基礎被動語態

A few days after my husband Paul was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer,

當我先生保羅被診斷出 第四期肺癌的幾天後，

We just don&#39;t know what OK means yet."

那時的我們並不知道 「沒事」意味著什麼。

Paul and I had met as first-year medical students at Yale.

我剛認識保羅時， 我們都是耶魯醫學系新生。

當時的他聰明、善良， 而且相當風趣。

He used to keep a gorilla suit in the trunk of his car,

他會把大猩猩的人偶服放在後車廂，

and he&#39;d say, "It&#39;s for emergencies only."

然後說：「這是以備不時之需。」

I fell in love with Paul as I watched the care he took with his patients.

我愛上保羅， 因為他是如此細心地照顧病人；

他願意花很多時間陪病人聊天，

seeking to understand the experience of illness

而不只是提供專業的醫療照護。

後來，他說當他看到我 因心臟停止的心電圖而哭泣，

when he saw me cry over an EKG of a heart that had ceased beating.

but even in the heady days of young love,

we were learning how to approach suffering together.

and Paul was finishing his training as a neurosurgeon

保羅正完成他的腦神經外科訓練，

也是在那個時候， 他的體重開始下降，

He developed excruciating back pain and a cough that wouldn&#39;t go away.

出現背部劇痛和長期咳嗽的症狀。

And when he was admitted to the hospital,

a CT scan revealed tumors in Paul&#39;s lungs and in his bones.

We had both cared for patients with devastating diagnoses;

我和保羅都曾照顧病情嚴重的患者，

We lived with Paul&#39;s illness for 22 months.

而現在，輪到我們來照顧自己。

He wrote a memoir about facing mortality.

We learned directly how to struggle through really tough medical decisions.

The day we took Paul into the hospital for the last time

我們從這個經驗中， 學習做出每個艱難的抉擇。

I knew that wasn&#39;t just a brave decision.

我知道這不只是一個勇敢的決定，

Paul didn&#39;t want a ventilator and CPR.

保羅並不想要使用呼吸器 和施行心肺復甦術。

I&#39;ve always thought of myself as a caregiver --

我總是將我自己視為照護提供者，

and taking care of Paul deepened what that meant.

Watching him reshape his identity during his illness,

而照顧保羅的經歷 加深了照護提供者的意義。

that resilience does not mean bouncing back to where you were before,

or pretending that the hard stuff isn&#39;t hard.

百折不饒的韌性 不代表恢復到本來的位置，

And I learned that when we approach it together,

we get to decide what success looks like.

我學到，當我們一起去面對它，

One of the first things Paul said to me after his diagnosis was,

我們就有權決定最好結局的模樣。

當保羅知道診斷結果後， 他跟我說：

And I was like, whoa, I guess we get to say anything out loud.

然後我的反應是，哇！ 我猜我們現在什麼都能坦白說囉。

and that honesty turned out to be exactly what we needed.

we agreed we would just keep saying things out loud.

were not as daunting as they once seemed.

這種我以前都會避免討論的事，

I realized that completing an advance directive is an act of love --

我體悟到預立醫囑 其實是一種愛的表現，

如果需要的話，我會替你發言。

That paperwork became a tangible part of our love story.

生前醫囑成了我們感情存在的證明。

to understand and even accept his diagnosis.

我和保羅可以了解並接受診斷結果。

because we&#39;d seen so many patients in devastating situations,

因為我們都曾目睹 許多病人處在這種狀況，

and we knew that death is a part of life.

我們知道死亡是生命的一部分。

面臨死亡是一種非常不同的經驗，

to actually live with the sadness and uncertainty of a serious illness.

活在悲傷與對抗重病的未知中，

Huge strides are being made against lung cancer,

but we knew that Paul likely had months to a few years left to live.

但我們也知道 保羅只剩幾個月到幾年可活。

Paul wrote about his transition from doctor to patient.

保羅記下了他從 醫生到病人的角色轉變。

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【TED】Lucy Kalanithi：是什麼讓生命在死亡面前活得有價值（What makes life worth living in the face of death | Lucy Kalanithi）。 (【TED】Lucy Kalanithi: What makes life worth living in the face of death (What makes life worth living in the face of death | Lucy Kalanithi))