你一定會遇到

  • with the physical, and I mean physical force

    需要身體的,我是說身體的力量

  • that's required to change your behavior.

    你需要它去改變你的行為

  • Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight

    你真的認為那些需要減重的人

  • ever feels like going on a diet?

    真的想要節食嗎?

  • Of course not!

    當然不是啊!

  • You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas

    你認為他們真的想要吃水煮雞和豆子

  • instead of a croissant?

    而不是可頌麵包嗎?

  • I don't think so!

    我不這麼認為!

  • The activation energy

    活化能

  • required to get your ass away from your computer and out your front door,

    你需要它來讓你的大屁股離開電腦、走出前門、

  • to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on,

    去散步,就像你說你會去做的那樣

  • is the exact same amount of force that it takes you

    就像是你需要它

  • to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room.

    來拉你離開你溫暖的被窩,然後把你推進一個寒冷的房間

  • What's interesting about being an adult

    當大人最有趣的事

  • is that when you become eighteen,

    是當你18歲時

  • nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself.

    沒有人會告訴你,現在管教你是你自己的責任

  • And by "parent yourself",

    說到"管教你自己"

  • I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do,

    我的意思是,做你不想做的那些無聊事是你的工作

  • so you can be everything that you're supposed to be.

    所以你就可以成為你應該要成為的那個人

  • And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it.

    而你就是忙著在等你想要做的時候再去做

  • And you're never going to!

    你永遠不會想要!

  • My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job!

    我兒子永遠不會想要離開他的任天堂遊戲機 那是我的工作!

  • Get off the damn DS!

    離開那該死的任天堂!

  • Kendall, clean up the Barbies!

    Kendall,把芭比收拾好!

  • If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up!

    如果你要在我的浴室開裸趴,至少要清乾淨嘛!

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud!

    老天,吃東西的時候嘴巴閉起來! 我們又不是在穀倉出生的動物!

  • Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry.

    好了,晚餐快好了,不要再吃零食

  • As parents, and you were a kid,

    身為一個父母,當你還是小孩時

  • your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing.

    你的父母叫你做一些你不想做的事

  • Because you won't. Ever.

    因為你永遠不會想要 絕對不會

  • Not now, not then, not ever!

    不是現在,不是等一下,永遠不會!

  • And even when you get good at something,

    就算你對於某件事很在行

  • you'll figure out something else you don't want to do.

    你也會找到其他你不想做的是

  • And then you'll plato out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring."

    然後你就會感到無聊 "我討厭這個工作 吧啦 吧啦 好無聊~"

  • But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one.

    但是你會去找新的事做嗎? 不! 你就只是一直在抱怨那件事而已

  • It's very, very simple to get what you want.

    得到你想要的東西其實非常非常單純

  • But it's not easy.

    但是並不簡單

  • You have to force yourself.

    你必須強迫你自己

  • And I mean force.

    我是說"強迫"

  • And the reason why I use the word "force" –

    我用"強迫"這個詞的原因 –

  • when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking,

    當Roz在台上說關於追蹤情緒的事時

  • and she had the picture of two sides of the brain

    他介紹的一張圖,將頭腦分成兩半

  • I look at the brain the exact same way.

    我也是這樣看待頭腦的

  • Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot

    只是我把頭腦的一邊看成自動駕駛

  • and the other side as emergency brake.

    另一邊是緊急煞車

  • That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake.

    你就只有這2種功能: 自動駕駛、緊急煞車

  • And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot.

    猜猜看你的頭腦比較喜歡哪一個: 自動駕駛