A fictional race of [Argonimorphic] [apes], presented in books, movies, tales and in the [real life]. Humans are warm-blooded, soft-skinned, flat-faced, ugly mammals, who tent to make things that are beautiful ugly. The apes are rather unintelligent (the average intelligence quotient is 100), their main obsessions are domination, copulation (population over 6.600.000.000 and is still growing, it probably will until the apes run out of food, this obsession can also leads to [deviations], which is some sort of a psyche decease or highly dangerous side effect), social integration (the more friends they have - the better it is). They are treacherous, best not to trust them. The aggression level is so high that they can't get on without killing each other, every excuse is good to start a military conflict, or at least humiliate the opposing side and show one's domination over the other side. Also, humans are very weird, for example, in a face to face contact to communicate you have not only use words, but also [mimics], [gesticulation] and the so called, overall "body language". All in all, they have a tendency for over expression of their feelings, yet sometimes they seem to have no real feelings at all or have extremely shallow feelings. Some of them also believe in "faith", which is a thing that serves as an excuse for their mistakes and wrong life decisions. Most of the human governments, if not all of them, are [Kleptocratic].
Humans also have very weird sense of beauty, they consider ugly things (for example: snow mountains) as "breath taking". In most cases they can't even use the simplest logic. Paradoxically, everything in their life must be in a perfect order, everything must have a number, a name, every single item has its very own place in their homes, work places or wherever. They also like lots of entertainment and they can't remain serious when required. It is also worth noticing that in the human societies the [Emotional Quotient] (also known as EQ, also known as inter personal intelligence or emotional intelligence) is far more important than the actual Intelligence Quotient, in other words: it's better if you are charming than if you are intelligent. Humans have created over 3.000 languages and there are more than two hundred countries. The reason why humans don't want to unite is unknown, although they use excuses such as "culture", "languages" and few other things. In human societies being cynical is perceived as a disadvantage, a bad element of personality. Humans are also very ignorant and arrogant.
A very good example of their ignorance is fiction they create. For some unknown reasons they think that other sentient races - if they, of course, exist, are exactly same as them. A perfect example of this are the fan-made Argonian related modifications for the video game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, where humans are showing their lack of most basic knowledge and logical reasoning by mistaking reptiles with mammals et cetera.
The only hope for stopping this madness is the nuclear weapons arsenal, which is possessed by some countries, such as [Pakistan], [India], [France], [United States], [China], [United Kingdom] or [Russia].
Note: This is not a sarcastic entry.
You piece of human!
Self-absorbed animals in clothes.
Chimpanzee: This planet might actually be pretty cool if those pompous, pretentious, selfish humans weren't running around like they owned the show. Wait, I'm an animal... how the hell am I talking?
The doom of this planet.
"Humans are nothing but fucking viruses with shoes."
A species of idiots that, unfortunately, WE ALL belong to.
"Humans are complete and utter buffoons."
The smartest creature in the world that still acts like a dumb animal from time to time.
Apparently, human civilization prefers stupidity for a survival trait, and merely uses the geniuses as instruments for inching along human progress.
Incredibly arrogant creatures who seem to think that they are the only species on this planet.
The human race will eventually destroy itself, as well as the rest of the planet.
Bipedal creature found on Earth. First creature in the biosphere to succesfully refine abstract thought into more than the ability to lie and/or delude itself, humans developed the technique of picturing the way things might be and then planning ways to make reality fit the pattern.
This faculty turns in upon itself, however, when the attempt fails, leading to such emotional conflicts as self-loathing, bias against more succesful others, self-worship, or sublimation of individualism into a group mind.
Humans have borrowed many traits from other species such as hunting for pleasure ( from cats and squids ), enslaving other species ( from ants ), protecting and nurturing other species to gather products from them ( from ants ), spoiling other creatures habitats by their own constructs ( from beavers ), and creating and sharing habitats with other creatures ( from corals, rodents and birds ). Humans have invented several concepts for themselves, such as artistic endevour for its own sake, resource gathering and stockpiling for its own sake, ignorance and self-delusion as a natural right, love and attraction not solely for the purpose of reproduction, worship of the different, lack of diversity as a positive, and worship of the identical.
Humans are capable of percieving that they are less than what they imagine themselves to be. This is not only their major problem, it is also their major strength.
" Some say modern humans are smarter than cavemen, some say we are less. I think we are exactly as smart as cavemen, and that is pretty smart indeed".
A particularly noisy and destructive type of talking [primate], having long since forgotten its place in the scheme of things, which is currently set about the task of permanently altering the biosphere of [Earth] in order to render it incapable of supporting life.
This talking primate alone suffers from a debilitating kind of self-reinforcing gullibility and delusion that results in an almost immovable self-importance and dualism. This condition causes humans to over-populate, over-consume and render their own environment uninhabitable.
It is theorised that humans, so afflicted, are attempting to self-soothe their collective unhappiness by committing mass suicide. Two such attempts are recorded in their recent history. Success in this effort would secure the place of humans in the category of "evolutionary cul-de-sac."
A small minority of humans exist in varying states of liberation from this delusional state. However, said minority is generally ignored by the larger [civilization].
If you're annoyed by this definition, it's because you're a human.
When God decided to destroy the world.
What better thing to send in than humans?
1. Members of the species homo sapiens.
2. The members of the species homo sapiens taken as a group. While not the most numerous species either in individual number or in biomass, they consider themselves the dominant species of their planet, which the majority of them call "Earth." This claim is quite possibly justified, seeing as they have covered a great deal of it with their own constructions, never realizing that they are destroying many of the resources they depend upon in the process.
Many of them believe they were created by some sort of [god], however, few agree upon exactly what form this god takes nor what his opinions on certain matters are.
Essentially, a bunch of [mother fuckers] who think they're [leet] [haxor]s just because they've progressed so far that they have the [nuclear] capabilities blow up the [Earth], and yet still can't manage to live on the same planet without starting a few hundred [war]s a year, consuming the [natural resources] they depend upon without heed for their future, mistreating each other for various superficial reasons such as [race] or [ethnic] group or in some cases for no reason at all, and continually complaining about the problems they've created for themselves.
1. Hey, look! Some humans!
2. Humans are pretty stupid, aren't they?