And I often joke about tensions between me and the press.

我常常會拿我和媒體間的緊張氣氛來開開玩笑

情態副詞

but honestly what they say doesn't bother me.

但老實說他們的言論對我沒有太大影響

I understand we've got an adversarial system.

我了解我們國家有當事人進行主義這樣的制度存在

I'm the mellow sort of guy and that's why I invited Luther, my anger translator to joining me here tonight.

我是個滿溫和的人，這也是為什麼我今天會邀請 Luther，我的憤怒翻譯員，一起參與今天的活動

把你們跟小小百合一樣白的屁股都給我坐好！

In our fast-changing world, traditions like the White House Correspondents Dinner are important.

在這進步的時代，白宮記者宴席傳統是很重要的

拜託一下，這晚會到底要幹嘛！？

傑布．布希，你是認真要辦這種餐會嗎？

Because despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day.

即使我們都有意見相左的時候，我們還是靠著媒體替我們播報社會上最重要的新聞

And we can count on Fox News to terrify old white people with some nonsense.

然後我們可以靠福斯新聞的鬼扯去嚇死那些棺材都踏進一半的老人啦

Sharia law is coming to Cleveland, run for the damn hills!

伊斯蘭法要出現在克里夫蘭州了，你們快逃阿好可怕！！

Oh, and CNN. Thank you so much for the wall to wall Ebola coverage ... for two whole weeks.

噢，然後 CNN，多謝你替我們做地毯式的伊波拉報導阿，整整給我報了兩週！

We were one step away from the Walking Dead.

我們都可以去演陰屍路了拜託一下！！！

And then you all got up and just moved on to the next day. That was awesome.

然後你們還不是一樣每天起床然後過日子，好棒呀

Oh, and by the way, just, if you haven't noticed, you don't have Ebola!

噢對了，怕你們還沒發現，你們根本就沒得病可以嗎？！！！

But I still deeply appreciate the work that you do.

但我依舊十分感激媒體為大家所做的事

Y'all remember when I had that big old hole in the bottom of the gulf of Mexico, and then I plugged it? Remember that?

你們還記得那次在墨西哥的漏油事件嗎？我還把那大洞補起來，有印象嗎？

Which Obama's Katrina was that one? Was that 19 or was it 20, because I can't remember.

噢那又是歐巴馬第幾次的卡崔娜風暴啊？（前任布希總統被卡崔娜颶風拖下台）第十九，還是第二十次啊？因為多到我根本都記不住了！！

Protecting our democracy is more important than ever.

捍衛民主是我們當前最重要的事

For example, the Supreme Court ruled that the donor who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars was just exercising free speech.

舉例來說，最高法院判定捐給 Ted Cruz 六百萬美元的人只是在實踐他的言論自由權罷了

Yeah. It’s the kind of speech like this. I just wasted six million dollars.

對阿！就因為這樣的言論害我丟了這六百萬元阿

And it's not just Republicans. Hillary will have to raise huge sums of money too.

不只共和黨員，希拉蕊也需要募集到夠高的資金

Khaleesi is coming to Westeros! Watch out! Woo!

Khaleesi 要回到 Westeros 了！你們小心點！歐！（取自影集 冰與火之歌）

The non-stop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy.

這些富豪的贊助對我們民主造成造成了一些問題

And that's why we're running for our third term!

這也就是為什麼我們決定要進行第三次的參選！

But we need to focus on big challenges like climate change.

但我們需要把焦點放在更大的挑戰，像是氣候變遷

Hey, listen you all. If you haven’t noticed, California is bone dry.

欸，你們都給我聽好，不知道你們注意到了沒，加州現在乾到不行阿

It looks like a trailer for the new “Mad Max” movie up in there.

那裏看起來就像是電影瘋狂麥斯的預告現場

Y’all think that Bradley Cooper came here because he wants to talk to Chuck Todd?

你們以為 Bradley Cooper來這邊只是因為他想跟 Chuck Todd 瞎聊嗎？

他需要的只是一杯水！你們也幫幫忙！

The science is clear. Nine out of the 10 hottest years ever came in the last decade.

科學數據已經清楚指出，過去九年都破了最高溫的紀錄

Now I’m not a scientist, but I do know how to count to ten.

我不是什麼科學家，可是我至少還知道怎麼數到十好嗎？！！

You got mosquitoes, sweaty people on the trains stinking it up. It's just nasty!

蚊子一堆、一大群濕濕黏黏的人擠在火車裡臭翻天，整個有夠噁心

I mean, look at what’s happening right now. Every serious scientist says we need to act.

我意思是，我們要正視現在的狀況，每個科學家都說我們得採取些行動了

The Pentagon says it’s a national security risk.

五角大廈說這已經影響到全國的安危了

Miami floods on a sunny day and instead of doing anything about it,

邁阿密在大晴天淹水，你們什麼事都沒做

we’ve got elected officials throwing snowballs in the Senate.

反而還有議員在議院給我丟雪球阿

好、好，我想他們懂你意思了兄弟

It is crazy! What about our kids? What kind of stupid, short-sighted irresponsible bull —

這真的太誇張了！我們的下一代該如何是好？這到底是怎樣子又笨又短視近利不負責任的爛...

All due respect, sir, you don't need anger translator. You need counseling.

先生沒有惡意，不過你好像不需要憤怒翻譯員了...你需要的是心理輔導員

So I'm out of here, man. I ain't trying to get into all this.

我要先溜了兄弟，我才不要被你拖下水

Luther, my anger translator he is, ladies and gentlemen.

Luther，這位是我的憤怒翻譯員，謝謝各位觀眾

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