I'm 71.

我今年71歲

My husband is 76.

我老公76歲

My parents are in their late 90s.

我爸媽快100歲了

And Olivia, the dog, is 16.

我家狗狗 Olivia 也已經16歲了

So let's talk about aging.

所以 聽我來談談老化吧

Let me tell you how I feel when I see my wrinkles in the mirror,

讓我告訴你 在鏡中看到自己的皺紋 是什麼感覺

and I realize that some parts of me have dropped

另外 我還發現 身體的某部位下垂了

and I can't find them down there.

無法在原本的地方找到它們

Mary Oliver says in one of her poems,

Mary Oliver的一首詩寫道

“Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

告訴我 你打算在瘋狂珍貴的有限生命裡 做些什麼?

Me, I intend to live passionately.

我 想要活出熱情

When do we start aging?

老化從什麼時候開始?

Society decides when we are old, usually around 65, when we get Medicare.

社會上認為 65歲左右 開始接受醫療照護 就算是老化

But we really start aging at birth. We're aging right now,

其實 打從一出生 老化就開始了 每個人都正在老化

and we all experience it differently.

每個人對老化的體驗都不同

We all feel younger than our real age, because the spirit never ages.

我們的心理永遠比生理年輕 因為靈魂不會老化

I am still 17.

我永遠17歲

Sophia Loren. Look at her.

看看Sophia Loren

She says that everything you see she owes to spaghetti.

她說 你眼前所見全都要歸功給義大利麵

I tried it and gained 10 pounds in the wrong places.

我照著她的話做 真的長了10磅 但長在不該長的地方

But attitude, aging is also attitude and health.

但 態度! 態度與健康也與老化有關

But my real mentor in this journey of aging is Olga Murray.

在我的老化旅程中 真正的心靈導師是Olga Murray

This California girl at 60

這位加州女孩在60歲時

started working in Nepal to save young girls from domestic bondage.

開始在尼泊爾幫助少女擺脫奴隸身分

At 88, she has saved 12,000 girls,

到了88歲 她拯救了1萬2千名女孩

and she has changed the culture in the country.

也改變了尼泊爾的文化

Now, it is illegal for fathers to sell their daughters into servitude.

現在 父親將女兒賣去當奴隸在尼泊爾是違法的

She has also founded orphanages and nutritional clinics.

她還成立了孤兒院與營養門診

She's always happy and eternally young.

Olga Murray永遠保持快樂與年輕

What have I lost in the last decades?

這幾十年來 我失去了什麼?

People, of course,

人 這是當然

places and the boundless energy of my youth.

還少了許多能去的地方 也不再有年輕時的無窮活力

And I'm beginning to lose independence, and that scares me.

現在我逐漸無法獨立自主 我感到害怕

Ram Dass says that dependency hurts.

拉姆‧達斯說 依賴別人著實難堪

But if you accept it, there is less suffering.

但如果接受這事實 依賴就不會使你那麼痛苦

After a very bad stroke, his ageless soul

在一次嚴重意外後 拉姆達斯的不朽靈魂

watches the changes in the body with tenderness,

溫柔地從旁看著自己的身體變化

and he's grateful to the people who helped him.

也對那些幫助自己的人十分感激

What have I gained?

現在我有些什麼?

Freedom. I don't have to prove anything anymore.

我擁有自由 不用再努力證明任何事情

I'm not stuck in the idea of who I was,

不用苦苦思索自己是誰

who I want to be or what other people expect me to be.

也不用煩心未來目標 回應外人期待

I don't have to please men anymore,

更不需要再取悅男人

only animals.

但還是得取悅小動物們

I keep telling my superego to back off,

我常會斥退心中理性

and let me enjoy what I still have.

讓自己盡情享受手邊仍擁有的

My body may be falling apart, but my brain is not yet.

也許身體正逐漸老朽 但大腦還沒

I love my brain.

我愛我的大腦

I feel lighter.

感覺更輕盈了

I don't carry grudges, ambition, vanity,

心中不再有怨 汲汲營營 懷抱虛榮

none of the deadly sins that are not even worth the trouble.

這些該死的罪孽現在根本不值一提

It's great to let go. I should have started sooner.

放手的感覺很棒 我早該這樣做

And I also feel softer,

內心也更柔軟了

because I'm not scared of being vulnerable.

因為我不再害怕變得脆弱

I don't see it as weakness anymore.

也不再覺得脆弱是種缺點了

And I've gained spirituality.

我變得更有靈性

I'm aware that before, death was in the neighborhood.

以前我就覺得 死神就在附近

Now, it's next door,

現在 祂變成我隔壁鄰居

or in my house.

甚至就在我家

I try to live mindfully and be present in the moment.

我全心全意地生活 試著活在當下

By the way, the Dalai Lama is someone who has aged beautifully,

順帶一提 達賴喇嘛老得很美

but who wants to be vegetarian and celibate?

但誰想當個禁慾的素食主義者?

Meditation helps.

冥想會有幫助

Ommm. Ommm. There it is.

嗡…嗡…就是這樣

And it's good to start early.

越早開始越好

You know for a vain female like myself,

像我這種愛慕虛榮的女性

it's very hard to age in this culture.

在現今文化下 老化很難承受

Inside, I feel, I feel good.

內在的我感覺很好

I feel charming, seductive, sexy.

覺得自己很有魅力 性感誘人

Nobody else sees that.

但除了我 沒人這樣覺得

I'm invisible.

我變隱形人了

I want to be the center of attention. I hate to be invisible.

我想要成為注目焦點 超恨當隱形人

This is Grace Dammann.

這位是Grace Dammann

She has been in a wheelchair for six years, after a terrible car accident.

由於一場嚴重車禍 她在輪椅上待了六年

She says that

她說

there is nothing more sensual than a hot shower,

沒有什麼比熱水澡更能刺激感官

that every drop of water is a blessing to the senses.

每滴水都像是種恩賜

She doesn't see herself as disabled.

她不覺得自己是殘障

In her mind, she's still surfing in the ocean.

在她心中 她還是大海中自在遨遊

Ethel Seiderman, a feisty, beloved activist

Ethel Seiderman是位活躍受歡迎的行動主義者

in the place where I live in California.

住在我加州的家附近

She wears red patent shoes,

穿著紅色的專利鞋

and her mantra is that one scarf is nice but two is better.

她的座右銘是 圍巾永遠不嫌多

She has been a widow for nine years

她已經當了九年的寡婦

but she's not looking for another mate.

但始終沒尋找另一名伴侶

She says that there is only a limited number of ways you can screw,

她說 嘿咻的方式就是那幾種

well, she says it in another way, and she has tried them all.

好吧 她是用別種說法 總之 她全都試過了

I, on the other hand, I still have erotic fantasies with Antonio Banderas,

但我呢 還是對Antonio Banderas充滿幻想

and my poor husband has to put up with it.

我那可憐的老公只能默默承受

So how can I stay passionate?

所以 我如何保持熱情?

I cannot will myself to be passionate at 71.

我無法期望自己在71歲時還是充滿熱情

I have been training for some time,

有些時候 我得訓練自己

and when I feel flat and bored, I fake it.

感到生活平淡乏味時 我就得偽裝

Attitude. Attitude.

態度 態度

How do I train? I train by saying yes to whatever comes my way,

怎麼訓練自己? 我學著接受面對一切

drama, comedy, tragedy,

接受所有事件 不論喜劇悲劇

love, death, losses.

擁抱戀愛 承受死亡 笑對失去

Yes to life.

對生命說"是"

And I train by trying to stay in love.

另一種訓練是 試著保持戀愛狀態

It doesn't always work, but you cannot blame me for trying.

不是每次都成功 但你不能怪我勇於嘗試

And, on a final note,

最後一點

retirement in Spanish is jubilación.

退休的西班牙文是jubilación

Jubilation. Celebration.

念起來有點像Celebration 慶典

We have paid our dues. We have contributed to society.

我們已經盡完責任 對社會有所貢獻了

Now it's our time, and it's a great time.

剩下的人生是屬於我們的 這是段很棒的時光

Unless you are ill or very poor, you have choices.

除非是受病痛或窮困所苦 不然你有很多選擇

I have chosen to stay passionate, engaged with an open heart

我選擇保持熱情 敞開心胸 認真生活

I am working on it everyday.

我每天都這樣努力著

Want to join me?

想和我一起努力嗎?

Thank you.

謝謝

First of all,

首先

I never like to presume to speak for the TED community,

我一直很不喜歡假裝成TED社群的發言人

but I would like to tell you that I have a feeling we can all agree that

但我很想跟妳說 我們全部人都覺得

you are still charming, seductive and sexy. Yes?

妳很有魅力 性感誘人

Aww, thank you.

噢~謝謝

Hands down.

甘拜下風

No, it's makeup.

這都是化妝啦

Now, would it be awkward if I asked you a follow-up question about your erotic fantasies?

如果現在問你更進一步的問題會不會很怪? 關於幻想

Oh go ahead! About what?

噢 妳就問吧... 關於什麼!?

About your erotic fantasies? -With Antonio Banderas.-I was just wondering if you have anything

關於妳對Antonio Banderas的幻想 好奇妳能不能多分享些

Well, one of them is that…

嗯…其中一個幻想是…

One of them is that I place a naked Antonio Banderas on a Mexican tortilla.

我在腦中幻想他裸體躺在墨西哥玉米餅上

I slather him with guacamole and salsa,

然後在他身上塗上厚厚一層鱷梨醬及騷莎醬

I roll him up, and I eat him.

再把他捲起來 吃乾抹淨