TEDx – oh my God, blinding light!

TEDx 喔 我的天，好亮的燈啊!

Hi, everybody! How are you?

嗨，大家好!你好嗎?

(Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so...

(觀眾歡呼) 很好?! 喔我的天! OK

My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years,

我的名字是Mel Robbins，在過去的17年

I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want.

我甚麼事都沒做，除了幫別人得到他們想要的任何東西

Within reason! My husband's here.

在合理的範圍內!我老公在這呢

So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom,

所以，我在幫別人處理過的問題包括法院裡、會議室、房間、

in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in,

在人們的客廳，任何你想要在的房間裡

if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary.

如果我在那裡，我會幫助你得到你想要的東西，不擇手段

For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show.

在過去3年 – 我主持了一個在聯合播放的廣播節目

Five days a week, I go live in forty cities

一周5天，我在40個城市現場直播

and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck.

我和全美國覺得人生受到阻礙的男人、女人說話

Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now?

你知道現在有三分之一的美國人對自己的人生不滿足嗎?

That is a hundred million people!

那是一億人欸!

That's insane!

太瘋狂了!

And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing,

我也面對面的談論到這個問題，在我最近新開的節目裡

which is also insane, it's called "In-laws".

真的是很瘋狂，名字是"姻親"

I move in with families across America – (Laughter)

我搬進去和美國很多家庭同住 – (笑聲)

You guessed it!

你猜到了吧!

– who are at war with their in-laws.

– 他們是一些正在和自己的姻親開戰的家庭

We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody,

我們將他們安排在同一間房子，我在言語上暗殺每個人

we open up Pandora's box,

我們打開潘朵拉的盒子

and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts

然後我讓他們不要再為了甜甜圈吵架

and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner,

還有誰應該主辦感恩節大餐

and talk about the real stuff.

然後談談真正的問題

And that's what I want to talk to you about.

這就是我想要和你們談的

I'm here for you.

我會在這裡幫你

I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes

我會告訴你我知道的所有事，在18分鐘內

about how to get what you want.

關於你如何得到你想要的

So I want you to take a millisecond right now

所以我要你現在花一毫秒的時間

and think about what you want.

想想你想要甚麼

You!

你!

And I want you to be selfish.

我要你自私一點

Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now!

忘記Simon和他所提倡的"我們" 這是關於我，馬上!

(Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon.

(笑聲)(鼓掌) 抱歉，Simon

What do you want? And here's the deal.

你想要甚麼?我們要這麼辦

I don't want it to sound good to other people.

我不想要你講一些別人想聽的

Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill.

"想要更健康"不會讓你想要移動你的大屁股到跑步機上

Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody,

擺脫你的男性乳房，這樣你就可以搭訕其他人

now that's motivation. (Laughter)

這才是動機(笑聲)

So, I want to know: What do you want?

所以，我想知道: 你想要甚麼?

Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income?

你想要減重嗎?你想要讓你的收入三級跳嗎?

Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love?

你想要開始一個非營利事業嗎?你想要找到愛嗎?

What is it? Get it, right here.

到底是甚麼?了解嗎，就在這裡

You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something.

你知道那是甚麼，不要想破頭的去分析它，就只要選個東西

That's part of the problem. You won't pick.

那就是問題之一 你不會去選

So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want.

所以，我們會談談你要怎麼得到你想要的

And frankly, getting what you want is simple.

老實說，得到你想要的其實很單純

But notice I didn't say it was easy.

但是注意，我說的不是簡單

It's very simple.

是很單純

In fact, if you think about it,

事實上，如果你想想看

we live in the most amazing moment in time.

我們活在一個最令人驚嘆的時刻

So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be,

所以你的小腦袋瓜裡有甚麼，不論你在想甚麼

you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes,

你想要透過健康的飲食來治癒你的糖尿病

you want to figure out how to take care of the elders

你想要找到方法來照顧老年人

and start a new hospice center,

還有開一家新的療養中心

you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what?

你想要搬到非洲然後蓋一所學校... 你猜怎麼著?

You can walk into a book store – right now! –

你可以走進一家書店 – 馬上! –

and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts

然後買到至少10本被授權的專家寫的書

on how the hell you do it.

在你到底可以怎麼做到

You could Google it.

你可以Google一下

And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs

你可以找到至少，我不知道 - 一千篇部落格

documenting the step, by step, by step transformation

一步一步的紀錄

that somebody else is already doing.

其他人已經經歷過的改變

You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them!

你可以在網路上找到一些人，然後在虛擬世界跟蹤他們!

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting.

你可以踩著他們的腳印走 – 就像打草稿一樣

Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it!

跟隨其他人做的，因為別人已經做過了!

So why don't you have what you want,

所以為什麼你還沒擁有你想要的

when you have all the information that you need,

當你已經有所有你需要的資訊

you have the contacts that you need,

你有你需要的門路

there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business,

搞不好網路上有免費的工具可以幫助你開啟新的事業

or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!?

或著加入一個團體，或者你想要做的任何勾當!?

It all comes down to one word:

總結一"字"就是:

F*©#.

F*©#.

Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about?

閉嘴，你知道我在說甚麼嗎?

The f-bomb. It's everywhere!

這個F炸彈 到處都是!

You hear it all the time!

你動不動就聽到它!

I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word.

我真的不懂這個字的吸引力在哪裡

I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it.

我是說，當你用這個字時，你聽起來也沒有比較聰明

And it's really not expressing how you really feel.

而它又並沒有真的表達出你的感覺

It's sort of a cheap shot to take.

這就像是一種便宜的烈酒

And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine".

當然你知道我在說的是哪個字: "fine"(很好)

"How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine."

"你好嗎?" "喔，我很好"

Oh, really? You are?

喔，真的嗎? 你是嗎?

Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine?

拖著多餘的40磅(18公斤)到處跑，你很好?

Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine?

跟你的配偶相處起來像是室友一樣，你很好?

You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine?

你4個月沒有行房，你很好?

Really?!

真的嗎?!

I don't think so!

我不這麼認為!

But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius.

但是，這就是說"你很好"很棒的部分: 這其實蠻天才的

Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it.

因為如果你很好，你就不需要做任何改變

But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry.

但當你想到這個字"fine"，就讓我覺得很生氣

Here we are at a conference about being alive

我們現在所在的這個研討會是關於"活著"

and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"(很好)?!

然後你要用這個字來形容活著的感覺"fine"(很好)?!

What a flimsy and feeble word!

多麼不可信又脆弱的字啊!

If you're crappy, say you're crappy!

如果你覺得糟透了，說你糟透了!

If you're amazing say you're amazing!

如果你覺得很棒，說你很棒!

Tell the truth!

說實話!

And this not only goes for the social construct:

這不只是用在社交場合:

"Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life",

"喔，我不想用我討厭我的人生來煩你"

or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible."

或者 "嘿，我超讚的! 但是我不想讓你感覺很差"

The bigger issue –

更大的問題是 –

The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself.

"fine"(很好) 最大的問題是你這麼告訴你自己

That thing that you want, I guarantee you,

那個你想要的東西，我向你保證

you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it.

你已經說服你自己沒有也沒關係

That's why you're not pushing yourself.

這就是為什麼你沒有推動你自己

It's the areas in your life where you've given up.

這就是你在人生中放棄的地方

Where you've said,

在那裡你曾說過

"Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change,

"喔，我很好 我媽絕對不會改變的

so I just can't have that conversation."

所以我就是不能跟他有那個對話"

"I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced,

"我很好 我們只要等到孩子畢業，我們就可以離婚

so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms."

所以我們現在就分房睡"

"I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills,

"我很好 我失業了，我幾乎快付不起我的帳單

but whatever – It's hard to get a job."

但是管它的 – 找工作太難了"

One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is,

其中一個原因讓我覺得那個字很煩人是

scientists have calculated –

科學家計算過 –

Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter)

喔 是的，我要下來囉! (笑聲)

Scientists have calculated

科學家計算過

the odds

你們

of you

被生下來

being born.

的機率

That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there.

沒錯 他們處理過這個數字 我看到上面的你了

They've crunched the numbers on you –

他們處理過這個數字，關於你 –

Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this.

耶，你們站起來了，你們會想要坐著聽這個

They've crunched the numbers on you being born.

他們算過這個數字，關於你被生下來

And they took into account all of the wars,

他們考慮了戰爭

and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs,

還有自然災害、恐龍

and everything else.

和其他東西

And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you,

你知道那個機率，機率關於你

yeah, right here, put your computer away,

耶，就是這裡，把你的電腦放旁邊

stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter)

為我站起來，Doug! (笑聲)

So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody –

所以Doug在這裡的機率，轉過身、向大家說"嗨"

the odds of Doug being born

Doug被生下來的機率

at the moment in time he was born,

他出生的時刻

to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have,

你被哪對父母生下來，你擁有的DNA結構

one in four hundred trillion!

400兆分之一!

Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky!

是不是很神奇? Doug: 我真是太幸運了!

Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic!

Mel: 是的! 你不只是很好，你是極好的!

You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself.

你會有改變人生的想法是有原因的，而那不是為了要折磨你自己

Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause)

謝謝你 謝謝，Doug (鼓掌)

Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage.

Christine 是對的，當他說你們都可以上台

Because all of you – we're all in this category.

因為你們所有人 – 我們都在這個類別裡

One in four hundred trillion.

400兆分之一

All day long you have ideas that could change your life,

整天你會有源源不絕的想法可以改變你的人生

that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel,

改變世界，改變你的感覺

and what do you do with them? Nothing!

而你對它們採取甚麼行動? 沒有!

(Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter)

(低聲說) 希望我不會屁股見光 (笑聲)

You didn't pay for that. (Laughter)

你們又沒有付錢 (笑聲)

And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have –

我要你們花點時間想想，因為我們都有 –

I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" –

我喜歡用這個比喻 "內心的貪睡按鈕" –

you have these amazing ideas that bubble up.

你有這些很棒的點子不停地冒出來

You've been watching people all day

你整天都在看人

and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam

我向你保證，就像乒乓球一樣 – 碰-碰-碰

and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze!

每當你有一個想法，你會怎麼做? – 按下貪睡按鈕!

What's the first decision you made this morning?

你今天早上第一個做的決定是甚麼?

I bet it was to go back to bed.

我敢打賭一定是睡回籠覺

"Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion,

"耶，今天的第一個決定，我是400兆分之一

I'm going to go back to sleep."

我要繼續睡覺"

And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm!

我了解! 你的床很舒服! 很舒適、很溫暖!

If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you,

如果你很幸運，你有你愛的人在你身旁

or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog.

或者我的例子，我有我老公、我的2個小孩、有時候還有一隻狗

And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today,

我要提起你今天所做的第一個決定的原因是

and the inner snooze alarm, is because

還有內心的貪睡按鈕，是因為

in any area of your life that you want to change,

在人生中任何你想要改變的部分

any – there's one fact that you need to know.

任何 – 有一個你必須要知道的事實

This one:

這一個:

You are never going to feel like it.

你永遠不會想要去做

Ever.

絕對不會

No one's coming, motivation isn't happening,

沒有人要來，動機不會自己出現

you're never going to feel like it.

你永遠不會想要去做

Scientists call it activation energy.

科學家叫它"活化能"

That's what they call the force required

那就是為什麼他們叫它必須的力量

to get you to change from what you're doing

要將你從你現在正在做的事情改變

on autopilot to do something new.

從自動駕駛到嘗試新事物

So try this test tomorrow.

所以明天試試看這個測驗

You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED.

你覺得自己好棒棒，我知道，你來參加TED

(Laughter) Try this.

(笑聲) 試試看這個

Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier.

明天早上，將你的鬧鐘提早30分鐘

And then when it goes off, take those sheets,

然後當它響的時候，掀起了你的棉被來、

throw them off, and stand up and start your day.

把它們丟到旁邊、站起來，然後開始你的一天

No snooze, no delay,

沒有貪睡、沒有遲到

no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" –

沒有，"我要在這裡等5秒鐘，因為Mel沒有在這裡盯著我" –

Do it.

做就對了

And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face

我想要你們這麼做的原因是，因為你一定會遇到

with the physical, and I mean physical force

需要身體的，我是說身體的力量

that's required to change your behavior.

你需要它去改變你的行為

Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight

你真的認為那些需要減重的人

ever feels like going on a diet?

真的想要節食嗎?

Of course not!

當然不是啊!

You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas

你認為他們真的想要吃水煮雞和豆子

instead of a croissant?

而不是可頌麵包嗎?

I don't think so!

我不這麼認為!

The activation energy

活化能

required to get your ass away from your computer and out your front door,

你需要它來讓你的大屁股離開電腦、走出前門、

to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on,

去散步，就像你說你會去做的那樣

is the exact same amount of force that it takes you

就像是你需要它

to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room.

來拉你離開你溫暖的被窩，然後把你推進一個寒冷的房間

What's interesting about being an adult

當大人最有趣的事

is that when you become eighteen,

是當你18歲時

nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself.

沒有人會告訴你，現在管教你是你自己的責任

And by "parent yourself",

說到"管教你自己"

I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do,

我的意思是，做你不想做的那些無聊事是你的工作

so you can be everything that you're supposed to be.

所以你就可以成為你應該要成為的那個人

And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it.

而你就是忙著在等你想要做的時候再去做

And you're never going to!

你永遠不會想要!

My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job!

我兒子永遠不會想要離開他的任天堂遊戲機 那是我的工作!

Get off the damn DS!

離開那該死的任天堂!

Kendall, clean up the Barbies!

Kendall，把芭比收拾好!

If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up!

如果你要在我的浴室開裸趴，至少要清乾淨嘛!

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud!

老天，吃東西的時候嘴巴閉起來! 我們又不是在穀倉出生的動物!

Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry.

好了，晚餐快好了，不要再吃零食

As parents, and you were a kid,

身為一個父母，當你還是小孩時

your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing.

你的父母叫你做一些你不想做的事

Because you won't. Ever.

因為你永遠不會想要 絕對不會

Not now, not then, not ever!

不是現在，不是等一下，永遠不會!

And even when you get good at something,

就算你對於某件事很在行

you'll figure out something else you don't want to do.

你也會找到其他你不想做的是

And then you'll plato out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring."

然後你就會感到無聊 "我討厭這個工作 吧啦 吧啦 好無聊~"

But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one.

但是你會去找新的事做嗎? 不! 你就只是一直在抱怨那件事而已

It's very, very simple to get what you want.

得到你想要的東西其實非常非常單純

But it's not easy.

但是並不簡單

You have to force yourself.

你必須強迫你自己

And I mean force.

我是說"強迫"

And the reason why I use the word "force" –

我用"強迫"這個詞的原因 –

when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking,

當Roz在台上說關於追蹤情緒的事時

and she had the picture of two sides of the brain –

他介紹的一張圖，將頭腦分成兩半

I look at the brain the exact same way.

我也是這樣看待頭腦的

Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot

只是我把頭腦的一邊看成自動駕駛

and the other side as emergency brake.

另一邊是緊急煞車

That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake.

你就只有這2種功能: 自動駕駛、緊急煞車

And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot.

猜猜看你的頭腦比較喜歡哪一個: 自動駕駛

You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there

你們都有過這個經驗，就是你開車去工作，當你到的時候