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  • This is an office.

    這是間辦公室。

  • It is where many of you will spend the majority of your waking life.

    許多人大半輩子清醒的時間都會在這裡度過。

  • And these are the things that will inevitably happen while you're there.

    而以下是你待在這裡的時候無法避免的事。

  • You will begin your time working in an office, wearing your finest clothing, only to wind up not giving a sh*t.

    你剛進公司的時候,你會穿上你最好的衣服,但慢慢地你就不在乎了。

  • Regardless of your best intentions, you will develop an addiction to caffeine.

    不管你的初衷是什麼,最後你都會咖啡因上癮。

  • No matter what your relationship status, you will develop some sort of crush on a co-worker.

    不管你的感情狀態如何,你會開始對某位同事有好感。

  • You will fall into one of two camps: The people who are always freezing...or the people who are constantly hot.

    你會落入兩個陣營之一:永遠在喊冷的那群人,或者永遠在喊熱的那群人。

  • You will start with one personal item in your office drawer and then one day you'll open it up and realize your entire life is in there.

    你辦公室的抽屜裡從只有一件私人物品,到有天你打開它,發現你的所有家當都在裡面了。

  • Someone in your office will creep you out.

    辦公室裡會有個人會讓你嚇個半死。

  • And you will bond with someone else over mutually being creeped out.

    你會跟有同感的人培養出更緊密的關係。

  • You will get exceptionally good at hiding Facebook on your computer.

    你在電腦上隱藏臉書頁面的功力會異常得好。

  • At some point, you will hear one of your co-workers pooping.

    有一天,你會聽到某個同事大便的聲音。

  • That will be a low point.

    那會是你一天中的低潮。

  • You'll come face-to-face with the co-worker in the restroom and realize that they don't wash their hands and that will change everything.

    你會在廁所裡撞見某個同事,然後發現他們不洗手,而那將改變一切。

  • You'll gain at least five pounds of fat from all the birthday cookies, cakes and red velvet cupcakes that keep floating around.

    你會因為經常出現的生日餅乾、蛋糕跟紅絲絨蛋糕至少胖五磅。

  • And just when you try to cut down on the sweets, your co-workers will pull you back in.

    當你想減少甜食的時候,你的同事又會拉你下水。

  • You will fantasize about doing unspeakably strange things to your co-workers.

    你會幻想對同事做一些不可告人的怪事。

  • At some point, you'll bring a personal friend to visit and it will be unexpectedly awkward to introduce them to anyone you work with.

    到了某個時刻,你會某個朋友來辦公室,而當你把他們介紹給任何同事時,場面會變得意外地尷尬。

  • You will get really excited about being good at some small task and then hate it once everyone else starts asking you to do it for them.

    你會因為對某件小事很在行而感到興奮,然後當每個人都因此請你幫忙時感到厭煩。

  • And you will form a group of friends in that office who will make every day a whole lot better.

    你也會在辦公室認識一群朋友,他們讓你的每一天變得更加美好。

This is an office.

這是間辦公室。

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真的!15 個在辦公室都會遇到的事 (15 Things That Inevitably Happen When You Work in an Office)

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