If you don't learn to love yourself first, don’t be surprised when jealousy and insecurity start to rear their ugly  heads sooner than later in a new relationship.

如果你不懂得先愛自己，嫉妒心和不安全感等醜陋的負面情緒逐漸浮現是遲早的事。

現在進行式

You're in conversation, things are humming along nicely, and then out of nowhere, the awkward silence rears its head.

你在跟人聊天，進展良好。突然之間，尷尬的沈默襲來。

情態助動詞 A2

At that moment, your mind goes completely blank, you don't know what to say, and you can sense the other person's eyes wandering as they look for someone else to talk to.

此刻，你的腦袋一片空白，完全不知道該說些什麼。你感覺到對方的眼神開始飄移，想去找別人說話。

That scenario sucks, so here are five tips to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.

這種場面實在太尷尬了，所以我要教你 5 個技巧，確保你在談話中不再話不投機。

First, when you find yourself in that situation where your mind has gone blank, play "Reminds Me of".

首先，當你發現自己陷入這種局面，腦袋中一片空白時，先試試「這讓我想到」這個技巧。

That just means that you look to the environment around you and say, "You know, that reminds me of..." and then fill in the blank.

意思就是你可以看一下周圍環境，挑選一件事情然後說：「嘿！這讓我想到... 」，然後把話題接續下去。

It's great for opening new conversational threads, and it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story, which is how many groups of friends interact all the time.

這對開啟新話題非常有幫助，也可以在別人說完一件事後接話使用，朋友間聚會聊天時常常可以用上。

A lingua franca is a common language that serves as a bridge between speakers with different native languages.

通用語是擁有不同母語的交談者所共同理解的語言，能夠作為他們之間的橋樑。

Communication is necessary in order to bridge the differences between opposing groups.

要在持不同意見的雙方之間搭建橋樑，溝通是必要的。

That's because people are drawn to others who they feel are similar to themselves, and related stories can build that bridge.

因為人們容易被與自己相似的人吸引，而分享相同故事經驗可以搭起你們之間的橋樑。

Just be sure not to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs, or else you can feel like one-upping.

但切記不要一直把自己的故事講得比別人厲害，不然會給人一種你在攀比高底的感覺。

Second, when you ask questions, keep them open-ended as often as possible.

第二點，問問題時，盡可能問開放性問題。

So rather than saying, "Oh, you're from Toronto. Do you like it there?"

所以比起說：「噢，你來自多倫多。你喜歡那裡嗎？」

Being intellectually curious is an attractive attribute.

The visitor's curious behavior raised concerns.

那個訪客奇怪的行為讓人不安。

好奇心害死貓。(過於好奇往往會惹上麻煩。)

You might say, "How do you like Toronto?" "I'm curious to hear more about it."

你可以說：「你覺得多倫多怎麼樣？」「我想要瞭解多一點。」

The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence.

前者會在簡短回話後導致尷尬的沈默。

The latter gets the other person talking about the things that they like, which is going to open up more conversational threads.

而後者讓對方聊起他們喜歡的東西，並開啟更多話題。

Also, just remember the rule that every three-year-old knows about conversation, which is that simply asking why is a great way to get people to open up more.

而且，記得每個三歲小孩都知道的聊天技巧，那就是問「為什麼？」，這讓人們更容易與你分享更多他們的想法。

So when someone mentions that they are a consultant for instance, you might ask: "Why did you decide to get into consulting?"

所以當別人提到他們的職業是顧問時，你可以說：「你為什麼進入顧問業？」

To be clear, unlike three-year-olds, you don't have to say the word "why" over and over and over.

先聲明，不用像三歲小孩一樣，一直重複問「為什麼？為什麼？為什麼？」

But drilling down into their motivations will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.

而是深入了解對方的動機，這通常能使你們的交談更加有深度。

Third, for the worst case scenario, when conversation just flat-out stalls, use revival questions.

第三點，當最糟的狀況發生：你們徹徹底底沒話聊時，用這些重燃話題的問句吧。

These are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead.

這些問句跟原本聊的內容無關，卻可以讓對話起死回生。

If you're in a new group and conversation dies, after initial pleasantries, a great revival question is: "How do you guys all know one another?"

如果你才剛加入一個團體然後沒話聊時，客套話結束後，你可以問：「你們都怎麼認識的啊？」

There's almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from.

這些相遇故事中，總有些能促進新話題的內容。

If you're only speaking to one person, you can say instead, "So what's your story?"

如果你跟對方單獨聊天，可以改成：「你有什麼自己的故事可以分享嗎？」

The great thing about this question is that it is so open-ended that the other person will probably guide you towards the topics that they want to talk about.

這個問句的好處在於，它非常的開放，能讓對方直接引導到自己想談論的主題上。

The proposal was met with great enthusiasm.

The audience broke into an enthusiastic round of applause.

Usually responding with something like, "You mean what do I do for work or what do I like to do for fun?"

通常他們會像這樣回覆：「你想問工作方面還是我的興趣？」

Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with.

他們的語調和熱情通常會告訴你該從哪裡開啟話題。

Lastly, for people you already know well, ask them about their exciting plans for the future.

最後，對於已經熟識的人，你可以問問他們未來有沒有什麼令自己感到興奮的計畫。

This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable, which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.

這是個很好的問題，因為每隔一段時間就可以問一次，很適合用於辦公室或工作場合與人聊天時。

Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read.

第四點則是用冷讀術讚美別人。

So if someone is particularly smiley, you might say, "You look like the type who would be great with kids."

所以如果某人常常面帶微笑，你可以說：「你很像那種容易跟小孩相處的人。」

Or if they're super strong, you might say, "You look like you're pretty into fitness."

或是對方很強壯，你可以說：「你看起來很喜歡健身。」

If you get it right, they're probably going to open up and tell you more about it.

如果你猜對了，他們就會打開心胸跟你聊更多。

But even if you're wrong, you can talk about what it is that gave you that impression in the first place.

就算你猜錯了，你仍可以跟對方說是什麼原因給你這種印象。

Either way, you've got new conversational material to work with.

And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script so that you're not the one worried about running out of things to say.

第五點，也是最後一個技巧，那就是「攻守交換」，讓你不再是擔心沒話聊的那方。

Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward by getting more comfortable with silence.

與之前相反，先靜默片刻，讓對方去想話題。

Seriously, three seconds might feel like a long time, but if you can just take a deep breath while maintaining easy eye contact,

老實說，三秒感覺很長，但你如果能深呼吸一口氣，保持自然眼神接觸，

more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question.

通常對方就會回應或提出問題。

Would you care to elaborate on the reason for your absence?

你可以詳細說明為什麼缺席嗎？

Or if you really want to encourage them to continue, repeat back the last few words that they said.

如果你真的想要他們繼續說下去，重複他們句末的最後幾個字。

This mirroring invites them to elaborate and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.

重複對方的話會讓對方願意解釋更多，並有效地讓對方打開心胸。

So there you have it. Five quick and easy tactics that you can use today to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation.

你已經知道了 5 個簡單的快速攻略，確保你永遠不會在交談中沒話聊。

If you'd like these tips and want more advanced tips, you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University.

如果你喜歡這些技巧，而且想學更多，可以看看我在 Charisma University 開設的線上課程。

It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist, not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions,

上面有我全部的最佳技巧，讓你成為溝通達人。更不用說其他不同的單元，教導你如何創造良好的第一印象、

telling captivating stories, developing rock-solid confidence, and becoming an inspiring leader.

有魅力地講故事、培養堅若磐石的自信、以及成為激勵人心的領導者。

You can learn more and join today if you're interested by clicking the button now.

如果有興趣，按下按鈕，加入並學到更多。

If you like this video and more like it on YouTube, make sure to subscribe to the channel and click that notification bell.

如果喜歡這部影片，想要更多類似地影片出現在你的 YouTube 推薦上，記得訂閱頻道並打開通知。

I hope that you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.

希望你們喜歡這部影片，下次見！

想要交朋友，卻有社交恐懼嗎？和朋友交談時常常詞窮嗎？想知道如何成為更有魅力的人嗎？讓這部影片教你怎麼做！ 1rears its (ugly) head 0:06 rears its ugly head 這個片語的意思是「某種負面的特質逐漸顯現出來」。 If you don't learn to love yourself...